Good to see that OP has cooled down a bit. Reading through, I got very worried. Seeing how you were quite anxious about this whole college and test taking stuff, maybe you should also try to relax a bit- maybe do some yoga or meditation. It might help you focus better and also reduce stress. And if you can’t control moving around, then maybe…you should look into online college- it’s a possibility. But, keep studying for TOEFL as John Cabot suggests. What is your native language? I’m a bit curious. And there are plenty of resources to learn English-just gotta look around.
@muu2000 really? you’re interested? well, the pressure and anxiety comes from my parents. its so annoying, my mum is a retired doctor and her friends are all doctors then again my dad is a captain and my 2nd younger brother has won scholarship to unsw to do engineering before me. everybody expects me to be an artist since thats the only thing i could do, earn BFA, blablahblah, be the top like everybody else. but to be honest, it doesn’t work that way. i just gotta work hard and face the fact that I’m a loser, like the ugly duckling when it comes to family time.
@teeekilicious18 Country I asked
@MuffinLord1 the way i reduce anxiety, I exercise. i went out for a run or swim and I’d normally isolate for a month if its severe. right now, everyone is worried about me, trust me and wondering where I’ve been. my native language is malay. I can speak : malay, english, indonesian, french. right now, I was told to add on spanish and arab then chinese because I’m Singaporean originally. Singaporean who travels.
I would just recommend practicing more english and doing as your university recommended you to. Plus remove some distractions from your life and stop seeing your goals as if you have achieved them, instead realise that it’s just a possibility “if” you do your hand of the job.
can you guys see? I normally write my feelings in french, heres my everyday rant 
https://shrib.com/mvZbqvu4rtndAoF?v=nc
ok?
@muu2000 oh yup. i’ve decided to not work and focus on languages.
i don’t know why… seriously… i can ace other languages except English. weird, why is English grammar the toughest out of the other languages I’ve learnt.
I don’t think so
That’s quite a few languages! So you’re Singaporean? Singapore is a great place, but also expensive and I don’t suppose your parents would consider moving back, would they? And, right now, don’t move to another language until you’ve worked with English a bit more. It’s good to learn languages, but first perfect English and then move on to maybe Italian? Perfect maybe isn’ t the right word, but improve your English. Not Spanish because you want to go to school in Italy?
And good to hear you exercise to reduce your anxiety. Don’t get too obsessed with looking at what your family has accomplished. Doing that only further disheartens yourself sometimes. Believe in yourself and your ability alone. It’s hard, but you can do it.
@muu2000 dont think so with ?
@MuffinLord1 you’re so nice, wish we can keep in touch more. or lets message? I’d love to privat chat there, if you’re curious about more. me learning those languages, I have background to it. yeah, my parents want me to travel to because we agree, Singapore is expensive.
Why aren’t you considering Australian schools? Maybe the English is a sticking point. With your knowledge of foregin language, I suggest you look at other international colleges that offer degrees in foreign language. Why John Cabot? There should be other unis that you can get into. I suspect though that English is still going to be required.
@Lindagaf hahaha thats what my mum offers to. but no, italian is the world for the arts. more exposure there. and john cabot offers presidential scholarship for all international students 
Then you have got to beat the merit
@muu2000 amen brother! i can’t imagine if I cried in front of ya’ll xD
Here is what I am sensing: you aren’t really sure what you want to do. You want to be in Rome because it’s Rome. Without a qualifying TOEFL score though, you can’t get in to John Cabot. For reasons that you don’t make clear, but which I think is really just frustration, you haven’t been able to score well on TOEFL, or you have not yet tried it. You can bypass TOEFL with a SAT score that is high enough. You are frustrated because, while you obviously have very good conversational English, it isn’t good enough to get a decent score on the SAT. What your post is really saying is “I am really upset but I just want to release my frustration. I know that what I need to do is improve my English and stop making excuses.”
I will say it again, improve your English. Stop making excuses about the expense of the tests, your travelling, etc… If you had a tutor for a year and have taken the three SAT tests, I can’t imagine your parents won’t pay for you to take a TOEFL. Prioritize what is important to you. Get a dictionary and start reading English newspapers and academic books. Try again in a year. There are many websites that give tips on how to improve English for the SAT, ACT and TOEFL. Many people say the TOEFL is easier than the SAT, and that if you can get a decent score on that, then you can submit lower SAT scores, but I don’t know how true that is.
Here is a tip too. Your English is like TV english, with “y’all” and text speak. That type of English will not help your scores. Reading what you write is like reading a cartoon script. Use proper grammar and punctuation. Good luck to you.
@Lindagaf babe, I’m not making excuses. I know what to do, I just don’t want to share my passions and dream here unless its private chat. Everyone is pinning down on me because I’m not showing any art works which I won’t yet since I’m starting small. But you know, being in the art industry is NOT EASY. NOT AN EXCUSE, NOT PERSONAL EITHER. Sorry caps, but yeah that’s the truth. I’m currently paying for my own TOEFL because yes, my parents are not paying for me anymore since I failed a lot. Now, doing 9-5 job is hard. I’m trying to freelance to earn money while pursuing my career. JOBS AND CAREER IS different. your senses are partially right. And please, this is forum, not an essay. If you wanna truly know who I am without getting any senses wrong, we can private chat. none of what I say is excuses, so I don’t get what you meant? if you’re in my shoes, bet you’d be frustrated to.
and yup, i agree. i’m doing toefl.
…