Love it @FallGirl! D also wouldn’t look at warm weather schools.
Both kids attended schools on the west coast within 200 miles of home.
It has worked out well, permitting us to see them much more often and to help them through rough patches. We still had run ins with weather, but it helps when multiple modes of transportation are available.
Just in the last week, location has become a major deciding factor for D, who will be a freshman next year. She applied to schools that weren’t more than a five-hour drive from home. But she’s decided even that is too far and has narrowed down her choices to the two closest campuses, 45 minutes and 1 1/2 hours from home, that she has been accepted to. She wants to live on a campus, but I think she’s getting cold feet about being too far away. While I have played no role in that decision, I’m pretty happy about it!
I find that I miss kids less when they are farther away. It seems like it would be harder to not see them much if they are within striking distance.
Both our boys stayed instate but still weren’t very close to home. S1 was 3 hours away and S2 was 5 hours away…far enough so we couldn’t be" checking in" all the time but close enough to come home (which they didn’t do very often) whenever they wanted to. Both had their trucks at their schools so we never had to bother with any transportation issues.
No geographic limits at all for my girls. D1 is ~800 miles away and D2 is looking at schools that range from ~200 to ~1200
I encouraged both of my kids to stay within a day’s drive. Airfares out of our city are expensive and it’s hard to find direct flights. I went to college about 1500 miles from home. Although I loved my school, I found the distance inconvenient.
My S attended a college 4 hours from our home. A perfect distance IMO.
D wanted to go to school somewhere with 4 seasons where it snows occasionally. Nothing too extreme. She chose a college that’s about a 7.5 hour drive from home. A little farther than I’d like, but doable.
No limits here either. D1 is ~500 miles form home, a direct flight that’s cheaper than driving. D2 has been accepted to schools 10 - 2000 miles away.
My older DD self-imposed a 3-4 hour radius around our house to apply to. I suggested the same to my younger one ut she self-imposed a 2 hour radius. I think that has worked out nicely.
This is an interesting and enlightening thread, because I didn’t realize how different travel choices are out towards the West coast compared to living in Ohio with many colleges in close proximity to home.
I think many parents have a good idea what kind of distance is going to work with their student. If our son had been three hours from home, his whole four years in college would have been quite different from what he’s experienced an hour away. We would have made it work, sure, but it may have been more stressful. I think being closer to home ensured him better success in sticking things out, knowing he could get a quick break from the school scene and come home for a weekend here and there, and then get back into the college life. For someone else, a three hour drive or more might be a drop in a bucket and they may have no problem with less trips home.
Older D went to college 6600 miles away, the younger D went to college 900 miles away. We see both twice a year, at Christmas and in the summer. Obviously, we didn’t put any restrictions on them wrt distance. I am envious of my friends whose students are at our local state flagship, a mile down the road. But my Ds are both thriving and happy and always happy to see us when they see us. Knock on wood, neither has had severe homesickness.
It is quicker to fly half way across the country than to drive to the other side of our state
And safer, too, in winter.
Saintfan-you’re in WA, correct? H is a Seattle native and it still kind of amazes him that in the time it takes to drive across the state, where I am from you can drive through three or four states, maybe more, depending on the route.
Miller, depending on the major, even being near a lot of schools might not make an hour’s drive possible. I had to go 2.5 hours and the states away to find a state U with my major. I recall going home often only that first semester. My parents deserve big props for making the drive so often.
I envy parents who can put a distance restriction on their kids. My D didn’t want California (and even those schools would be a minimum of 6 hour drive) and definitely didn’t want to stay in state (wants low student:faculty ratio, smaller school environments). So, no matter what, her college choices are a plane flight away. I worry about the expense of traveling (Freshman this coming Fall) back and forth, and know that we won’t see her as often as we’d like. For those with more than one choice within an hour or 2 drive, count yourselves fortunate. I’m jealous. 
I’m the original poster. Here’s a rundown of the travel my older daughter’s undergraduate education in Southern California entailed: First year: seven round-trip flights (entire family going to drop off D; husband returning one week later for orientation; D home for Thanksgiving and Christmas). Second year: H and D drove her car to California; H returned by plane. D flew home at Christmas. H flew to California in June and D and H drove car back to the Midwest, because D was doing study-abroad program in the fall. Third year: D flew back to California in January after return from study abroad. D flew home in June. Fourth year: D and H drove car back to California; H flew back home. D flew home at Christmas.
Fortunately, D’s college is very close to an airport that has many flights to our state. Unfortunately, even with a nearby airport, the cost of getting to and from the airport was sometimes as much as the cost of the plane tickets.
The car is now 22 years old. It has had many issues, including ones that developed suddenly during the ascent into mountains while going through Colorado; smoke coming out of the engine while D was on the 10 (or was it some other freeway?); suddenly refusing to start; etc.
I’m still content with D’s choice of college but yes, I did not anticipate the cost or hassle of travel.
I took D to drop off and none of us have been back since. H hasn’t ever been there. It doesn’t have to be that complex if you have financial limitations. She flies back twice a year, Christmas and one other visit (summer or this year spring break).
While my older D was in college, I told myself that I didn’t mind not visiting her while she was there, but when I went for graduation, I was overcome with sadness, not just because of graduation but because I had missed the opportunity to spend time with my daughter at the school.
rosered, that sounds exactly like my niece’s experience except that she lives in a mountain state and took her car back again after the fall semester abroad. And her car isn’t 22 years old, probably only 15. And my sister and BIL fly out all the time to visit, including this weekend.
I like having my daughter only 2 hours away. I can go watch her play hockey (she often plays closer to me, so only an hour or so). Last weekend she came to the theater, stayed overnight and went back in the morning. It’s not at all necessary, and if she’d picked a school 10 hours away she couldn’t do that, but it is a nice bonus.
I went to school about 1 hour away from home and NEVER went to visit. Sometimes I’d go to the city, take a tennis lesson, go to a movie or concert, and go back and never go home, so sometimes it just doesn’t matter how close the school is. My nephew goes to my school, and he’s been home 4-5 weeks this year, plus the holidays, and his parents have been to visit and a football game a number of times. Anything over an hour is the ‘safe zone’ where parents aren’t just going to show up unannounced and yet you aren’t expected to live at home or travel home often. Convenient to get home when you want to.
While I would have totally supported them if they had wanted to attend a school farther away, if the budget was manageable, college students still need parenting, and it’s difficult to do so from farther away, although it is easier I admit with cell phones( which oldest didn’t have till senior year).
We visited our youngest much more than oldest. Mostly because oldest was more than twice as far away, and when she was in college, her sister was still in grade school and we just didn’t have time/money.
I really wish we had visited more. We should have made it a priority.
She was in several vocal performances, of which I only attended one, and I only went once to parents weekend ( without H, but with her grandmother).
During her time in college, we had little contact, and our relationship suffered so much that it still hasn’t recovered.