<p>iris24,
There seems to be a trend among smart and talented kids we know to feel that there is nothing college can teach them. They get substantial scholarships to top schools and drop out after 1 or 2 semesters.</p>
<p>My D was under the influence of one of these kids her senior year of HS and we were fearful she wouldn't even bother to try college...thankfully she did and is really loving it. Maybe, although it seems unimaginable to turn down an Ivy, she would be happier at a school that suited her personality, like a LAC (Bard, New College, Reed).</p>
<p>I took a semester off from college to work at a large corporation. Nothing drove me back to college faster than the experience of having a data processing job in a cubicle. Maybe you could try a dose of reality with her? Tell her she needs to get a job with the education she has and try surviving in the real world for awhile...not to rely on being published as a best selling author (which hopefully she will be). One thing I have observed about the smart & talented kids that dropped out of college is that they are living at home or with friends and not working steady, "real life" jobs. I would definitely not make it possible for her to finance any more bike trips until she gets back to a college of some kind.</p>
<p>iris: I ran into the Dad of a friend of my Ds. He told me about his son who had bounced from AZ to home a couple of times. What finally got him back on track (though I don't really think he was ever "off") was several months on the Appalachian Trail. He blogged the whole time, kept a diary, took photos and now is working on the book for which he has received an advance! </p>
<p>Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT a freight train.</p>
<p>Iris, I've known kids like yours, too, and many of them do find their own path. It's not arrogance as it's been described here ("college can't teach them anything"), but a questioning of the whole system, their own values, what they want to do with their lives. What works best for them.</p>
<p>My D liked college (after a transfer) and graduated, but, like your older child, is working in something (environmental advocacy) which does not require a degree. But she is self-supporting (because she's extremely frugal and can live on a pittance) and she's happy.</p>
<p>There's time for a smart, thinking young man or woman to find out his/her own path--it may not be where she is now, but college does not have an expiration date. The bike trip sounds great--I agree with the statement that she should be keeping a journal/blog on it.</p>
<p>
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If, in high school, they had lovely girls and boys walking by their front doors and under their windows at all hours, laughing merrily, they might all wake up a bit sooner. Here's to changing patterns and new discoveries!
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ROFL! Too true. My son hadn't been in his room more than an hour when a cute freshman girl also in computer science wandered into his room saying "I'm baking brownies."</p>
<p>Igglesgirl has established her post as controller of the remote in the common room for the Philly football games - I think the homemade brownies and cookies I send up contribute to the comeraderie. They've already pulled some all-nighters and I hear the 2 am dance parties in the studio are awesome. Sounds like she's got it under control and having a great time. I'm looking forward to seeing her this weekend (fall break).</p>
<p>Your post sent chills, Iris. A writer? Who doesn't want to spend four years pondering writers of the past, writers from other corners of the globe? Woo boy. That is hubris ++.</p>
<p>I have one who doesn't need college in order to make a living. Since he discovered that fact as a 17 year old, he's made noises about getting to his entreprenuerial life ASAP, dumping college.</p>
<p>From my perspective, ther is plenty of time to WORK in adult life. Plenty. I went to the mat for that college experience--and I am at the ready to give it a wrestle again. For one thing, the thought of him evolving into adulthood with his current 18 year old understanding of humanity...well...the thought is too sad. I well understand your worries. My fingers will be crossed for the next three and half years.</p>
<p>^ "Your post sent chills, Iris. A writer? Who doesn't want to spend four years pondering writers of the past, writers from other corners of the globe? Woo boy. That is hubris ++."</p>
<p>Indeed. I'd love to drop out of life and ride my bike across country right about now. (Who wouldn't I wonder.)</p>
<p>"There seems to be a trend among smart and talented kids we know to feel that there is nothing college can teach them. They get substantial scholarships to top schools and drop out after 1 or 2 semesters."</p>
<p>The above describes exactly what older S did.</p>
<p>" "Your post sent chills, Iris. A writer? Who doesn't want to spend four years pondering writers of the past, writers from other corners of the globe? Woo boy. That is hubris ++."</p>
<p>Older S is a very talented writer with that kind of hubris. He is working an ordinary job and for fun trying to read all of the great books. Frankly, he is reading books that most college students would read only if they were forced to.</p>
<p>I know mature adults who are acclaimed authors who dropped out of college when they were young, too, and did things like bum around the country before they wised up that they could learn from attending college. Two such friends became college professors. :)</p>
<p>I don't know that there really is one way, the only right way, to become a writer, and i don't know a better time than when one is young to take a long bike trip. As long as a person can find a way to make it work, more power to her.</p>
<p>And ya know? you can read the great writers of the past and around the gobe without being in college. I really, really don't see the hubris here.</p>
<p>I think the worst thing is for someone to be there and not know why. That seems to me to be the true waste. Frankly I'm a little surprised by the whiff of judgmentalism in some of these posts.</p>
<p>My bad. How I understand itchy feet! Once upon a time, I took a year off to earn tuition--and read Melville, Sartre and Dante on a line by line basis with a Hegel scholar. </p>
<p>Hubris isn't a sin in my catalogue of creative lives, it's darn near a requirement. Eighteen year olds CAN indeed read difficult texts-- but understanding the depths of that reading by studying under a brilliant scholar? Incomparable. Thrown over as a last, last resort.</p>
<p>There are western societies which cleave themselves to the notion that college doesn't matter. Result? Profound anti-intellectualism among even the educated classes. So yeah, I'm not a fan of ambivalence when it comes to college. That's a personal judgement based on wide experience.</p>
