<p>I probably shouldn't even be contributing to this thread. My son has Asperger's Syndrome and I'll hover as long as he needs me. He gets no accomodations at school and does very well considering the brain he was dealt. However, he is a student who needs second chances, accomodations and interventions. When he has teachers who say "no late papers will be accepted ever under any circumstances", it makes me sick to my stomach. He's out there without a legal net. </p>
<p>So many adults with neurological differences end up unemployed or under employed. I'll do whatever I need to make sure my son's future is as bright as possible.</p>
<p>Missypie- I wish you and your son the brightest future. I like the safety net imagery better than the helicopter one.</p>
<p>I have the same wish for all the quirky kids I know- hoping that they will end up in the right place, the right school, the right job for a successful future.</p>
<p>Yes, the point is that some kids NEED to be helicoptered. I would hate to think where my son would be had I not been such a hovering parent. He now has his AA degree and is finishing up at a four year university. The amount of involvement has gradually gotten to be less and less as time goes on. I picked out the school, filled out the application (no essay required), and kept track of his classes with his advisor as he progressed. He has made many mistakes such as not going to class, not getting help, disorganization, etc. that we could not fix, so he had to learn the hard way and he is now a better student. (I should add that he has documented learning disabilities and ADD, for which he refuses to take medication)
My daughter, on the other hand, needs very little help. I did fill out her applications, as she was very busy with school and dance class but she wrote her own essays. She calls us for advice, but we have never had to intervene in the ways in which we did with our son.</p>
<p>OK, I have a friend who runs a home, a business, is very socially and civically involved. She is most definitely an adult. She talks to her d in college at least once, and maybe more than once per day. </p>
<p>However, she also talks to her mother several times per day, and to her siblings at least once. Is her mother a "helicopter"? Don't think so - she's a full fledged, successful adult by any definition we have. And I fully expect her children to be the same. </p>
<p>They're a close-knit family. This is the model that works for them. Why should I care?</p>