<p>I am so mad I don't know what to do. I've told them 5334543 times to stay out of it but they just can't step away for more than 10 hours. They're telling me where to apply, and if I don't have a certain essay due by THEIR deadline, they just write it. And I hate what they write, first of all they shouldn't even be writing my essays and their essays suck. I keep telling them not to, but they WON'T STOP. They keep saying if I want to write my essays I should, but it TAKES TIME to write a good essay. I'm working on my own, but apparently they can't wait that long and keep writing my essays for me. Two of my apps they already just submitted without even telling me. AKLFJASFJAS WHAT DO I DO HOW CAN THEY JUST STAY OUT IT'S MYYYY COLLEGE.</p>
<p>I would try to call the two colleges they’ve already submitted apps to and tell them they your application was completed and submitted without your knowledge or permission. What your parents are doing is NOT okay on any level.</p>
<p>What do I tell them though so this doesn’t happen again?!?! I understand their concern, but they’re not helping me at all!!</p>
<p>Be proactive. Get a calendar, and set up a spreadsheet, and lay out what you need to have done, and by when…list of schools, deadlines for each piece of application(s), etc</p>
<p>Then call a family meeting. Go over your plans with your family.</p>
<p>Post it in a prominent place. As you complete each item, indicate on calendar/spreadsheet–</p>
<p>This will keep you on track (your parents’ concern) and keep your parents off your back (your concern).</p>
<p>Are they submitting applications through your Common App account? If so, you can change the password on the account. If you think you need some intervention, you can schedule a meeting with your college counselor and your parents. It is normal for parents to be stressed at this time, but they should draw the line at actually creating any of your work product. I agree with the spreadsheet idea–maybe this will indicate to your parents that you’re on top of things. </p>
<p>A parent I knew last year went insane in this way - submitted apps for kid, etc. Kid got even by making his end-of-year thesis and public presentation on the topic of “helicopter parents.”</p>
<p>Any parent who would write and submit an essay for their child without their knowledge is probably not going to listen to any reasonable pleas for them to stop.</p>
<p>OP, you have my sympathy. What your parents are doing is wrong, plain and simple. They may have your best interests at heart, but nevertheless, they are wrong and are, quite frankly, setting a poor example. </p>
<p>For every school in which you are interested, establish your account immediately and DO NOT SHARE your password with your parents. </p>
<p>Good luck. You should be proud of yourself-some kids would be only too happy to let their parents do all the work for them (I have known a few who did).</p>
<p>Are they both equally bad (ie, can one of them be used to control the other?) And is there some part of this process that they can help with? </p>
<p>If you’re desperate, have them research scholarship possibilities (you generally apply for those in Feb-April), compare the study abroad options or your potential majors at the various schools that you are interested in - what the major requires, the breadth and depth of coursework in that area, class sizes, the pre-reqs, the research interests of the profs in your potential dept(s). Make it labor intensive and time consuming. If they are busy doing something that they think is helpful, perhaps they’ll have less time to meddle where they don’t belong? And maybe it will come in handy later when you have a choice to make.</p>
<p>I had a nice long response, as a parent, that wouldn’t post – so let me just summarize. </p>
<p>Your parents are likely intervening because they are worried about your future – they probably see that the college app process is nothing like it was when we were seniors, when we could apply to a few places and had a good shot at getting in where we wanted to go. </p>
<p>So, in response – show them that you have it covered, and give them tasks to help with (all of which I think others have already suggested). Set up the spreadsheet with due dates, testing requirements, essays etc, for each school. Have a deadline for each, track what is completed. If they see that, in fact, you are well-engaged and well-prepared, they can focus their energies elsewhere.</p>
<p>To keep them engaged in the process, ask for help on particular functions – can they research programs you are interested in, financial aid and scholarship info etc?</p>
<p>This is a mind-numbingly complex process if you are juggling lots of different apps. Throw in financial aid deadlines (which surprise you in January, just when you thought you could exhale), and it is a parents’ nightmare. </p>
<p>Good luck, and hang in there. This is a stressful time for seniors and their families – see if you can find some ways to include your parents so that you can share the experience rather than be adversaries in the process. They are likely painfully aware that this year is a year of “lasts” – last time they cheer for you at a sporting event or academic event, last formal dance etc. It is hard for parents to prepare to shift to being parents of college students rather than high school students, so recognize that they are likely anxious and confused as well.</p>