<p>Topic: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>
<p>Throughout history and literature we witness individuals who are examples for us today. These beacons of light accomplished amazing feats and stood tall in the face of society for primarily one reason: they were motivated by their conscience. </p>
<p>In To Kill a Mockingbird Atticus Finch agrees to defend a black man accused of rape: a very controversial case. The townspeople, steeped in prejudice, warn him and advise him to leave the case. Atticus even has to confront a mob and nearly escapes death. Yet he does not give up the case.</p>
<p>Atticus continues to represent Tom Robertson, the accused, though he fully realizes that his chances of winning are about zero. If he were a man motivated by fame or power, he would have withdrawn the case to preserve his standing in front of the people. But Atticus was motivated by his conscience. He could not let an innocent man be accused of rape and not do anything. It would be far easier for him to sit back, but Atticus knew that he would not be able to sleep at night if he did nothing. </p>
<p>Since he was driven by his sense of justice, Atticus faced the entire racist town and survived. Though he did not win the case in the end and Tom Robertson died trying to escape, Atticus emerged as a role-model for his children. a man with</p>
<p>Men who are motivated by strong beliefs and ideals are much more firm than those with selfish motives. Atticus clearly illustrates that.</p>
<p>5/12. Your control of language is fine but your argument needs to be tighter and more detailed, especially towards the end where you seem to lose focus and coherency.</p>
<p>The main difficulty with your essay is its length. In general, if you write coherently and grammatically–as you do–you will score higher with a longer essay (CB’s protestations to the contrary notwithstanding). If you had a second similar example to offer, that would make the essay about the right length. Also, then you could add one more sentence to your final paragraph, which would strengthen it.</p>
<p>Thanks for your input, QuantMech. I appreciate it. I agree with your comments wand will try my best to improve. </p>
<p>I believe I should point out that I wrote this essay in 20 minutes. But obviously that should be no excuse for coming up with such a lackluster essay.</p>
<p>Thanks a lot, again. Will write a new essay soon and looking forward for your comments in the future.</p>
<p>Taken from CB: People make better observations, discoveries and decisions when they are neutral and impartial to a subject while keeping an open mind.
Better observations are made a point of view is complete and unskiewed. An observer with a complete view can see the whole picture and not leave any aspects out of the drawn conclusion. A skiewed view allows the observer to see the side of a subject that they want to see which can have misleading side effects.
More discoveries are made when people keep an open mind. If Columbus said no this isn’t India, and went home to try again, then he wouldn’t have discovered America. When people fail at a task, they often find something they weren’t looking for, which may be greater than the original task.
Effective decisions are made when leaders look at the whole picture and see an issue from all sides. By seeing different perspectives it is easier to predict accurate reactions to the decision. A close minded leader may make a decision that would help him/herself or one group of people but ignore the needs of many others. A good decision supports as many people as possible.
In conclusion, observations, discoveries, and decisions should be made with a complete view, an open mind and many different perspectives on a topic. </p>
<p>This is a 3/6 essay, making the total score 6/12. Compare OP’s essay and this one and tell me how his/her essay actually scored lower than CB’s.</p>