<p>Haven’t read your post yet, but was glad to see you’ve updated! Now, off to read it.</p>
<p>scum… scum… scum…</p>
<p>Oh yes! Scum Scum Scum… that and a few other choice words which can’t be used on this forum!</p>
<p>Oh my heck! This guy is a piece of work. But I’m guessing that knowing that you have no qualms about going to the administration about this will quell his ardor and will lead him to move on to less troublesome pastures…even if the university can’t fire him.</p>
<p>I would also report him to the other schools, so they could keep an eye on him. I am glad that you confronted him and followed through.</p>
<p>“After several meetings internally at the school, they called me back and told me that they’re unable to remove him from their faculty unless my daugther comes forward. They can’t get rid of him even though I have proof of phone records and told them about my meeting with him where he confirmed it to me because I’m a third party…”</p>
<p>I find this very disturbing… what exactly are the RULES at THIS school about a teacher being in a relationship with his student?</p>
<p>“Without a doubt they want this guy gone so I’m sure they’re going to do whatever it takes to get rid of him for possibly other reasons.” How do you know this? Are you sure? </p>
<p>"Some good news is that they’re hardly in contact now. " PLEASE monitor the situation as much as you can to keep your d safe, in case this guy is a wacko.</p>
<p>needadvice,
we all thank you for letting us know what transpired.
Please take care of yourself and your daughter!!!</p>
<p>They are probably unable to remove him for cause based on hearsay. </p>
<p>But … it sounds like they are taking you seriously and they can certainly have a little chat with Mr. Romeo and let him know that they are not going to tolerate this behavior. And as an adjunct professor, isn’t his contract more or less “at will”? Meaning they might not have need of his services next semester without any specific reason.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. </p>
<p>One can understand why the university can’t do anything based on a 3rd party report. No one’s job would be safe from malicious unfounded reports. </p>
<p>But I do hope your D learns to live without him over the summer and finds a new love!</p>
<p>Yes, I believe the school is taking this very seriously. The Dean I contacted back in May has been in constant contact with me since I called him back after the semester ended.
It was late last night when I posted the update so I should have added that I asked the school to keep our names confidential; meaning when they confront him to try and remove him that I didn’t want our names mentioned. He told me that my daughter would have to be called into a meeting if he denied anything. I didn’t want to take a chance of him denying it and my daughter having to be called into a meeting. At this time, I think that’s the best way for my family to handle it. They now have his name and details of the unsettling things that came out of his disgusting mouth.</p>
<p>Thank you for the update. Do you think this teacher will tell your daughter that you contacted him? Or if the school confronts him about such things (without mentioning names but he’ll know why it came up, and you did tell him if he didn’t break it off that you would report him), that he’ll tell your D? In any case, his attitude toward you was quite unprofessional (but he is unprofessional in crossing the line and dating a student who was under his direct supervision).</p>
<p>I’m not sure that he told my daughter that I confronted him. I’m at the point where I don’t care anymore. I was mostly concerned that day because that would have been an awful horrific drive back home… talk about a ride from h*ll if she knew! My daughter wears her emotions on her sleeve so I can’t imagine her knowing though so I’ll have to assume he didn’t tell her. </p>
<p>He’ll also know that it was me if the school decides to move forward without our names but I don’t care about that either. My only concern at this time is my daughter being called into the school for a meeting about this jerk if he denied it. Who knows, I could change my mind if I find out anything more about him or if he starts contacting her again by either confronting him again or going back to the school and taking my chances he won’t deny it.
