<p>Looking forward to an update, OP! Thought of this trad today when I heard that one of the stars of “Lost” (51 yr old Doug Hutchison) married his 16 yr old girlfriend!! Ewwww. What mother in her right mind would allow that??? <a href=“Green Mile Actor, 51, Marries 16-Year-Old Aspiring Pop Singer; Says "True Love Can Be Ageless" - E! Online”>Green Mile Actor, 51, Marries 16-Year-Old Aspiring Pop Singer; Says "True Love Can Be Ageless" - E! Online;
<p>Yes, welcome back to the thread OP! </p>
<p>Yeah, we all went a little crazy with our posts while you were gone…sorry.</p>
<p>And jym626- ewww! Wow…</p>
<p>Ewww is right!! And apologies for my incessant typos. I meant that I thought of this “thread” today.</p>
<p>"I want to reassure everyone that I am NOT fake/■■■■■. I created a new screen name because my other one had postings that showed what school she attends.
I hope to have an update by this weekend because I’ve been dealing with the school for the past two days. </p>
<p>I’m logging off now because my dd is on her way home in a few minutes." - OP</p>
<p>TEASE! We want a happy ending.</p>
<p>Okay, I will come back and read this entire thread when I have time, but without other background knowledge, do we actually know the guy’s a creep, or is he possibly socially awkward, or is it possible he is genuinely attracted to what I suspect might be a very mature, intelligent D? Just wondering.</p>
<p>Then again, my H is 9 years my senior, and his dad is, at age 84, a quarter century older than his second wife. And when I was 19 and 20, it’s true that I’d dated a few mid-lifers. The ideas of “using” and “predator” are kind of a two way street. Not every 19 year old is a victim waiting to happen, and not every 34 year-old is a predator in training. In fact, sometimes its symbiotic, and sometimes it’s valuable experience.</p>
<p>That said, both need some ethical counseling re: professional standards. The prof needed to absent himself from grading her work and she needed to absent herself from his class, if only out of a genuine care and concern for the well-being of each other…which I suppose does support the idea that the whole thing was dodgy. While being an adjunct prof is “sort of” a position of trust, it’s not quite the same as typical position-of-trust abuses such as therapist/patient where there is a clear presumption of vulnerability. </p>
<p>Musing aside, I will be interested to see what happened, and hoping it worked out in a positive way for everyone. I can certainly appreciate the angst it must have caused.</p>
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<p>Do you not realize why someone may not want to post something extremely private and personal under a screen name with a lot of identifying information?</p>
<p>Yes, warbrain, of course. But do you not realize that it is against the TOS???</p>
<p>Welcome back, OP! The suspence did kill a few of us. Please do tell the story. All of us need a closure. Well, we care about you and your family. We do hope also, your H knows about this and he is part of it as well.</p>
<p>jym626, I would be surprised if many of the regular posters here didn’t have multiple accounts. A lot of people have posted information on specific college threads or otherwise identified their kids’ school, then when they want advice they want to remain confidential. </p>
<p>It may be against the TOS, but I don’t think too many people are worried about that.</p>
<p>So, OP, tell us what has happened? We’re all curious! I hope your daughter is doing well and you two are still on good terms…</p>
<p>It’s just dumb and confusing to have multiple accounts…I don’t feel like keeping track of it…I wouldn’t want more than 1 CC account, but I guess some people do.</p>
<p>OP- again, what happened???</p>
<p>FYI, in the PM I rcv’d OP said she’d hope to have an update by the end of the week. Hang tight.</p>
<p>I agree with iluvpiano. To have more than 1 account, according to the TOS, a poster has to get permission from the mods.</p>
<p>@Youdon’tsay- I received a PM from the OP saying that also. just hoping she tells us very soon!</p>
<p>I am hoping to hear of a good resolution that will prevent this guy from “dating” other young women in his current classes.</p>
<p>Yeah, this guy sounds like a big creep</p>
<p>Helllllooooooo … oooooo … oooooo. Is there an echo in here??? Any update???</p>
<p>OP where are you? Any update yet? It’s the weekend, as you mentioned there may be an update…???</p>
<p>any new information???</p>
<p>Well, for what it worth, here is what I think: She is writing her novel on this and can’t give too much information. Just read the book when it comes out. Sorry folks! No freebies…</p>
<p>Hello everyone-
