<p>Please teach this newbie mom all there is to know about homecoming.
I only have till this Saturday!</p>
<p>Both H and I grew up overseas so this Homecoming tradition is new to us.
Son is a sophomore. He is going with a friend from crew, she is a freshman.</p>
<p>One thing that I already found out about the traditions at his school, is that you ask the girl in a funny, non direct way. Since they are both in crew his friends helped him put out posters on the bridge, so the girl passing by in a boat would get the message. It worked.</p>
<p>I understand that there are regional differences (already heard about texas mums :) )as well as differences between schools. He is going to find out tons of info today at school (I hope!), but time is of essence here and I am feeling a little out of my league.</p>
<p>Apparently the girl needs to be presented with a corsage that somehow matches the dress, the boy should have a tie that matches the dress. Entire group is to meet for dinner at a restaurant and then proceed onto the dance.
My questions:
who pays for what, or is the boy expected to cover everything?
who drives them, they are only sophomores?
should he ask their parents for a permission to take her, we do not know them, live in a totally different city ?
The group of kids that is going together lives fairly close to each other apart from my son - we are a good 35 miles away! Is it expected that he will pick the girl up from the house and then delivers her back (with either I or DH driving of course)?
So many questions, so little time.</p>
<p>I can only vouch for what happens here. Corsages match the dress. Only “serious” couples match dresses to ties. Boys pay for everything and arrange transportation, if they did the asking. When my son goes to dances at his GF’s all-girls school, she pays for everything and arranges rides. No need to ask parents for permission, however our school does require a permission form when guests are from another school. The form must be signed by a parent and by the guest’s school principal. The principal must vouch that the student is “in good standing.”</p>
<p>At our school Homecoming is not always a “couples” thing. </p>
<p>Last year my son did go as a “couple.” Since both attended the school, they split the cost of the tickets (fairly cheap since it is held on school property). Though, I subscribe to the “whoever asked should pay” school of thought.</p>
<p>I asked son to discuss driving arrangements & I also asked his permission to contact the other mom to finalize arrangements. We lived about 40 minutes apart. End result was that He (and my husband) picked up girl and delivered to dance. Her family drove him home. 3 other couples – Some other boys crashed overnight with classmates who lived closest to school while the girls’ arranged for 1 parent of all 3 to drive them home.</p>
<p>Couples do not match dress at our school.</p>
<p>In our area, coursages vary by school with half not buying coursages for dates.</p>
<p>As the mom, the whole corsage thing will become your issue. Most girls these days wear WRIST corsages (not the ones pinned on the dress). Have your son check with the girl or even with his guy friends to find out which to get. If he wants you to order a certain color flower then see if the girl can take a pix with her cell phone and send it to your son. </p>
<p>In our area, the kids all meet at someone’s house before the dinner and all the parents gather to take pictures. For whatever reason the past two years almost every boy seemed to wear black dress pants and a black shirt with a tie matching the girls dress.</p>
<p>With our S2 it helped to settle his nerves by going on the restaurant website and previewing the menu.</p>
<p>Having a son who just finished HS means I was the one dealing with corsages. I discovered by his senior year that if I just order white flowers (usually rosebuds) with the school colors as trim (netting and beads) that most girls liked that combo. </p>
<p>For his girlfriends I would skip the rather expensive cheap bracelet (rhinestone and elastic) the florist offers for the corsage. I would go to Kohl’s and get a pretty crystal bracelet for about the same price. Those were always a hit.</p>
<p>In my area (NW Indiana) the boy gets the flowers, pays for the food and arranges transportation. We parents normally take each of our kids to a set spot (one parents house) for pictures of the group. From there, we provide transportation in teams. Most of the time, the kids will combine with sleepovers (not coed), after-party fun, so it is not necessary to take a group back, just to know where your kid ends up safe and sound (and that you approve of the arrangement). If this was prom, I would add the extra stress of hiring limos and the transportation to the entire weekends activities. You have a year to worry about that, though.</p>
<p>In our area (so cal) the boy gets a tie to match the girls dress. Boy and girl figure out together corsage/boutineer (generally the boy pays for the corsage and the girl pays for the boutineer, although sometimes one or the other will pay for the flowers and the other the pictures). Boy pays for dance tickets (girls pay for Winter Formal tickets where it is girl ask boy) and girl pays for dinner if they go out to dinner (better when they go with a group to someones house for dinner). The whole group meets at a house prior to for the parents to take pictures. Rides are usually worked out by the kids with one parent dropping off and another picking up. And it seems the past few years that the boys liked to wear black pants and black shirts to Homecoming. Although last year one boy wore a red shirt that matched his date’s red dress that looked nice. The younger boys often just wear their tennis shoes but by the time they are seniors they often wear dress shoes.</p>
