@twoinanddone yep, I think that’s the case.
The dream catcher is an interesting example. My (white, non-religious) daughter has one hanging in her room. I don’t think she’s ever considered it’s a religious symbol that means something to another group of people.
At any rate, I’ve talked to my husband (it’s his nephew by blood, mine by marriage) and he agreed that I should probably have a chat with him in a non-lecturing sort of way.
Really, I love this nephew like one of my own. His dad has been out of the picture for years (he was in prison for seven of those years) and his mom has had her hands full with a full-time job and his autistic brother. I step in when I can, flying out to MO help out when they need it, etc. And like I mentioned, he asks for my advice frequently and usually takes it.
Anyway, I’m leaving for MO today and we start our two-day drive tomorrow. Wish me luck and thank you everyone for your thoughtful advice!
Common sense and courtesy. Always.
There are still things one can inadvertently do to cause offense. For example, I had no idea that the word I thought was "jip " was actually “gyp” and an ethnic slur until Romanigypsyeyes told me. Saying “oh I am so sorry” with sincerity can solve much offense.
Agree I was well over 50 and also never knew that to jip someone was slur other than to mean the person was a crook.
I didn’t knew about gyp either until a couple years ago. Never saw it spelled.
Did you ever read the Seven Habits? I think treating like he is incompetent is the wrong way to go. Correct him as needed, if needed. If he is conservative (which does not mean racist, misogynist, potential rapist as you implied @Emsmom1 - actually that is a really offensive (the irony), try smaller government, personal responsibility…), he’d have to be exceptionally brave to have a vocal opinion on a college campus. He’ll find that out quickly enough. We’re tolerant about everything except ideas. If he is socially offensive/awkward or amoral ( which is not the definition of conservative), you won’t be able to correct that in a car ride. Bond with him as a person and he’ll turn to you as someone he can trust in time of need. As a conservative he’ll probably face quite a bit of microaggresion and need someone to turn to.
I find it ironic that you think your nephew needs your moral guidance when you currently have another thread wondering if it would be “silly” for your friend to actually pay $159 for a comforter a teen cashier didn’t charge her for or if it’s okay for her to keep it because it was the store’s error. I don’t really understand why you think that’s a “morally ambiguous” question, but when you talk to your nephew I’d try to keep in mind that we’re all fallible. College is a place where students are exposed to new ideas and beliefs. I’d just tell him to be open to it and to learn as much as he can.
His beliefs might change when he gets to college, too. D1 has a friend from their small PA LAC who came in as a frosh as a staunch conservative, and also had some pretty backwards views on women & minorities. By end of junior year he’d moved left politically, and D said he’d also figured out how to treat people respectfully. Still holding there 5 years after graduation.
@intparent Disrespectful behavior is never O’k. And that happens irregardless of political bent. People are just people. No one corners the market on sainthood. But Economic philosophies do tend to evolve throughout life based on experience.
The divisiveness of today’s climate is wrong. There is nothing wrong with people tackling problem and issues in different ways. Not every solution is right for every place. I think we could actually learn something if we listened to each other in a respectful way rather than disparage and label.
@austinmshauri And you know, that error might be taken out of the teen’s salary. Shame.
Kids aren’t stupid. He figure out that his aunt has no faith. Having to explain not to rape an unconscious girl, really? If he is that troubled, her husband should have addressed it with his sister many years ago.
Her post used the words “and also”.
In my experience, conservative political views and a very traditional and dated view on women and groups like minorities do often go hand in hand. All the time? Of course not but to pretend otherwise is just not being honest.
The latter is commonly described as “libertarian” these days.
“Conservative” could mean on social issues (e.g. those based on religion, race, and/or gender) or fiscal/economic issues or both. People are not always “conservative” (or not) on every issue, even within the broad groupings of issues (e.g. some religious conservatives may have conservative gender views, but find racism abhorrent, while some racists are not religious and do not have conservative gender views). However, it is common enough to be “conservative” on most or all of these issues that describing someone as “conservative” can connote that impression, even it is not accurate in the individual case. Obviously, this is annoying to “conservative” people who are not racist, sexist, or otherwise bigoted.
@doschicos I don’t disagree with your own worldview BUT America is a very large and diverse place. So simply being fiscally conservative would make you “right of center.” In liberal areas, the “conservatives” are actually more libertarian, socially liberal, fiscally conservative. You would be eaten alive if you expressed racist or sexist views. I’ve never even heard the expression “to jew me” or whatever that was. Just like all liberals aren’t communists (though that might not hold for the People’s Republic of Cambridge 
), all conservatives aren’t fiscally conservative AND socially conservative (which doesn’t have to mean racist, misogynist). The political spectrum is not simplistic. It is nuanced. I find this name calling intellectually lazy.