They know he’s in Europe so they said their hands are tied until he comes back.</p>
<p>I hope your D finds a new love this summer. I’m sure the confrontation and ensuing conversations with the college made you feel better. I think if she doesn’t already know you could assume she does know or at some point will know about your conversations with the guy and the school but I can certainly understand the college’s position regarding the allegations and the need for the report to come from your D. Frankly, I think you should come clean with your D about what you did in case she is called into the college offices. No doubt though that this prof will be under scrutiny at this college for quite some time and/or his contract renewal might be in jeopardy.</p>
<p>Wow. Needadvice12345 I’m proud of you!</p>
<p>For him to say he “doesn’t think of her as a student?” :eek: She WAS his student! That’s a basic, undeniable FACT! She was IN HIS CLASS - ergo, she IS HIS student! </p>
<p>This guy has serious personality problems. Probably never had a parent tell him NO in his whole life. The rules apparently don’t apply to him. Geesh.</p>
<p>I LOVE that you mentioned the other schools he teaches at. I’m sure they’d be quite interested in this information. The last thing a college wants is a lawsuit from hiring a known predator.</p>
<p>English professors are a dime a dozen. Hopefully he’s at will or his contract is up soon, then your D’s college can simply tell him his services are no longer required and hire someone else - although from what they’ve said, it’s not that simple. Even if he gets hired back they will be watching him like a hawk. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall in those many internal meetings the college had!</p>
<p>Edit - thinking about this, I think he’s in a corner he can’t get out of. If he denies it, and they ask to talk to your daughter, and then she’ll know he denied it. How much can he really care about her if he denied having a relationship? PLUS if he denies it then he’s confirming that he KNOWS it was wrong. That leaves HER with 2 choices in a meeting with the school: A) Deny it - which proves that they both knew what he was doing was wrong, or B) Confirm it and he’s gone. Either way - your daughter will either know that he doesn’t care about her enough to stand up for their relationship, or he’ll be fired and gone. Meanwhile it will become crystal clear to her that there isn’t another adult to be found who thinks what he did wasn’t wrong.</p>
<p>Another thought - perhaps your daughter doesn’t want to admit this was wrong because she doesn’t want to think of herself as a victim? She wants to see herself as a mature adult and a desirable woman - not as a helpless play-toy. Admitting to herself that this guy preyed on her and that she was victimized could be seriously upsetting. She may feel like she can’t trust her own judgement any more. You might want to have the names of some counselors on hand - or perhaps the college needs to provide some counseling on THEIR dime, since they hired this predator.</p>
<p>This instructor is already listed in the fall academic catalog so he’s scheduled to teach 3 classes. I’m assuming he teaches only freshman and they don’t pick classes until August so they have time to replace him. The school told me early last week they were moving forward with getting rid of him but called me back later in the week after another internal meeting with the human resource department to tell me that their hands are tied if he denys it. I’m going to revist this with my daughter next month to see if she’d be willing to do with right thing. </p>
<p>I’m still tossing around the idea of calling the other 3 schools but I’m worried about him retaliating against my family if I was to ruin his career. I also think of him sitting home all day unemployed while my daughter is only a 20 minute car ride away. Could he also come after me for slander or harassment… I don’t know.</p>
<p>I am now convinced since I met him that my daughter was not his first and ABSOLUTELY will not be his last. This guy just shrugged when I asked him if rules don’t apply to him. He kept on repeating that he’s not hurting anyone and that he has a kind soul and doesn’t look at it as crossing the line and breaking the rules since no one is being hurt. Gosh… he makes me sick and just typing this is getting me all worked up again. Ahhhhhh… Time for a coffee refill!</p>
<p>Oh and for some good news… My daughter went on a date last night with someone new she met last month! 
She seems happy excited so I couldn’t be happier. </p>
<p>She is having a great summer getting together with old high school friends and doesn’t seem to be missing him one bit. The first two weeks she was home she was spending a lot of time on FB messaging going back and forth with him. She’s hardly ever on the computer now so I think him being far away helped her move on. He must not have brought his phone to Europe because they’re not texting or talking. </p>
<p>Someone asked if I was friends with her on FB, yes I am and they’re friends too. She doesn’t have any pictures of them together. He also posted a “helloooo girl” on her wall shortly after she came home from school but she deleted it after she saw it. I captured it on my phone by taking a picture to use as more proof if i needed.</p>
<p>
I am confused. At the outset of this thread, in April, you said you hadn’t spoken to the administration.</p>
<p>I contacted the school the week of finals (early May) to ask for some direction on how to handle this. When I first started this thread I was not in contact with the school.</p>
<p>Best of luck. You are fighting a battle that really isn’t yours to fight but you’ve gotten support from the college within their legal ability to support and clearly the fact that they engaged HR tells you they took your allegation seriously. You need to separate your desire to help your daughter from your need for retaliation against the boyfriend. Along with ensuring your D supports any continuing action you might want to consult a lawyer so you understand what you can and should do and what you shouldn’t do as a third party if you are thinking about talking to other colleges or continuing to pursue this further than what has already occurred.</p>
<p>Crossposting, but the lack of communication from him is probably upon advice from his employer or just common sense on his part which is what you wanted right?</p>
<p>I edited my reply to say May instead of March. They started this relationship in March…</p>
<p>Momofthree- I totally agree so that’s why I haven’t contacted the other schools. I’m going to wait it out until the end of the summer to see what happens. If I have to I’ll call his phone again but this time I’ll hand the phone to my husband! ha</p>