<p>My dad continues to shoot down every school that I bring to his mind. He has a prblem with every school. Too big. Too expensive. Classes are too large. No direct admit. Party school. I can continue to list his complaints. Any advice for a young man like myself?!?! </p>
<p>How can I convince my parents that a school is right for me? </p>
<p>Has he suggested any schools for you? Can you be a little more specific? Do your parents want to keep you closer to home than you’d like to be? Are they worried about finances, but reluctant to discuss the subject candidly with you (a very prevalent dilemma)? What sort of colleges are you interested in? </p>
<p>Ask him what he wants in a school and whether those qualities are necessities or just something he desires. If you can, point out some of those qualities in the school you are thinking of and some additional ones that make you passionate about that school. If he has very rigid qualifications, I think you will have a hard time finding a school that matches all those needs anyway. Is he still letting you apply to those schools? You could compromise and apply to both sets of schools or find one that has qualities that you and he both want. Good luck</p>
<p>Pay for it yourself and tell him to take a hike.</p>
<p>Chances are your father knows as little about colleges as most Dads. Could your father be one of these? If so, then something else is going on. Schedule a sit down with him when there will be no distractions, a weekend lunch perhaps, and explain to him your dilemma and listen to his response. Take into consideration his response, and then perhaps make a suggestion that he come up with 3 criteria he would like to see in a school you put on your list. Then go about finding schools that include those 3 and that you also like. There are 3500 colleges in the US. You two can find common ground, believe me. There’s just a tug of war going on about something related to your going to college. Work with him as if you were trying to become an adult. Behave respectfully and calmly. If he gets upset, try not to get upset yourself. If you find yourself wanting to speak rashly, excuse yourself to use the toilet. Treat him as a man, and behave yourself as an adult. </p>
<p>My D and I had never rumbled about anything before her making the college list, but we sure rumbled over choosing a college. Trust me, this is not just about college.</p>
<p>How can you convince them? Apply and wherever you get in, is right for you. </p>
<p>For a school where he thinks it is too big or classes are too large, could you show him for honors (if you are eligible) classes are smaller or for higher level classes they are a lot smaller. A university can be very large, but it doesn’t mean you won’t get personal attention. Both of my kids went (going) to a school with 13k+ UG students. They had their circle of friends and they received a lot of personal attention from their upper level professors. Another benefit of going to a large U is they offer a lot more programs for you to choose from and career recruitment tends to be better. So, there are a lot of benefits in going to a bigger U rather than a small LAC. He is correct to be concerned if a school is too expensive, but could the costs be lower if you could get merit? If he thinks a school is a party school, let him know there are always partyers every school, but it doesn’t mean YOU will.</p>
<p>There are some people who are just nay sayers. What you need to do is to do a thorough research on every school you want on your list and able to counter your dad whenever he raises an issue. Also, ask your dad to give you few schools he would like you to consider and add them to your list. This way he’ll need to do some work himself, instead of just saying no.</p>
<p>Ok…I sense fear. Your dad has fear. It may be rational; it may be irrational. </p>
<p>Sit him down and have a CALM conversation.</p>
<p>1) Ask him how much he can pay each year (this may be a huge fear for him…he may be shooting everything down because he fears that few/no schools will be affordable).</p>
<p>2) Ask him which schools sound good to him and WHY. (if he names some local commuter schools then likely he is concerned about money…and/or concerned that if you dorm you will party too much).</p>
<p>3) Explain to him that except for Bible colleges and BYU, every college is a party school…even the ivies and MIT. Whenever you get a group of 18-22 year olds together, they are going to socialize…and party. It what y’all do. </p>
<p>4) Explain to him that while you will participate in some socializing, you will behave responsibly and that you will not let your grades be affected. You can even promise that you will leave school if you cant live up to that promise.</p>
<p>5) Maybe you can make a deal with dad that your GPA has to be at least a 2.7 or 3.0 or whatever in order for you to continue at college (warning, if you would be an engineering major, even working hard a GPA can dip…so dont over promise)</p>
<p>So, give us more info…</p>
<p>What are your stats?</p>
<p>How much are the schools you are looking at?</p>
<p>Are they OOS publics?</p>
<p>How do you think costs will get paid?</p>
<p>What is your major and future career goal? </p>
<p>What is your home state?</p>
<p>Is your family low income? modest income? middle income (about 75kish)? upper-middle (100kish)? 150k+?
Does your family have a lot of debt or have a situation where this isnt extra money (high mortgage, medical bills, etc?)</p>
<p>lol…I see that you are looking at Bama. I am guessing your dad dismisses Bama as being a party school.</p>
<p>You have a 1300 now, and that gets you a half tuition award, and you know that if you bump that to a 1330 or 1400, you will get a LOT more money. (study, study)</p>
<p>also take the ACT</p>
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<p>If you do decide on engg or comp sci and you get a 1330 or 30 ACT, do you know that Bama would give you free tuition plus 2500 per year?? Your costs would be very low. </p>
<p>Has your dad visited any of these schools? I think that may also be an issue. It is easy to conjure up images in one’s head of an Animal House atmosphere where no one is behaving in a sane fashion and apply that to big schools, party schools, etc. If your dad actually visited and y’all met with faculty and the Honors College, you dad would be asking if he can enroll himself. </p>
<p>You left out an important part of the story.</p>
<p>What is your Dad’s agenda? </p>
<p>I think he left out a lot. What schools are on each list (yours and his)? What are your stats? What is your financial situation?</p>
<p>I echo the questions above. </p>
<p>Has your dad visited any colleges with you?</p>
<p>And if money is an issue – and it is for most families – are you looking at schools that are affordable for your family? Looking at colleges with guaranteed merit scholarships for your stats?</p>
<p>Unless you can pay your own way through college, you can’t ignore your parent’s opinion and hope any concerns will magically disappear. You need to sit down and talk. Discuss his concerns as well as what you hope to get out of college. Find out what schools he thinks are viable options. Ask him to visit schools with you so you can learn and come to conclusions together. His comments about schools that are too expensive are certainly valid and must be factored into your college search unless you can run through the price calculators together and see that the finances do work. </p>
<p>Thank you for all the advice</p>
<p>You have gotten a lot more questions than valuable advice because you haven’t posted enough details…</p>
<p>^^Exactly</p>
<p>:-h </p>
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<p>???</p>
<p>What advice?</p>
<p>@turtleneck7 </p>
<p>If you answer our questions, then we can actually give you meaningful advice. </p>
<p>You could try some reverse psychology. Find some new schools that you like, and request some info and brochures from them. Leave them laying around, and then offhandedly remark that none of them look very interesting. Perhaps that will make your dad love them! </p>