Thank you for sharing…
I will never forgive or respect my parents for causing so much damage to my mental health… I swear to God my kids will never experience the things I went through as a kid. 
Never is a long time.
Your parents let you have the internet, which is more than many kids get. It also sounds like you are getting your choice of college (and major) but it is unclear if they are paying or if you have earned yourself a free education because of your hard work. That may be a gift you don’t realize yet.
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My parents didn’t pay for anything… I busted my ass for this free education
I knew of several parents who allowed underage drinking at their homes. I didn’t think much of it until something else happened.
A year or two ago, one of my good friends who played on our school’s golf team and was #1, got arrested for possession of an empty THC cart.
Those same parents who allowed underage drinking at their house outcasted him and made him seem like the worst kid to ever walk the planet. They told some of their kids to avoid him and not talk to him. Wish they would have seen how bad they were themselves furnishing alcohol to minors. I being young and dumb, went to a party these parents allowed, and some girl became violently ill outside, I almost thought she was fitting at first. The parents just gave her water. Didn’t call 911.
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You already know that you are getting a full ride at Purdue? Wonderful! That is so great! You will not have to be dependent upon your parents for money, won’t have to live by their rules. Fantastic! Hang in there, baby, January’s coming! BTW, you might want to see if you can get a job over Christmas break. A lot of stores hire temps then, to deal with the Christmas rush and returns. It will surely help to have some extra money in your pocket before heading to school.
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wow 
No… LOL… I’m not getting a full ride at Purdue, they’re basically giving me lots of financial aid and scholarships to cover most if not the full cost of college. They are also providing work study programs and I can easily get a job around the campus. It’s gonna be a good feeling to be free and finally be myself for once. I am so excited for January, and the best part is that I get to gain a head start on my STEM career. 
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Beware of counting on a lot from work study. You might not get as many hours as you’d like. That’s what happened to my daughter.
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the other thing with work study unless it has changed say your cost is 10,000 and you get work study for $1,000. You still have to pay the $10,000 and as you do official work study job you earn up to the $1,000 back. It is nice to get back but you do have to pay it upfront first. You also need to be careful you don’t work too many hours that you only have tim for classes, studying, and work but not for fun.
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@unknowncreature I thought of you when I saw this.
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I do not think it is fair to pressure the OP to understand or forgive his parents simply because he is an African American male and some of his parents’ overly strict control may have been rooted in fear of a hostile society and systemic racism.
As the OP meets people from many more walks of life and learns and grows, he may come to that conclusion himself and find understanding and forgiveness.
Or he may come to the conclusion that their parenting, systemic racism or not, was cruel and mean and remain angry and bitter about that. Those are his feelings and he has a right to them. It may be healthy to not dwell on them and try to move on, focus on making the very best life for himself and his potential future kids, but you can’t force forgiveness.
He may also come to the conclusion that a lot of what distorted his relationship with his parents was due to systemic racism, and remain angry and bitter about that. That’s his right, too.
OP, you seem very confident that you would have been a “good kid” even if your parents hadn’t been so strict. But then, at the same time, your parents seem to have planted a connection in your mind that “having fun” and “freedom” and “enjoying yourself” means you’re not being a good kid, and that wanting to have fun as any 18 year old would means that you’d invariably go off the rails and fail out of college and end up in jail or worse.
You’ll do good. Remember, enjoying yourself can mean going to a class to learn stuff you’re interested in, meeting with others to form a study group, meeting up to get exercise outdoors like going for a run or playing a game, meeting up to eat good food, just hanging out with friends without a deeper purpose, dating, going to a dance or club - we are social animals and need all that in order to be healthy. All good.
It shouldn’t be too hard for you to avoid the not-good parts of having fun. The addictive and/or illegal ones. Drink, drugs, video games. If your campus tolerates some alcohol and weed even though it may be illegal for your age group, find out exactly how far that tolerance goes. Make sure you stay away from not-good sex - unprotected, not fully consensual because one or both of you were drunk or felt pressured.
Go to class, do your work, keep up your grades, ask for help when you need it, don’t get in trouble with the law. This should be good enough for any 18 year old male, African American or not. I sincerely hope it will be. Stay safe.
Living well is the best revenge. Grow up, be independent, support yourself. One day your parents may tell you they are proud of you and they wish they’d been less harsh in your youth, seeing what you have become. A good man.
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I struggle with this a lot… I don’t think I’ll ever get over this
I agree with everything you just said. I will never forgive my parents for all of the mental trauma they’ve put me through and ruining my childhood. I’ve missed out on so much during the past 18 years and that’s the freedom I"ll never get back and that’s a damn shame. But, since I’m almost leaving their house I will find true happiness for once in my life. I don’t give a hoot about bills or extra responsibilities I’m just excited to start my new life and focus on what I really wanna do. My kids won’t go through the same stuff went through when I was a child and I put that on my heart and soul. Once I get to college, I know I’ll be surrounded by negative temptation but I’ll try my best to avoid it. Thank you for the insight.
That’s why you need to find a good counselor ASAP. Or this WILL affect your children, no matter how hard you try for it not to.
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I agree 
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Colleges require financial aid paperwork from parents until students are 24 years old. If your parents will refuse to file the financial aid forms for not abiding by their rules you’re not going to be free of them until your last financial aid form is submitted just before your senior year of college.
Work study is an 8-10 hour/week job that pays ~$11/hour. Students receive a paycheck every 2 weeks. Not every work study student is able to find a job, and the ones that do don’t always get the maximum number of hours in. Our department’s student employees average 8 hours. Some campuses have summer and/or winter jobs. See if you can get one and remain on campus over breaks.
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there’s a Walmart near Purdue’s campus that pay $14 an hour… I work in retail right now so I already have experience from my previous jobs.