I’m back! Where do I begin? I wish I had better news to report!</p>
<p>I was going back and forth with how I was going to handle this and ended up deciding at almost the last minute that I was going to confront him to find out what his deal was. I showed up early at my d’s campus on move out day and called him. I blocked my cell so he couldn’t see the number just in case he didn’t pick up. To my surprise he did pick up and I told him who I was and that I was on campus to meet him. Before he could hang up I told him that if he called ortexted my daughter to tell her that I called him that I was walking right into the office of academics. I told him I was on the library steps and he told me that he’d be there in 15 minutes. </p>
<p>You may think I’m crazy but I was convinced that he was going to give me some story about how he never meant for this to happen line or that my daughter is a very special young woman line or anything about how much he cares about her. Ha- Not even close. This predator had a bit of an attitude that I was confronting him for his actions since he believed he had done nothing wrong!! He didn’t care that it was against the rules of the university since he’s wasn’t hurting anyone. He said age was just a number and he doesn’t see her as his student. I had to bite my tongue and not come across as threatning and it was veryyyyyyy HARD!!! He acted as if he didn’t need the job at my d’s school and when I mentioned the other schools he teaches at he seemed to back off with his arrogant attitude. This guy literally made me sick to my stomach while I was talking with him. </p>
<p>I ended the conversation with a threat and told him he had 48 hours to end it with her or I’d be calling the school on Monday morning to report him. He was livid that I was threatning him and tried to turn the tables on me by saying that I’m looking to hurt him when he hasn’t hurt a soul. He walked away all mad while mumbling a few things about me. I left there thinking that he was ending it and assumed that my daughter had all summer to get over him.</p>
<p>Well… He never stopped texting or calling her! I gave him a few extra days and their communication continued. I contacted the school again the following week and spoke with the Dean of Student Affairs. I told him everything but our names and asked him what my next step should be. I couldn’t give him my daughters name without telling her that I was reporting him. That’s a whole other story but I will say that my daughter will not agree to report him and I don’t believe she ever will! </p>
<p>So, after several phone calls with the Dean, I provided him with both of their names after assurance from him that she will never be contacted by the university. After several meetings internally at the school, they called me back and told me that they’re unable to remove him from their faculty unless my daugther comes forward. They can’t get rid of him even though I have proof of phone records and told them about my meeting with him where he confirmed it to me because I’m a third party. Am I disappointed? Yes, but I feel that I have to protect my relationship with my daughter and not risk it because I force her to report him. I am relieved that they now have his name and I provided them with details of our meeting. Without a doubt they want this guy gone so I’m sure they’re going to do whatever it takes to get rid of him for possibly other reasons. </p>
<p>Some good news is that they’re hardly in contact now. I just hope that they’re not going to start this back up in the fall. She has been texting and talking to a new guy that’s her age and will hopefully have her saying to herself… what the heck was I thinking?!?</p>
<p>I know many are wondering about my husband. I waited until grades were in and closed that Monday before I told him the whole story. I was going to wait until I knew he was in Europe for the summer just in case he wanted to drive to his house. The predator wouldn’t tell me when he was leaving for Europe. His response to that question was “I’m leaving whenever your daughter told you I was leaving”. Yup… that’s the attitude I got from him. Anyway, my husband took it better than expected; he seemed more upset with her poor choice then he was of wanting to kill the guy! </p>
<p>Well… it’s after 1:00AM and I’m exhausted. Hopefully this update makes sense since I tried to be brief and not ramble on too much. </p>
<p>I want to thank everyone again for their kind words and support. My next update is hopefully going to be… My daughter decided to do the right thing and report him. He is offically gone! 
I can only hope!
Thank you again for your support. I’m sure there will be many questions from everyone so feel free to ask as I’m sure I left out some details.</p>