<p>Hello all…I am definitely a helicopter mom, with reason, I live across several oceans! I’m hoping my freshman will keep in touch via text and skype…lets see.</p>
<p>Incidentally, I gave my son xiggi’s suggestions on how to study for the SAT and told him I got them from a college website. No problem. The good news: He did very well and got into a number of high-end colleges.</p>
<p>My D refers to CC as nutter . com 
And there has been talk among her friends about whose parents like CC a lot. But she appreciates that I’ve gotten great information on here.</p>
<p>As for communication come August, I’m assuming that we’ll text & FB chat. Which we do now. We’ve considered Skype (our neighbor is in Australia for 3 weeks & has been using that with his parents so it’s come up in conversation) but I don’t think I feel the need for that. DH might though ;)</p>
<p>I recently wrote to a professor of one of our kids asking for some insight on an issue we ( child and parents) are facing with the opening sentence: " I have tried to refrain from “helicoptering” into the lives of our children since they went off to college…</p>
<p>The professor, who is chairperson of his department with a daughter at Stanford humorously wrote back not to feel guilty, since he and his wife employ helicopter techniques when needed. Both of our kids have learned how valuable CC has been to us in answering a number of questions and in forging a better sense of camaraderie
with other students and families at similar points in time.</p>
<p>BTW, for those who have not seen this article on new parent college orientation, be sure to check this out: [Parents</a> get a course in college orientation - Parenting - TODAYshow.com](<a href=“http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38112971/ns/today-parenting/]Parents”>http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38112971/ns/today-parenting/)</p>
<p>Every family is different. A conversation that might happen at one dinner table that seems totally normal may seem completely out of bounds and invasive to another. It’s all in your perspective.<br>
I understand the mom who watches the facebook ignoring many things so you can watch in the wings if something larger happens. I too cringe at a few things, look the other way trying to determine what is really important. Hmmm last week I did see a post from a young gentleman who was having a kegger. He will continue to be welcome at our house, however our son won’t be going there (he’s 17). Ignoring the posts about the forgotten chem hw (just want to scream) gives you a chance to see what is really important…safety.</p>
<p>I would also agree to some extent that some fussing about helicopter parenting comes from parents who either have children who are very proactive and need no assistance in gathering information and making lists to view colleges, etc., or they are just very laid back and assume it will all work out. Neither they, nor their students are too particular where the student goes to school. S2 isn’t like that. He’s perfectly happy to have me get the information. He gets the grades, the internship, etc. It’s what works for us.</p>
<p>I dropped him with friends last week, about 15 kids (17yos). He gave me a quick hug, kiss on the head (a good bit taller than me), and a ‘love you’. One of the boys looked at us like we were aliens and said 'I can’t remember the last time I hugged my mom. My son smiled and said ‘Shame on you!’. Our relationship is not perfect, far from it. It’s just what works for us.</p>
<p>I think post #26 summed it up beautifully.</p>
<p>My son is a rising junior. This sounds familiar:
DS will go to the college visits that I plan with an open mind, and I will go to the college visits he plans with an open mind. 
</p>
<p>For now, we are just checking things out, and he doesn’t mind me playing a leading role in the logistics of “looking at schools.” This week he thinks South Carolina sounds like a good fit. Although I fear this may be to some extent because he particularly likes the USC baseball caps that say “*****”, it is on the list…</p>
<p>My kids & hubby are mildly amused by me being on CC, but sometimes begrudge the time I spend on it. LOL. I don’t stress about it & don’t give out info about them that we are not comfortable sharing.</p>
<p>Thank you to Cartera45 (#26) and to blueiguana, above, for their eloquent words.</p>
<p>Blueiguana suggests two types of parents who fuss about helicopters: those with proactive children, and those who are laid back. I’m glad to hear those explanations. I had thought that those who are audacious enough to criticize other parents’ parenting styles are perhaps eager to allow our well-guided children to flounder because they are in competition with the critics’ children.</p>
<p>I am enjoying the college search process with my daughter. She voluntarily gave me her SAT and ACT passwords so I could check her scores; this last time, because she was out of town with no access to a computer when ACT scores came out. Over this two week period, she was home less than 24 hours (and she slept half the time). If I don’t prepare information regarding possible college visits and coordinate them with my husband’s business travel and my younger (non-driving) son’s athletic competitions, they just won’t happen. My daughter is grateful for my help. </p>
<p>As blueiguana said, it’s just what works for us.</p>
<p>Oh dear. My last post was hit with asterisks. </p>
<p>You know the mascot for USC? (It is a type of rooster with physical and behavioral traits derived from breeding for fighting.) The baseball caps have the shorter nickname for the team.</p>
<p>^ This is rather funny. I asked my son what USC’s mascot was, he said the Trojans, and I thought your message got asterisks because that is a brand name for items that used to be sold behind the counter. Then I re-read your post and figured it out. Funny.</p>
<p>Well there’s USC as in the University of Southern California and their mascots are the Trojans; then there’s USC which is the University of South Carolina and their mascots are the Gamecocks; shortened to the last 5 letters. One of the reasons why, although it is a good school, I am happy that my D decided to drop it from her list :)</p>
<p>Perhaps we HPs (Helicopter Parents) need to add another field to our excel spread sheet for the mascot name. :)</p>
<p>Sadly, I did mine in Word, not Excel, and have widened the margins and shrunk the type as much as possible already!</p>
<p>Yea, we don’t have one. Only three schools. The third at my instance as a safety. I’m not complaining as I think a huge list would be overwhelming, but with admissions roulette it makes me nervous!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes, and I think your post #45 does, as well.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Glad I’m not the only one!</p>
<p>HImom - how was your European family vacation?</p>
<p>My daughter will turn 25 in two days, and a month ago, she agreed to the ultimate in helicoptering. I have a tracer on her cell phone; as long as it’s on, I can find out where she is (if she has a signal).</p>
<p>Why on earth did she agree to this? She’s bicycling across the country, and I was worried about her safety. This was her concession to my worries. I’m finding I really enjoy knowing where she is as she does this ride. I check on her as she’s progressing, and I can see how’s she doing on that day’s goal, and it makes me so proud of her. Yesterday she was crossing the Cascades and I knew she had a 25-mile hill to cycle up, and I could see how it was going–and then see how much faster she went as she flew downhill into the next town. It makes me feel a bit like I’m there with her.</p>
<p>My point? Well, helicoptering is about helping our kids–and sharing their lives, too–and giving them space to do what they want to do… while managing our own worries and fears for them.</p>
<p>dmd77-
Congratulations to your daughter on a wonderful exploration! How exciting!!
The tracer on her cell phone is a good idea…safety for a number of reasons. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s overkill. The technology we have today of gps location has saved countless lives.
I hope she enjoys the trip. She’ll have memories for a lifetime!!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I think the helicoptering works best as a collaboration. ShawD and I worked out her list of schools and went over it with her GC in May. We’ve got 5 Canadian and 5 US schools on the list. She’s going to a science program at one of the Canadian schools in August, so we planned a trip that ends up there. I had Colorado College and then four Canadian schools on our list to visit in a week this summer. She told me that she was not sure she wants to apply to CC and would prefer to see Queen’s University. So, I was able to add University of Rochester. So we have 6 schools in five days. I handled all of the logistics (well, actually, my assistant handled the logistics as we are doing it on frequent flier points). But, I did all of the planning except for the school choice. She was up this morning reading without prompting about the University of Rochester, because she’ll have an interview there. The collaboration on goals works great, but I think it is easier for me to take care of the means. As an extremely frequent business traveler and a staff, I can take care of the logistics.</p>