<p>For those of you who have gone through this how have the other siblings fared. My D leaves in a few days and her younger sister is having a real hard time. There is a 7 yr age span and they have had a love-hate relationship for years. But the reality is that the younger worships her sister and is taking it hard that her sister is leaving. She won't be coming on the move-in trip and will actually say goodbye to her sister tomorrow when the grandparents come to pick her up.
The 2 year younger brother doesn't even seem to be aware that his sister is leaving.</p>
<p>I am also worried about this. My two boys are two years apart and S2 recently commented that it was good he won't be taking Latin this year, as his brother won't be around to help w/ homework if he needed it (not that he would). I don't think S1 has an inkling how much his brother will miss him, but will make a point of letting him know how important it is that he stay in touch with S2, at the very least.</p>
<p>Make sure she has pictures around and make sure the older sister gives the younger her contact address (email, phone) herself. This usually makes a big difference to the younger sibling.</p>
<p>My S1 and S2, 2.5 years apart, have never spent as much time together as during the past two weeks. All of a sudden, they discovered brotherly bonding, and S1 learned that S2 isn't really as annoying to have around as he'd always believed, in fact, he's pretty funny and entertaining, and S1's friends don't have a problem with him. I'm seeing now that there is <em>so much</em> S2 could learn from S1, but hasn't had the chance (mostly because they went their separate ways the last few years). What I hope is that I'll be able to sense whether S2 is having any issues with his brother's departure: he's pretty hard to read sometimes.</p>
<p>well we just got back today
the girls have 8 years between them and with older D being home this past year- they have gotten very close.
The first night younger D stayed with us in hotel, after being over at their apt helping set up- then she stayed with D for two nights- helped her set up her room- made breakfast etc. Last night they even had the dog, her cat loving roommate said OK :)
School will be starting soon and younger Ds friends are back in town so that will help
We also are planning on going down for a long weekend in oct or nov.
It has helped teh girls a lot I think to be able to physically visit.
I would suggest that if possible visiting during family weekend or just a long weekend helps to see the sibs in their new place.
If that isn't possible a disposable or even digital camera so they can trade pics and have something for the walls may help bridge the gap.</p>
<p>Funny this came up - my son's best friend was talking this afternoon about his sister leaving for MIT this morning. The friend was definitely doing the happy dance about the departure of his very tormenting older sister. Must be easier when they are different genders. And possibly when the older is a girl.</p>
<p>Fireflyscout, I don't think it's the different genders or the older being the girl. Son who is pretty "cool" was really surprised at how upset he was when "Sissy" left last fall. They spent lots of time together this summer and the separation was easier this time. Although that could be because with her gone, he doesn't have to share the car!</p>
<p>Mom60, is it possible to send the younger to visit during her spring break? They don't often overlap and it could be a great time for just the two of them. That offer and plan helped our son to get through the separation, although the trip didn't happen anyway due his other conflicts. Also, try to have D1 call sometimes just to talk to D2. We also asked Son to help with ideas for the care packages and to help bake cookies, etc. Good luck.</p>
<p>I had a special situation. The girls are five years difference but the younger one has Down Syndrome and is close to the one that went to college. We thought it would be very difficult so shortly before she left, the wife and I sat the younger one down and went through a lengthy presentation of how her sister was going away and would be away for a long stretch of time, would return on occassion, but generally would not be around from day to day. The younger daughter took all this in without a word and we were not sure she was fully understanding the situation. When we were done, she sat there silently for a long time looking down on the floor. Then she looked up at us and smiled and asked, "Can I have her room?" That answered all of our concerns.</p>
<p>I agree, have something fun, exciting, or busy planned for the younger one. Little sis had 1st day of school the day her beloved older brother left, which worked very well.
The cell phone is a great way for them to keep in contact, also IM, etc.</p>
<p>wow....my sister can't wait to move into my room. Do I have a disfunctional family???</p>
<p>mom60, there's a few things you can do to help the younger sister cope. For one, set up a regular time when older D calls the family. If you have a speaker phone so much the better so everyone can talk, but even if not be sure little 'sis gets a chance to talk. You don't have to arrange the time now, wait until older D gets settled in and figures out what works in her schedule. Another thing is to have her sister send (or order online yourself) some kids-sized clothing with the college name on it to her; a sweatshirt, t-shirt, etc. Something she can wear to school or around home that makes her feel connected to her sis. College bookstores carry tons of this stuff -- clothing, pencils, cups, you name it and they've got it with a school logo on it.</p>
<p>Firefly, I don't think it's all about gender. My son, who is less than two years younger than his sister, is already mooning over his sister's departure next year. Says it's going to be awfully lonely in the house when she leaves. Last night, I overheard him telling her "We need to do lots of cool stuff together this year." And, she's already trying to convince him that her first choice school might be a very good fit for him as well.</p>
<p>mootmom:
I am seeing the exact same thing with my 2 sons, also 2.5 years apart. Suddenly they are haning out in each others rooms, playing video games together, and running out for food together. Funny, huh? They still each deny they will miss the other one though. (I don;t believe it.)</p>
<p>When my D1 left none of us, parents or siblings, were horribly saddened, as she had been miserable to be around and she was so ready to go. I did miss her, but I also felt the rightness of her being far away and having a chance to be independent. It was also very pleasing to see how much more she liked me & my opinion during move-in week at university vs. her utter disdain for it throughout grade 12!</p>
<p>D2 just moved into her dorm and D3 helped with the whole thing- their last hugs made me cry and D3 is missing D2, but the minute, I mean the very minute-after an 18 hour drive, D3 began moving into D2s room! So, she appears to be dealing well with it. She has mentioned several times missing her buddy and is going to email/mail and also wants to do a care package, so that's good, it makes you feel connected to send them stuff from home</p>
<p>My younger D really enjoyed when older D would send her cool postcards from college. It let her know that older sis still thought about her (and postcards don't require a lot of writing).</p>
<p>this thread got me thinking last night...i'm leaving on sat. from CA to NY and i'm going to miss my little sister so much :( [she's 6 years younger]...i always miss her more than my parents haha</p>
<p>Have similar situaton to Mootmom. Two boys 4 grades apart, vastly different personalities/interests. But they spent a lot of time this summer going through old toys, legos, knex, star wars, and worked together selling on eBay. Odd bonding experience, but made for a great summer. Now, however, we are paying the price. S & H left yesterday for cross country drive to college. Little B had unexpected reaction to the departure. It is sweet, but sad. I expected to be the basketcase, but am joined by younger S in our seperation anxiety. Who'd have thought!?!</p>