<p>Yes, she has friends, that, fortunately, is not an issue. I covered that in an earlier post.</p>
<p>EEK --- I would never send my daughter off with a scale! I consider them evil. I used to weigh myself every day. I finally threw out my scale, began eating properly & exercising often ... and lo & behold, I lost 3 dress sizes. My daughter has never been weighed anywhere but in the doctor's office. </p>
<p>I am almost 50 now, and I struggle a bit more with keeping a "good" weight. However, I know very well how well I have been eating, how much I have been exercising, and whether or not my clothes fit properly. No scale needed. I find it makes me focus on the wrong things.</p>
<p>If you feel the need to address a child's weight gain, please be sure to keep away from actually addressing it! Focus instead on the importance of keeping healthy. Everything else comes from that.</p>
<p>Kelsmom, I agree. If the OP focuses on health, she can talk about the need for boosting the D's immune system: encourage lots of anti-oxident rich foods, send her off with a collander so she can wash fresh fruit & vegies for snacks, an electric kettle & oatmeal packets, etc.</p>
<p>HSN is absolutely right in mentioning the sometimes fine line between putting on weight (or losing it) because of a change in lifestyle, and something serious lurking behind.
Sometimes just a visit to the family doctor for a routine check-up can work wonders My experience with D1 was not weight, but a very severe outbreak of zits. When I went to visit her last year in Chicago, I was appalled at the way she looked, and realized immediately something was very wrong. I gave her ample opportunity to talk about it, but was treated to the “everything is perfect except the weather” number. It turned out that she was going through severe depression. When she came back, the zits were, if anything worse. So was the depression despite treatment and therapy. She absolutely refused to do anything about them, although every second sentence was a complaint about this person or that who had commented on the state of her skin, and how atrociously shallow and rude people are (true,by the way). Finally, it was her GP who saved the day. He took one look at her, asked her what she thought she was playing at, and put her on Roaccutane (may have a different name in the States). She cried for three days, but did what she was told. A month later, the skin situation has already improved immensely, and she is on the road to regaining some of her lost self-confidence. I’m simplifying a long,complex story, but my point is that feeling physically inadequate often multiplies depression, which leads to a vicious circle. In this case, she needed both the natural authority of the doctor and the non-emotional relationship to break the pattern. If the Ops daughter is still putting on weight at Xmas, I would get her a doctor’s appointment without mentioning anything specific, and let him tell her what she needs to know and do.</p>
<p>Off-Topic</p>
<p>LIT, if Roaccutane is the same as Accutane someone in the States stands about the same chance of having their GP prescribe a pipe-bomb. Dermatologist maybe. But not a GP. Don't get me wrong, I think it is a wonderful drug that made my D's high school years infinitely better than they would have been. It's just becoming increasingly difficult to have it prescribed. And even when D took it (two courses) there were all sorts of hoops, papers to sign, mandatory counseling, pregnancy tests, birth control. At least in the medical center nearest us. By the way, now she gets occasional monthly T-zone outbreaks but nothing that's not controllable OTC.</p>
<p>Curmudgeon, In France, same mandatory tests and papers but it can be prescribed by GP. In any case, i was just using this as an illustration of how a professional outsider can be more helpful than family, as OP is worried about weight and not acne.</p>
<p>(Agreed LIT, I was just making sure. ;))</p>
<p>Curmudgeon, just wondering if your D was started on less drastic meds, before the Accutane? Usually it's for resistant acne. It's a WONDERFUL drug IMHO. Severely bad skin can be life-altering; sapping confidence, changing the way others relate to you. I was blessed with good skin, but my best friend clearly suffered with acne that never responded to treatment. Accutane was the miracle, but it wasn't around until her adult years. As a 50 year old, you can still see the damage done to her skin.</p>
<p>As an attorney, you can imagine the liability the drug carries....</p>
<p>SS, I'll p.m..</p>
<p>Re Accutane (which my son took, and which had wonderful and lasting effects on his formerly horrible acne):</p>
<p>One thing that you need to know is that Accutane can change your skin forever, especially on your lips. My son has had lasting difficulties with chapped and cracking lips, both during Accutane treatment three years ago and in the time since then. He considers this a minor issue, far preferable to the acne, but for other people -- such as those who play wind instruments -- it could be a disaster.</p>
