<p>I don’t see any problem with telling him that you’ve changed your mind. It was unfair of him to put such pressure on you when he asked in the first place, so just be honest and direct, and tell him that you have no interest in going to prom with him. That simple.</p>
<p>A friend of mine was caught in a similar situation, and another friend (in Madrigal) took it upon himself to sing a rejection song to the guy that had asked her. He understood, and withdrew his offer politely. I doubt most guys want to go to prom with a girl if they know she doesn’t want to go with them, I know I wouldn’t. A large part of the excitement about going to a dance with someone is that they really want to go with you, and I’d imagine that this is especially the case with this guy. Good luck.</p>
check the grapevine to make sure this guys legit. Asking someone to prom with their your friends and a camera is a bit weird. You said the guy the kind of awkward, well generally, awkward kids are either really nice or very very perverse, malicious, are into things no normal being would be into. He might have asked you as a cruel joke. Unlikely but possible.</p>
<p>2.I’ve been on the opposite side of your situation and trust me its sucks to be there. Assuming hes not the serial killer type of awkward, he probably really likes you. So, again, check the grapevine. Ask friends, check facebook, see if you can get a hint of his true feelings</p>
<ol>
<li><p>I would recommend going with him (again, assuming hes not the serial killer type of awkard) and invite him to your group of friends. You will feel more comfortable and less awkward with your friends than his. </p></li>
<li><p>If you dont want any romantic vibe to the prom, then I would invite some of his friends that dont have dates (keep the invites of friends with dates to a minumum). SO with your group of friends and his, its comfortable, friendly and kills any flirty mood that may occur.</p></li>
<li><p>But whatevr you do…do not…DO NOT reject him and go with someone else. You will scar him for life. You generally dont wanna scar potential serial killers for life, those movies don’t end well. And two, you would create very bad karma.</p></li>
<li><p>Good Luck</p></li>
</ol>
<p>The thing to do at my daughter’s school right now is ask someone in a really cool, special way. The guy that asked her put a giant 10 foot sign, surrounded by lights, right in the driveway where she would see it when she left for school one morning. All of the kids are trying trying to outdo each other on their prom proposals. I’m just thinking that is why he did the camera thing with the friends. I think you should go, but let him know that you are just going as friends, that you are not interested in getting involved with anyone right now, but you don’t have to be mean. I believe in karma. Treat people the way you would want to be treated, because it will come back and bite you if you don’t. At this point, he has probably already put money into his tux and who knows, he could have rented a limo, it would be really mean to bow out at this point. A friend of mine, a few years back, her son was dumped days before the prom by the girl that he had asked out. He was so devastated, and had already put up quite a bit of money. That boy was a little “awkward”. He has now graduated from UF with his MBA and is now getting his Phd and working for some big company, already making great money, he is already very successful, and he is a great guy. And…he isn’t awkward anymore, he is very handsome as well!</p>
<p>Parents invade this post because we’ve been there done that. </p>
<p>I can’t tell you whether to dump him or not. I can tell you I was in a similar situation and got caught in a very awkward situation. What no one had told me about prom night was what happens AFTER the dance. It differs at every school. (I had just moved there, so didn’t know.) I found out I was expected to go stay at the beach with this guy who I barely knew and didn’t like. For the weekend. In one room. With another couple. With everyone else from my school at the same beach at various motels. I found this out when he drove to my house after the prom, with the other couple in the car, and told me to run in and get my suitcase. For what? For the weekend. </p>
<p>Needless to say, I didn’t go.</p>
<p>Later, at school, everyone was shocked that I had the guts to not go. I just rolled my eyes. *** was he thinking?</p>
<p>So, even if you go, you need to talk to this guy ahead of time, and YOU set the ground rules. Is there an afterparty? Do yo want to go alone? Do you want to invite him? He’s obviously very showy about snagging you, so you need to be on guard about what else he may have bragged to his friends about.</p>
<p>BTW: I think it’s rude for any guy to pull a stunt like that unless it’s with a real girlfriend. I know it’s a popular thing to do, but it’s cruel and immature. Any guy that doesn’t have the guts to speak quietly and directly to you in private, who creates a spectacle, deserves to be dumped. The question is will you survive the aftermath? You shouldn’t be nervous, you should be angry.</p>
<p>Go with him since you said yes. Either go with his group or your group of friends. Then once your there, just go your separate ways. Now a days (unless your a couple) prom dates don’t stick together when the music starts and everyone goes out onto the dance floor. No one takes it as an insult, it just happens. Most dates would feel too awkward sticking together the whole night anyway, so you aren’t alone.</p>
