<p>This is becoming an issue at many campuses and I thought would be of interest to this forum.</p>
<p>HAMILTON, New York (AP) -- They're called
"helicopter parents," for their habit of hovering -- hyper-involved --
over
their children's lives. Here at Colgate University, as elsewhere, they
have
become increasingly bold in recent years, telephoning administrators to
complain about their children's housing assignments, roommates and
grades.</p>
<p>Recently, one parent demanded to know what Colgate planned to do about
the
sub-par plumbing her daughter encountered on a study-abroad trip to
China.</p>
<p>"That's just part of how this generation has been raised," said Mark
Thompson, head of Colgate's counseling services. "You add a $40,000
price
tag for a school like Colgate, and you have high expectations for what
you
get."</p>
<p>For years, officials here responded to such calls by biting their lips
and
making an effort to keep parents happy.</p>
<p>But at freshman orientation here last week, parents heard a different
message: Colgate is making educating students a higher priority than
customer service. The liberal arts college of 2,750 students has
concluded
helicopter parenting has gotten out of hand, undermining the
out-of-the-classroom lessons on problem-solving, seeking help and
compromise
that should be part of a college education.</p>
<p>Those lessons can't be learned if the response to every difficulty is a
call
to mom and dad for help.</p>
<p>"We noticed what everybody else noticed. We have a generation of
parents
that are heavily involved in their students lives and it causes all
sorts of
problems," said Dean of the College Adam Weinberg. College, he said,
should
be "a time when you go from living in someone else's house to becoming
a
functioning, autonomous person."</p>
<p>Colgate says it has ample resources to help students. But when parents
call,
unless there's a safety risk, they're usually told to encourage their
children to seek out those resources themselves.</p>
<p>As for the China inquiry, Weinberg said, "we tried to explain in the
21st
century, the ability to plop down in a foreign country and hit the
ground
running is a fundamental skill."</p>
<p>Heightened parental involvement is one of the biggest changes on
college
campuses in the last decade, experts say. One major reason is the tight
bond
between Baby Boomer parents and their children.</p>
<p>"This is a group of parents who have been more involved in their
children's
development since in utero on than any generation in American history,"
said
Helen E. Johnson, author of "Don't Tell Me What To Do, Just Send
Money," a
guide for college parents. "I think colleges have been far too
responsive in
inappropriate ways to this very savvy group of consumers."</p>
<p>Another factor is cell phones. The era of the 10-minute weekly check-in
from
the pay phone in the hall has given way to nearly constant contact. Rob
Sobelman, a Colgate sophomore, says when students walk out of a test,
many
dial home immediately to report how it went. One friend checks in with
her
mother every night before going to sleep, he said.</p>
<p>"Even 10 years ago, parents couldn't even get hold of their children,"
said
Colgate President Rebecca Chopp. "If you reached them once a week it
was a
miracle." Now she says she's hearing from older alumni who are "worried
their grandchildren won't learn accountability and responsibility."</p>
<p>Many schools have noticed the trend, but they've been reluctant to
alienate
parents. Some have tried to accommodate the change, opening parental
liaison
offices, for instance.</p>
<p>But some schools, while glad to see parents care, are expressing
concern
over the downside. During freshman orientation this year at
Northeastern
University in Boston, Massachusetts, administrators urged parents not
to
call their children but to let them call home when they want to talk.
At
Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri, upperclassmen perform
skits
about healthy transitioning for parents. The University of Vermont
hires
students as "parent bouncers" to delicately keep parents from
interfering
in, for instance, meetings with advisers.</p>
<p>At Colgate, parents used to receive a sheet listing administrators'
phone
numbers. This year, they got a statement about Colgate's philosophy of
self-reliance -- a message that was hammered home repeatedly in talks
by
administrators. Next year, the school may assign parents summer reading
on
the transition to college.</p>
<p>The approach will continue throughout the year, part of a larger
emphasis at
Colgate on "teachable moments" outside the classroom. A memo sent to
departments ranging from residential life to counseling to public
safety
reminds employees: "We will not solve problems for students because it
robs
students of an opportunity to learn."</p>
<p>Mike Herling, a 1979 graduate with sons in the sophomore and freshman
classes, said he welcomes the approach.</p>
<p>"It's the intercession on a regular basis they're trying to discourage,
and
I think it's important they do," he said. "Kids are much more
self-confident
and develop better decision-making skills if they're given the
opportunity
to make decisions for themselves."</p>
<p>But Colgate acknowledges not all parents will be happy, and that there
have
already been unpleasant calls.</p>
<p>"We get quoted the price tag frequently," said Dean of Student Affairs
Jim
Terhune. "But what you're paying for is an education, not a room at the
Sheraton, and sometimes that education is uncomfortable."</p>
<p>Says Thompson, the counseling director and the parent of a college
student
himself: "I don't want them to be happy today. I want them to be happy
a
decade from now."</p>