I’m an incoming freshman and I’ve joined my university’s class of 2019 Facebook Page (it’s one that’s a closed group, created by students, not the university) and simply told my parents about how i posted in it, and explained what it was. Now my mom has joined the group (a group designed for the students) and has been reading all of their posts. She’s been telling my dad the things that kids post, like “oh, H, looks you can’t take a car on campus after all. There was a kid on the Facebook group who asked and they were talking about it.”
She’s always been kind of intrusive on my life for as long as I can remember, but I just don’t want college to be this way. I realize that she’s excited for me, most likely because she didn’t attend college herself, but I’m worried what it’s going to be like next year at this rate.
Are you going far away? Does the school have a parents group? Steer her toward the parent group. I bet it isn’t like PTA; the one where my kid goes to college has as one of its goals to keep the parents at bay! Parents can talk among themselves, and that keeps them away from the kids and the admin.
Is she on CC? She can ask away! But as long as she’s just checking the page out and not putting her own posts on it, it shouldn’t matter much.
If she’s been intrusive in the past, then just head her off in the future by sending an occasional e-mail with how you are doing.
.I bet CC saves a lot of kids from helicopter parents. They can lurk and hang around and find out stuff on the individual college sites. All the info is here–I bet 50 parents have already asked about bringing cars.
@Lizardly The school I will be attending is just over an hour away, but it will be a huge step up for me in terms of diversity, size, etc. I can see how she will be worried about me, but I know that I will be fine. And yes, there’s a parents group that the university runs, and I know she’s already a part of that…
@gouf78 No, she’s not on CC to the best of my knowledge. I’m sure she would have told me if she was.
@Trisherella Like I said, my parents are excited for college, and I am extremely excited for college, so that’s basically all we have been talking about recently. I just simply told my parents that I posted in the group looking for a roommate and then my mom asked what the name of it was and then joined it.
@TwoMuchMoney I have seen 1 other older person in the group. But seriously, who really likes the presence of parents within the group?
It could be worse, at least she’s not posting or referring to you in the comments. By the time you’re on campus,the group won’t be as often used as it is now. This is a big change and she must be curious about who you’ll be around for the next four years. I wouldn’t worry too much about it; try to have a little empathy for your mom and realize that in a few months you’ll be able to keep her at an arm’s length.
^^^ It definitely could be worse. Imagine if she posted pics of you when you lost your first tooth, or the first time you ate spaghetti-o’s, or that picture where you thought you were making a silly face but instead you look possessed.
It could get a LOT worse - she might try stumble onto casual hookup conversations and find out more than a parent wants to know about her child’s love life…
My kid has been a member of two groups, one college, another the Peqce Corps…and they had closed FB pages. Since I was NOT an accepted person to eother program, I could NOT join.
Doesn’t sound like a closed group.
I would find out who,the administrator of the student closed FB page is, and ask that your mother be removed. They can easily unfriend her…or otherwise remove her from this closed page.
@thumper1 the Facebook group is closed, but has just has just under 7,000 members, so the flow of people into the group is not very regulated.
I asked her if there was a Facebook page for parents and said there wasn’t for my class. She then stated that I shouldn’t be worried and she just joined the group because she’s learned a lot from it (About the university itself). I’m honestly not too worried any more.