<p>I thought college was going to be great. I worked so hard to get here, but I've been here almost two weeks and it's not like I imagined it would be.</p>
<p>I've had difficulty making friends. Not meeting people--I'm friendly with most of the people on my floor, but most of them go out partying and come back drunk on the weekends, which is not what I'm into. In particular, my roommate has come back drunk a few times, and it really bothers me. She stumbles into the room, wakes me up, and keeps me awake with her weird, drunken-stupor noises. Also, she's messy and basically the opposite of what I wanted in a roommate.</p>
<p>The other people that are on my floor are pretty boring. I want to find people that want to go out, but at a large university in a city, I don't exactly know how to find people.
I've gone to a few club meetings, but I haven't connected with anyone. I haven't really talked to people in my classes either, but I'm not sure how to do that, because during class you can't exactly talk to people, and afterward people disperse, and sometimes I don't have time to linger because I have to run off to my next class.</p>
<p>I didn't think I was going to miss my family or my home, but I miss it a lot. I miss being able to just hang out without always having people around, but at the same time, I feel very lonely. I miss my dogs and my mom and siblings.</p>
<p>I haven't really found anyone else that I've been able to connect with.
I don't know where to go from here, because I feel like a lot of people already have groups of friends they hang out with.</p>
<p>Does anyone have any advice? How can I stop feeling so sad when I'm at a school that I was so excited to go to?</p>
<p>Ok, first off, did you ever go to sleep away camp or such similar activities when you were younger? If you did, you must have adjusted, right? If you didn’t, I can understand why this would be tough for you, but believe me when I say “This will get better.” Now, do you have a campus job? If not, consider getting one. When you work with people, you will gradually strike up conversations during quiet times, etc, and get to know people. The other ways are to work out at the fitness center, take a Zumba class or something like that. Again, you will meet people in a somewhat relaxed atmosphere, when people aren’t studying, running class to class, or thinking hard! Exercising will also help you manage your stress during this transition time. Lastly, try meeting people during meals. Lunch time. If you’re at a table, be open to having people plop near you. If you see a few people you know, ask if you can sit with them. If you had an easy time developing friendships during middle and high school, you may find this IS hard. At home, everyone grows up in the same atmosphere, and you had years and years of being around the same people. College is different, but you might as well learn this skill. After all, you’ll have grad school later, or move for a job, or transfer for another job, and some adults move lots of times and have to make new friends everywhere they go!
If you don’t like the drinking scene, check to see if your school has “wellness housing” or substance free housing. Are there any rooms/beds available? Keep getting involved in clubs. Look for a group that goes to animal shelters if you like animals, or a group that just sounds new and interesting. Get to know upper classmen - they liked the school enough to return, so they can help you see the promise of the place and get over homesickness easier than fellow freshmen who are also missing home! Of course you miss home…I miss my loved ones too. So, pick up the phone, or skype or something! You will realize all this technology IS really great for staying in touch! (I didn’t even have a computer or a cell phone during college!) Give yourself time, talk to your RA in the dorm for suggestions on how to deal with your roommate, and be approachable. Smile, relax, and don’t be afraid to say “hello” first…! Good luck!</p>