<p>I p.m.'d iris, so I'll get back to the original post!</p>
<p>My D went through some difficult days, dealing with homesickness & everything that goes with being on her own. Fortunately, her school pulls students into things. She attended various events, went to meetings, started classes. Lo & behold, she became very comfortable and very happy. She has classes from 8-11 every day (strange system at her school). She LOVES it!! She returns from classes and studies, types notes, writes papers, does problems, etc. She has had time to join some groups, play intramural volleyball, volunteer on Saturday mornings, go to football games, hang out with friends, etc. She goes to bed by 11 on weeknights and MUCH later on weekends. She has friends who spend their free time like she does, and things are great.</p>
<p>On the other hand, she has been re-evaluating her academic interests and her career goals (thanks to a 10 student seminar-style class she is taking). As much as she enjoys her school, she feels she may need some different opportunities that are not available there. She has started investigating options for next year. On her own. Without complaining. Without dumping anything into Mom's lap. </p>
<p>The cool thing is, she told me that she does not consider her current college a mistake. She believes it was exactly where she needed to be to get where she needs to go. She has matured so quickly in such a short time ... I am blown away by the conversation we had yesterday about all of this! It's like the petals on her rose are just beginning to unfold into bloom. She doesn't know what will happen down the road, so she is preparing for whatever seems best. She may stay ... she may go ... but she is living life to the fullest every step of the way on her journey. Wow.</p>
<p>1st post here after lurking during DD's senior year in HS. </p>
<p>We dropped her off last Friday (the 21st) at her U an hour and a half away. She had had dinner with roommates prior to move in and was at ease during the whole day (thanks Facebook). Well, about a half an hour prior to us leaving her, she started tearing up and then we all teared up. Uggh. </p>
<p>She knew she had to come home during the next weekend for a memorial service and had told us that she would leave after class on Friday (the 28th) and stay home until Sunday night when I would drive her back. Well, on Wednesday before coming home she told us she would take Public Transit home on Saturday morning, attend the service, and could I please give a ride home Saturday afternoon. </p>
<p>When I did drop her off on Saturday, I asked when she might come home again? She replied "I don't know...Thanksgiving...maybe." </p>
<p>Well, at least I know she's adjusting well. It made a Dad's transition easier knowing she's enjoying her knew life.</p>
<p>My D smiles when she talks to me on the phone, I can hear it in her voice....she had an intermural sports game last night at 11pm...I just can't imagine....</p>
<p>Anywy, I won't see her until Christmas, she made her Thanksgiving plans already....</p>
<p>But I am getting to know the local post office people REAL well, sending off winter sweaters and the like</p>
<p>Just got off the phone on my weekly conversation w/S. He's doing just fine. Very talkative and like citygirlsmom says: "I can hear the smile when he talks". Very small town, very rural campus...S says there are unhappy kids all around, but he's "just fine". (We live in a very small town) Liking classes, loving one in particular, finishing up intramural tennis, looking forward to ski season. Halfway through this first "semester". "Gotta go mom talk to you next week, I'm meeting some guys, we're grilling out. the food s**ks in the cafeteria." H and I are breathing a sigh of relief. Now, if he just stays content for 4 years!</p>
<p>
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Well, about a half an hour prior to us leaving her, she started tearing up and then we all teared up. Uggh.
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Hah! Yeah, when we dropped off my D last year, it was no problem at all. It was a surprise, really. But it all happened so fast there was no time for melodrama. I thought it would be that way with my son this year. We dumped his stuff into his room and all of us went out for dinner. Drove up to the school, and everyone just sat there - not a word from anyone. Then the boy said softly "Well, I guess this is it". That pretty much kicked it all off.</p>
<p>My little ones all began to ask why he HAD to go, they were crying, my boy was crying and squeezing them so hard I could see a vein bulging down the middle of his forehead. My wife was crying.</p>
<p>I had it all mapped out in my head. I would get out of the car, give him a hug, shake his hand, and do the "Make us proud" thing. But when it came to it, all I could do was reach my hand back and hold onto his leg for a very long time as I tried to get myself together, my plan being to salvage what little of the act I could. Unfortunately, I couldn't even speak. Each time I tried to say something, I was overcome by inexplicable waves of grief. So I just shook my head and stayed quiet. The boy was just the coolest. Crying himself, he said he knew what I wanted to say and that he loved me. I nodded, then he got out of the car and left.</p>
<p>He's doing fabulously. To my surprise, he loves everything about his school and is learning very rapidly. I must say, I am terribly impressed.</p>
<p>My daughter is having the time of her life. She spent welcome week rushing, and is now pledging Kappa Alpha Theta, and has 35 instant friends, including another engineer. She and her roomates get along great. She loves her dorm room, and the people on her floor. She's 0 for 2 on TA showing up for discussion section, but she can almost understand her profs, and finds the new classes interesting, and the subjects she's familiar with nice and easy while they are still in review mode. The dorm food is good. The sorority food is better. The nearby entertainment district is great fun. And her first football game was a blast. Can I just live my life vicareously through her?</p>
<p>Drosselmeier: It brought tears to my eyes. I didn't think it was going to be that hard, but I cried all the way home after we dropped our daughter off. My husband did not speak all the way home (4 hours). She is coming home this weekend for the first time (6 weeks later). We are all counting the hours.</p>
<p>oldfort - my d is at the same school as yours - I cannot wait for the weekend! We are flying up to NYC as getting from school to home is too iffy for a few days. her 4 yr. older brother started his job in Boston this past week so the nest has been really empty! (she also loves it!)</p>