Hey does anyone mind grading my essay??

<p>Prompt: What motivates people to change?</p>

<p>People are oft to change when malevolence belittles people in their pursuit of happiness. Such the case can be seen in both my personal experience and during the 1830s, the time of the Great Migration.</p>

<p>Everyday I would arrive to class very late, not only would this hurt myself but also my teacher who must finish monotonous work because of me. My teacher, Mr. Blenger, would always hastily choose me as his so called "victim" to answer question. He knew that because of my tardiness I would be dumbfounded to these questions. Day after day these traumatizing experiences of the class ridiculing me for remaining silent when asked a question forced me to change. I no longer could tolerate Mr. Blenger's malevolent power as a teacher; something had to be done. From then on I would set my alarm clock ten minutes earlier, not take 15 minute showers, and not cook a go gourmet omlet for breakfast. No, from now on everything changes, I would prove to that power hungry teacher, I'm ready and prepared. Soon for one week I was able to evasively arrive to class on time and swiftly answer questions before Mr. Blenger could finish his sentence. Mr. Blenger was in complete awe of my metamorphosis, and soon after he began to torture another "victim." </p>

<p>Similarly during the 1830s, a Great Migration took place. A plethora of people from both Ireland and Germany departed to the young United States for the pursuit of happiness. Why did millions decide to leave? In Ireland there was a potato famine, people were starving, nonetheless it was also overpopulated. Similarly in Germany, it too was overpopulated, but also had malevolent government dictating their rules. Both of these countries were under a steadfast state of misery. It was nearly impossible for the residents to survive in their old countries. The Germans and the Irish are now offered with food and shelter in America. The promise for also being offered a stable currency which would soon thrive was another reason to change for the people. </p>

<p>In both situations whether it be a single individual or a large ecosystem of people, both desire to change for better lives. They want change from malevolent rulers to benevolent ones who will take care of them better.</p>

<p>Note: My personal experience example was made up, all a lie.</p>

<p>I'd give it a 8 out of 12</p>

<p>any reason why, and how I could improve?</p>

<p>Your essay is a little too wordy and some of the vocabulary seems awkward (there are some idiomatic errors). Also, your conclusion needs to be stronger. </p>

<p>Anhtimmy's score seems accurate to me.</p>