<p>I mention this because there's so much fuss about Accutane and birth defects that the more mundane side effects tend to be overlooked.</p>
<p>We may be getting off track here. However I'd be grateful on any imput on the consequences of (Ro)Accutane. Should we start a new thread in Parents' Caf</p>
<p>This past week my D has been diagnosed with mono. She apparently has had it for several weeks, if not longer. While this doesn't explain everything, it certainly does explain the extreme lethargy she exhibited over Thanksgiving and the weeks leading up to it. It may also in part explain the depressed behavior. She has a severe case according to both her symptoms and the bloodwork and will be coming home early and finishing up her finals at a later date. I have to say her school is being very understanding and I'm hoping she'll be able to fully recover over what will now be a long break. Although this doesn't make all the issues immediately disappear, it does put them in at least a slightly different light and I plan on using the next several weeks as she gets stronger as an opportunity to really help her look at what happened this semester. I do believe much of it could be physical, as she sort of slid from a bad and long sinus infection into mono. We'll just have to see...</p>
<p>I am willing to bet that the mono was very much to blame for things. Physical health is important to mental health, and the bad stuff just snowballs. I am so glad she was diagnosed! Although being ill is not a good thing, in this case it actually might be. It can be fixed with medicine & time. I am willing to bet the rest of it will fall into place as her body heals. Hugs & best wishes to your D and to you!</p>
<p>Mono may also explain her eating habits. I got mono in my early 20's, and I remember that for a while almost all food was disgusting to me. I survived on sardines and cottage cheese. Why I could eat those things and nothing else is still a mystery.</p>
<p>I had a bad case, and it took a full year before I was back to my more-or-less normal self. I was very susceptible to colds, vaginal infections, etc. during that year of recovery. However I may have developed Hashimoto's Thyroiditis at that time (it wasn't diagnosed until much, much later); if so, that might explain why it took me so long to get better.</p>
<p>I hope that your daughter will recover quickly and will enjoy college much more when she's healthy!</p>
<p>wow..your poor kid. I am not going to re-read the whole thread but my son got mono freshman year and he was diagnosed immediately (He is very high maintenance and tends to go to doctors without delay thank god) and his doc made a wild guess and the blood work was positive although he had only felt badly for about 48 hours....so he was immediately on rest, fluids, etc.
Even so, after he recovered most of his way back, he blew it by returning to his social life and studies and he truly found he could not learn well for many weeks. His sleep was disordered from the bed rest initially ordered...he couldn't sleep or learn with acuity either. He dropped a class he was passing (but badly) and cut his losses there and finished all the other classes. He did take all responsibility with academic deans and asking to be reviewed for approval...this is a kid who never quit anything in his life. He retook the course and we ate the money. The second time around he learned all the material with ease.
My sympathies to all of you for the fretting and the wondering and her struggles. Be very very supportive and upbeat..as this is a life passage that has good lessons in it for her. Do encourage her to accept whatever extensions/redos are offered to her.</p>
<p>Re Accutane..ditto a positive experience with long term excellent results in our household. Although during the rounds..there was chapping on the face and excessive dryness. All resolved now and skin is amazingly better. I tend to suggest to peer parents to consider getting the accutane done in high school when parents can keep an eye on things and not when they are far away adapting to a wide new world with many ups and downs.</p>
<p>One of D2's friends was diagnosed over Thanksgiving, and tried to return to school, but only lasted a few days. Her dad had to come pick her up and take her home, also scheduling finals for a later time. Of course, now that she's at home and feeling a bit better, she's upset that she's not at school with her friends before the long break. Oh, well.</p>
<p>OP, you said the mono may in part explain her depression. I'd say it's a done deal. When you don't feel good physically for that long of time, it's expected to get depressed. Who do you know that can be sick for that long, and not get depressed about it? Not many. The key will be whether or not, once she starts feeling better, the depression lifts. My bet is that it will... she will be so happy to feel better and get on with her life that her mood will be lifted. However, as much as you can, dissuade her from jumping back into things too quickly - the last thing she needs is a relapse.</p>
<p>But I'll bet you're on the upswing of this now.</p>