There are truly bigoted and hateful people in the world. I was walking with my children in the mall and had someone behind us yelling “I hate white people.” They were really scared. There is plenty of bad behavior to go around. Most people however, I think are good and they want the world to be a better place. I think it is fine if some people think going the way of Venezuela towards becoming an economic basketcase is wrong. And I think it is fine that some people want to provide safety nets. Both viewpoint are from people hoping for a better world. And they can balance each other if they don’t shut down conversation . A truly liberal POV allows for diversity which includes philosophies. Being Hateful is abhorrent from anyone and should be identified as such.
@ucbalumnus Libertarian. Got that. That’s the worldview of coastal “conservatives” and they are right of center which is why the intolerance in this conversation bothered me.
@austinmshauri oh, I know I’m fallible and I certainly don’t think my morals are perfect. I think I even mentioned that in the other post to which you’re referring. And I didn’t say my friend was justified- I said it made me feel “icky.”
I also didn’t say it was morally ambiguous; I was asking what people thought.
But back to this thread: @gearmom I don’t think my nephew would EVER rape an unconscious girl, for heaven’s sake. Where did you get that? I said he may not have considered the ramifications of messing around when they both are drunk. From what I’ve read (and I can provide links when I have the time), consent cannot be given by the girl if she is intoxicated, never mind if the male is intoxicated as well. I just want him to be aware of that.
@gearmom I also apologized previously in this thread for conflating (or seeming to conflate) conservative beliefs with misogyny, racism, etc. My nephew’s political leanings are one thing; his use of objectionable terms is another. He is entitled to his political views and it’s not my place to try to change his mind, even if I wanted to.
[Dons politics minor hat]
That crack about liberals would have been on point if we were in Canada or Western/Central Europe considering the US political spectrum is so far to the right in comparison that the average US left-leaning liberal would be considered a conservative in those areas even with the attempted rise of Fascist xenophobic movements in Europe.
There has also been a sad history here in the US of using Communism to perpetuate political witch hunts to settle old scores(1950’s era McCarthyism) and attempt to silence political protests and movements…including the Civil Rights, Women’s Rights, etc* back when they were being heavily resisted by conservative groups.
- J. Edgar Hoover's FBI strongly suspected MLK and other Civil Rights leaders of being "Communist" and kept a thick dossier on him during the '50s and '60s as a result.
And if one goes back to the early days of FDR in the '30s, some of his conservative opponents in Congress tried using the “communist label” to strongly oppose his New Deal policies…including ones we not take for granted such as Social Security or not too long after WWII, the implementation of the free/reduced price school meals program because they found the main reason for 25% of all men called up for the draft during WWII being rejected as unfit for military service was because of stunted growth and diseases arising from childhood malnutrition.
** I.e. The basis for strong conservative backlash against the Equal Rights Amendment(ERA) in the late '70s.
“though that might not hold for the People’s Republic of Cambridge”
" I think it is fine if some people think going the way of Venezuela towards becoming an economic basketcase is wrong. "
"That’s the worldview of coastal “conservatives” "
In your words, “I find this name calling intellectually lazy.” See what you did there? 
@ucbalumnus explained it better than me. I find the generalities, finding fault where none was intended, and stereotypes you post intellectually lazy.
@Emsmom1 Thank you for clarifying. Sometimes tone is tricky. You clearly care a great deal for him but as others mentioned he came across very poorly.
When I was in college a long time ago, I was at a leaders conference and I simply expressed an opinion that something should be privately funded rather than publicly. I was in tears by the end of our discussion. It was very vicious. I think diversity of opinion is important and something we need to strive to preserve and respect. We kind of lost our way on that front.
Neither party can give consent when drunk. Not legally by many definitions.
Yes, it plays out that the female is often the victim but that’s because many guys purposely try and get a woman as drunk as possible. It’s pretty rare the other way around.
Re: gyp/gypped I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that I’m being a sensitive snowflake for not appreciating my ancestry being turned into a slur.
Romani/Gypsies are one of the few remaining ethnicities where it’s socially acceptable to degrade, dress up as for Halloween, etc.
@Emsmom1 I think you should discuss with him that there are certain phrases words that can offend different people. He may not realize it’s offensive to say - that’s so “another word for happy”, because it could offend people in the LGBT community. This was the phrase one of my son’s debate novice teammates used. My son had to explain why it was offensive - this was really important because several teammates and two past presidents are members of the LGBT community. If the kid had kept saying things like that, he probably would have been ostracized. He wasn’t a “bad” kid - he just didn’t get it. Hopefully people will give your nephew the benefit of the doubt if it’s not “hate speech” but just ignorance of how something could be offensive. As for conservative views, my son attended the student only info session at a very liberal college and a conservative basically asked if he was going to be bullied. The answer was no as long as you have reasons or facts for your beliefs, people are open to discussion. So hopefully your nephew’s college will be the same.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Well, apparently a lot of users don’t understand the prohibition on political posts. I am closing this thread.