<p>My son’s homecoming was last week and it’s a bit more casual then prom. A lot of kids go without dates. I’m not sure if my son paid for his ticket and his girlfriends or just his. I forgot to ask. If kids are not old enough to drive then parents take them to and from, doesn’t matter which parents do what. This year son bought his GF a nosegay instead of the wrist corsage and she liked that better. She had it for the pictures and then just laid it on the table when they danced. They do usually do the matching tie to the dress but that’s not a must-have. There’s enough food at the dance that most of the kids just eat there. As someone said further up, I think this varies quite a bit regionally. Our homecoming dances are much less formal then prom. Lot’s of guys don’t wear jackets (no boutineer) and the girls dresses are often short instead of long.</p>
<p>This is so interesting to read about homecoming in other parts of the country. For those of you interested in the infamous Texas homecoming mum, I suggest you google it. You will be amazed! Yes, I just ordered my son’s date’s mum this afternoon - $62.00 for the tackiest thing you will ever see! A Texas tradition that just gets bigger and better every year! Our homecoming starts on Fri with parade, football game, followed by bonfire. Then on Sat, the kids go out to dinner and then to the dance at the school gym. After parties range from sleep-overs to IHOP. My favorite part is Friday - the whole town turns out for the parade!</p>
<p>Just had Homecoming at D’s school. The boys ask the girls in a fun way. Some make posters and others give flowers etc. Boys pay for the tickets to the dance and also for dinner. D is a senior and they decided to make dinner for the boys this year. Usually the boys and girls exchange corsage and boutineer. Again, D and her date decided not to spend the extra $$ this year. Girls pay for pictures taken at the dance. The girls always meet at a girls house and get ready for the dance together. The boys meet up with the girls at the house or park or somewhere nice and the parents take pictures. Parents drive the kids if the kids don’t have a license and after the dance there is a party or IHOP and the girls spend the night and another girls house. It is actually lots of fun!</p>
<p>At our h.s. the kids do not do corsages but at daughter’s h.s. boyfriend’s school only 5 miles away, the girls all receive corsages from their dates. This really varies by school.</p>
<p>The matching tie thing is just because it might look better in pictures than, say, a girl in a purple dress and a boy in a red tie. Don’t sweat it as long as the tie is fairly neutral / generic in color and won’t overtly clash (like my purple / red example). It’s a little twee to get too matchy-matchy.</p>
<p>Any floral store should be able to help you with the corsage (agree == ask the girl if she prefers wrist, pin-on or a nosegay to hold) and it’s the girl’s job to get the boy a boutonniere in return.</p>
<p>We are in So. Cal. on the coast and homecoming here is pretty casual. Most of the kids go in big groups and a lot of kids go without dates. Usually they all meet at someone’s house for pictures and then go out to a fairly inexpensive dinner somewhere. Everyone seems to pay for their own tickets and dinners, or someone will fix dinner for the kids. Girls wear short dresses. Boys do sometimes buy corsages, but small ones. As someone else posted, this does seem to be the year of black shirts and pants for the boys with a tie matching the girl’s dress if going as a couple. My son also requested a purple vest along with his purple tie. Not what I would have chosen, but oh well. He has not yet admitted he is going with a girl (they are going in a group) but I have heard from my spies that he is. When he told me he wanted a purple tie and vest I casually said “oh, that will look nice, I didn’t realize you liked purple.” He replied “yeah Mom- I have always liked purple. I guess you just didn’t notice”. Yeah- right!!!</p>
<p>LOL!! Beat ya!!! The mum DS ordered (with the help of his date’s friends) cost $120!!! </p>
<p>Note…I was out of town when he did this and he didn’t bother to run this past DH!!! But, he is a senior and he has never gone to Homecoming before - so, if I consider what he has “saved” me the past few years…I can deal with it!!! Besides, the Band Moms make the mums and the profits go to the band (near and dear to my heart) - so that makes it extra okay!</p>
<p>At some point, someone in Texas will start the pendulum back toward actual mum corsages… I was stunned by what my D1 and friends did, but now everything is indeed bigger and glitzy-er. The front mum has to have a counterbalance in the back. Lights, noise, feathers, it’s really strange.</p>
<p>My first thought when I read this:
“Yes, I just ordered my son’s date’s mum this afternoon - $62.00 for the tackiest thing you will ever see! A Texas tradition that just gets bigger and better every year!”</p>
<p>… was that of a plus-sized Texas woman (mum, aka mom) who just gets bigger and better and glitzier every year. </p>
<p>Okay, stupid, I know, but it made me laugh.</p>
<p>At my kids’ school, the asker for the 2 formal dances - one a girls’ choice and one boys’ - pays for tickets, dinner and a flower, plus arranges for the ride. Askee pays for the photos at the dance.</p>