<p>You said yes. Go with him. I know someone (not exactly a close friend, but he’s a cool guy) who got a girl to say yes, who then changed yer mind to go with some other guy. Not fun, to say the least.</p>
<p>Parent here. IMO your “yes” was basically coerced … I think if perfectly fine to not go with him. However, if you are going to back out do it ASAP and unlike his request please do it in a mature fair way. Find time to talk to him 1-on-1 … explain that when he asked with the friends and the video taping you did not want to embarrass him … and that if he had asked 1-on-1 you would have said no (I assume this is true … yes???). Typically, I do not think people should back out on things they say … but in this case the question was not really presented in a fair way.</p>
<p>I understand the showy invitations for the prom have ratcheted up over the last few years … but guys thinking about doing this, especially if you are not boyfriend/girlfriend, please think about the situation in which you are putting the girl. She owes you a fair an honest answer and in return you owe her a chance to give a fair an honest answer. IMO, popping a surprise invitation on an unsuspecting person in a public place with others their to watch the proposal is very unfair to the girl … you are asking her to handle a private conversation in a very public way and, making it even harder, a conversation that is a complete surprise.</p>
<p>Tough call. You said yes, but you were surprised. I’d say stick with yes. On the other hand, if you go with him and totally wish you weren’t with him it could be a miserable evening. You have to decide if you’d have fun anyways or just a miserable prom. If you truly can’t see going with this guy, just be honest and tell him you were surprised and flattered but aren’t interested. Let us know how it turns out.</p>
<p>…
Parents, this is a bit weird. Time has changed since yours. The guy brought a camera bc he wants to put it up on youtube as a way to brag and feel socially
Cool. Parents, you are putting too much thought in this, especially in a high school forum, making me fear that there might be some oldies who put on a harmful assumption of a teenager.
For the OP, think of yourself in his shoes. What would you feel if you are dumped days before prom? Karma catches up, you know</p>
<p>^Even though people commenting on this post are of different ages, I’m pretty sure most of us agree that filming the proposal and bringing a group of friends is not right. Also, why arent you considering how does the OP feels about this? Isnt it karma too if the guy pressured her, he got what was coming if she chooses not to go with him?</p>
<p>I’m curious what the OP chose to do, now that it’s days away from prom (unless her school has a late one). Even though the guy unfairly pressured her, he was also probably pressured into doing that with his friends - but the tape recorder was not cool at all. </p>
<p>It’s a little late now, but I would have talked to him immediately afterward, as soon as I could do it one-on-one, and tell him that I wasn’t comfortable with his method of asking and that I wasn’t able to go with him. Now that it’s so close, it’s much harder to turn him down. I would just make the best out of an awkward situation and try to have fun. </p>
<p>Don’t send mixed signals - stay away from slow dances, don’t let him have his hands on you, try to mingle with friends, etc. You can have fun with him without encouraging him to ask you out or put a move on you. If you have to be blunt, just take a deep breath and tell him you’re not interested in him like that.</p>
<p>Ok. This happened to me. The second guy who I had a crush on and had been hanging out with waited too long to ask. Meanwhile “friend” guy asked. The dance wasn’t that far off so I said yes. Crush guy found out he was beaten to the punch and then was all “I was going to ask you”. He was Mr. Quarterback, All -American, all-ego and took it upon himself to call the 1st guy and talk him out of it-without asking me. My mother was mortified when she found out. I was put in an awkward position by crush guy. She made me call friend guy and tell him I was still going with him. By that time friend guy was so intimidated by crush guy that he said , “that’s OK, go with crush guy, he explained to me how he was going to ask you , blah, blah, blah” </p>
<pre><code> If I had to do it over I would have gone with friend guy. My mom was right. At the time I was flattered 2 guys wanted to go with me and crush guy finally stepped up and even took charge to “fight for me”. But in reality he was a jerk for strong-arming friend guy and I should have never stood for it.
My advice–go with first guy, you can make it clear it is a friend sort of thing, go with a group of non-couples and have a good time. Believe me you will feel better about yourself. Graduation is in a few weeks so it is not like you will be seeing him for the 9 months straight.
</code></pre>
<p>I say you should say no. He used sympathy and pressure to get you to say yes. You’ve made it clear that you don’t like this guy this way and he’s weird. You seem to really like the other guy. If you ditch him he can still find someone else. It’s either you or him having a good time. Do you wanna be looking back in 20 years wishing you had went with the second guy?</p>