<p>Anyone have tips on how to deal with this? My oldest (twins) are seniors and will be off to college next year. Younger sibling (by 5 years) is very close to both. Twins went to Cornell Summer College this past June/July we all got a glimpse into the future -- our youngest was very sad without them and the whole house felt empty. Now youngest is anxious (and so are we) about living with that 'hole' for 5 years. It's one thing when you have a true empty nest and the parents can start anew, but this is a case where one child suddenly becomes an 'only'. Any tips on how to make the next year (and the twins' eventual departure and absence) more positive?</p>
<p>We are experiencing this in our household now. Our youngest is 7 yrs younger than our now college freshman daughter and 10 yrs younger than our oldest, who is a college junior. She is close to both, but we are actually managing just fine. She has started middle school and is pretty consumed by the huge increase in homework. she is a little lonely , but I have let her have some sleepovers and have agreed to host a slumber party next weekend. she commented to us the other day that it doesn't really seem so different when comared to last year when her sister was a very busy senior. She said she felt like she never saw her, between all of her studying , college applications, visits and all of the senior stuff.
We also will go up to visit both of her sisters in October, so there is something for her to look forward to.</p>
<p>Thank you, lje62, and good thought on schoolwork -- I forgot that the twins' original absence was in the summertime, and our youngest was not really 'busy' (ie, no camps, friends were away, etc.) So maybe the rigors of eighth grade (!) will keep her busy.</p>
<p>Just some thoughts:</p>
<p>How about imagining/creating care packages that she can send to her siblings?
Maybe you and she can take up an activity together--cooking class, cake decorating (sorry, it's the frosting thread).
Do you have a pet?</p>
<p>Next year you will have the opportunity to begin to truly focus on the only child. Ours felt like there was a spot light on her and was a bit uncomfortable with all the attention. Now she loves it. Her older siblings complain that the "baby" gets everything she wants and gets away with too much. Haha what can I say!!</p>
<p>When our oldest went to college last year, her brother who was then 8 was devastated because they are "in love." She was amazing about calling him and she set him up with an AIM before she left and kept appointments with him. It helped so much.</p>
<p>Interestingly, he had a writing portfolio in school last year with various assignments on various topics. Every single one pertained to his sister in some way.</p>
<p>Ditto mammall...
S1 & S2 are three years apart and also very close. Last fall when S1 left for college it was very difficult for S2 (and later in the fall a former teammate committed suicide, which made everything all that much more difficult, emotionally). We all just pulled together, got both of them text-messaging for their phones, ended up with a limited run with a good therapist, and a year later, S2 has really blossomed. Even school personnel who've known them both comment that S2 finally had a chance to get out of S1's shadow (because they are involved in some of the same activities). Perhaps time and some concentration on the youngest as an individual will also help your family.</p>
<p>and like zmom...S2 did write a lot about S1 during that first year for school assignments.</p>
<p>My youngest is six years younger then his brother and eight years younger then his sister. He has thrived as an only child. My husband and I do more things with him because we don't have to divide our attention, and he is more free to have friends over and explore new activities without sibling input. ie..."You want to do THAT? That activity is for losers!" It's been really nice getting to know our youngest better.</p>
<p>nice families; when I went off to college my parents came along to help with the move-in etc.. when they returned home, my little brother(5 years younger) had moved into my old room(which was slightly larger), put any momentos of my existence into a closet and basically took over the house. When my parents asked what he had done with my things, he responded "you mean the tall guy who used to live here? I always thought he was vastly over-rated!!"</p>
<p>It's a tough adjustment. Our youngest is just now 6, and while he copes pretty well with D's absence (she's a college junior), he's been telling us a lot lately that his brother (high school senior) is not allowed to go to college. </p>
<p>(And so far we've refrained from pointing out that if he doesn't do his APPLICATIONS, that may be the case! :D)</p>
<p>Video chat and IM help. I know that the older two spend a lot of late-night time chatting on IM. And H and I are relishing all the time we have to play with a 6-year-old.</p>
<p>lol hubellgardner!</p>
<p>These are encouraging stories! Son is 10 yrs (11 grades) older than (now 6 yo) daughter. It's breaking my heart to think how much she'll miss him next year when he goes away....!</p>
<p>Younger sister prepared notecards with sayings and movie quotes that were special between her and her older sister (three years apart), then hid these in older sister's dorm room as we were moving her in so that she would find mementos of their relationship at odd times (and potentially all year as some of the hiding places were extraordinary). This could work the other way, too, with the child who is going off to college leaving secret messages hidden at home for the "left behind" sibling to find.</p>
<p>My last child is only 4 years younger than the next-to-last, but that's enough so he was never in the HS at the same time and is essentially an only child for 4 years. (Whereas there was always an overlap of 2 to 3 years at the same HS for the older ones.)</p>
<p>I don't feel he actually misses his older sibs, but he has had to learn to create his own social groups, instead of being assimilated into big brother's. Not easy for him.</p>
<p>And I have to remember to make friends with a new set of parents, instead of always hanging with the ones we already know.</p>
<p>But this is nothing compared to people we know whose children are 10 or more years apart!</p>
<p>My sibs were all much older than me and after they left I hated the quiet of dinner with just my parents vs the excitement and activity of 3 "big kids" around. I noticed the same thing with my D3, when she was the last one at home she really tended to hang around with friends & BFs who had younger sibs and she spent a lot of time being with those noisy busy families.</p>
<p>The first term is the toughest as you are aware of the holes you need to fill. After that the baby does get more time and more attention and is treated more like an adult, the relationships adjust and it can be good.</p>
<p>DS is 4 years behind his older sisters (also twins Juniper). He has been thinking about the joys of being an only for a couple of years but in that time he has also grown much closer to his sisters. I anticipate some ambiguity when they actually leave and suspect he will miss them much more than he realizes.</p>
<p>Harriet, your S2 will be bereft w/ out his Rock Band Buddy! It may be time to strap on a guitar yourself ;)</p>
<p>Come out east and visit, historymom. We <em>will</em> need a fourth for Rock Band. We'll let you take the mic, if you ask nicely! :D</p>
<p>D1 left a month ago. We all miss her, but not desperately. D2, a junior, is on facebook daily to exchange news. This seems to take care of her needs. S, in junior high, is basking in lots more attention. We took a road trip to a big city to shop for a new musical instrument he was ready for and it was his idea of heaven on earth. In the days when 3 were at home, and barely driving, that trip couldn't have happened. The youngers find the silver lining...</p>
<p>Sometimes, for the child 'left behind,' a change of scenery does the trick: two friends let their younger kids redecorate their rooms. There was something about acknowledging that they too are growing up seemed to cheer them up - and disctract.</p>
<p>Our girls are 5 years apart, so when D1 went away to college we told D2 "Your sister had 5 years as an only child on the front end, and now you'll have 5 years as an only child on the back end."</p>
<p>Our youngest had his first year as the only one in the family at his elementary/middle school last year. He was famous for being the youngest of a family of five kids. He always had the security of a brother in the school. It was a tough go for him at first. This year, there are only the high schooler and him at home, and our house is ever so quiet. It is a big difference from last year when all but one of the boys were here and we had the two grandmoms as well. He has told me how lonely he feels. It did not help that we lost our two cats and a dog as well.</p>