<p>Hello parents! I'm a rising senior, first generation, oldest in the family, who's trying to navigate her way through the big and rough seas of applying to college and filling out scholarship applications.</p>
<p>I'm 95% I'm applying to the Robert E. Cook Honors College at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. I've spent two weeks there in 2008 and 2009 as part of a summer program, and I absolutely loved the Honors College. So I haven't looked at other places seriously, and the idea of going on a tour with my parents is ridiculous, partly due to my parents always working and partly due to my parents wondering why they should even go.</p>
<p>I just feel like everything is a big hassle to my mom. Last night, I was applying for the Horatio Alger scholarship, and I needed some tax information. My mom acted like it was a big deal to get up, find the envelope, and interrupt her cross-stitching so I could have the figures. </p>
<p>I don't understand. My mom has to know that I need financial aid and scholarships to go to college, but she isn't willing to help me. My dad is very helpful, however. I just don't understand why my mom, who files the taxes/does the financial stuff, is giving me so many problems. She wants me to apply for merit/need based scholarships. I'm sort of wondering if she thinks I'm entitled to a full-scholarship, so other sources are a waste of time. I don't know what to do.</p>
<p>So basically, I'm wondering how to spark interest in my mom. While my dad is helpful, he has a bad temper and some previous substance abuse problems, hence why I'm applying for the HA scholarship...</p>
<p>I’m wondering what would happen if you weren’t asking her for things at an inopportune time; I know when I did cross-stitch, I did not want to be interrupted for something that could easily have been done when I wasn’t doing cross-stitch!!</p>
<p>Actually, there’s probably only so much information you need – financial info – from your parents for all your scholarship stuff. Perhaps you should organize what you need, ask for it once, and then you’d have the information for whatever. You know you’ll need to file FAFSA, and you may need to file Profile; those forms and the ones you’ve already filled out likely ask all the financial questions you’ll need to answer.</p>
<p>gg - why don’t you write down a list of the information you need, and tell your mom that you need it by XX date (don’t wait until the last minute). Write the date on the top of the paper as a reminder. If your mom is relaxing at the end of the day, that probably means she thought she was done with all of her chores for the day. If you let her know what you need in advance, I’m sure she’d be happy to provide you with the information/photocopies - as long as she can gather the stuff at a time that is convenient for her. Either that, or see if you can schedule time together for you to work on the applications together if you think that’ll work better.</p>
<p>Do not focus on impossible task. you will not change your mom, neither my D will ever change me or my H. Have o live with what you have and learn to appreciate it. Have patience. FYI- I filled tons of applications for scholarships for my D, not a single one had resulted in any $$. On the other hand, her tuition is fully covered by Merit scholarships that she gor automatically based on her GPA and ACT. Make sure that you are not wasting your time. The best of luck!</p>
<p>Without knowing your mom there could be a few reasons.
She does not want you to leave.
She thinks it’s a waste of time because “no one” ever gets scholarships or they are for “other people”.
She is tired because she works a lot, cross stitching is her time to relax & do you really need it this second.
I agree with the others - find out what you need, ask for it & write it down or enter it into a spreadsheet. This way she only has to get it once.</p>
<p>Keep good notes for your siblings. Also, apply to other schools - search on this site (or ask your GC), maybe you can find some that are known to be generous to 1st gen students. In these times you never know what you will or won’t get.
Good Luck!</p>
<p>Many parents (including parents here on CC) are somewhat misled to think that good grades in school + good overall kid = free rides. Then it comes time for financial aid packets and offers from schools and we sadly, and sometimes too late to do anything, find out that $$$ is NOT falling out of the pockets of admission people. </p>
<p>If you have good grades, good extra-curriculars, and good recommendations scholarships - especially local scholarships - are definitely worth a shot. Whether you are lucky to receive a few hundred dollars or a few thousand, it is worth the time to fill out an application. The fact that YOU are willing to do this is most important! If you can get some basic family income information from your mom once, you probably can use that info for many applications and not have to bother her over and over again.</p>
<p>abasket,
"good grades in school + good overall kid " will result in a lot of Merit $$ … if criteria for choosing school include good Merit scholarship package. Got to do research though. D has tuition covered not only because of her GPA, ACT, but also because she went to school that ws known to give superior Merit $$ to superior caliber in-state students. She could have gone to elite school and receive nothing.</p>
<p>My point was that many parents (especially those who don’t spend hours doing research on colleges) are led or ASSUME that because their kid is “smart” there will be $$$ falling from the sky for college - the reality can be a rude awakening.</p>
<p>So yes, colleges with merit based scholarships should be pursued but MANY parents and students don’t realize that not all schools grant lots of $$$ for good grades.</p>
<p>See now - I assume just the opposite: that the kid would have to be a super star, walk on water, taken all the AP courses a school had to offer, be a club, sports, class, president, volunteer all free time to the needy & help out at home becuase parent or siblings have/had probelms and at the same time maintain straight A’s; to get any kind of scholarships. Oh yea forgot - and write a really good scholarship essay.<br>
Unless the scholarship is very specific & my kid fits the profile (for example: Croatians, who live in Chicago, that want to major in Latin and family income is below 30,000).</p>
<p>owlice,
D was busy working hard getting her staright As, which my H and I appreciated very much, which resulted in her automatic Merit scholarships. We did not want her to waste time on scholarship applications. And if they reguire essay, she would wip them out, she is very good and quick writer, my essay would be a shame to include in apps, we all know that. I did not mind doing that, which resulted in zero $$$ as we predicted.</p>
<p>OP, this is off your original topic, but oleosmirf brings up a good point. Do not put all of your eggs in one basket! Cook Honors College may be your #1 choice, and it may all work out for you – but then again, it may not. Sometimes we just don’t get what we want – especially when significant $$$ are needed.</p>
<p>So go ahead and apply to the honors college. But also apply to several other schools such as lower-cost public schools and/or schools that are likely to offer you substantial merit aid.</p>
<p>The suggestion to put together a packet of all of your requests is a good one. Put everything in writing and include a check off list for your mother. Think of this as a business proposal: explain your goals and why you think they are reasonable. Describe the steps you need to take to reach those goals. Tell your Mom exactly what you need from her and when you need it by. Make sure she fills out the FAFSA asap. It may be separation anxiety, but in this economy it could also be financial insecurity, which the mother is reluctant to address with her son. So tread carefully as discussions like that can be difficult for some parents. Last advice: apply to three reaches, three matches, three safeties (financially and academically). You do not need to visit in order to apply. Once accepted, you can visit the schools you are interested in. Good luck.</p>
<p>Agreed - please, please apply to more than one school - many online applications are free so you can probably find a few that also meet your needs that will not cost anything more than time to apply.</p>
<p>Okay, I really appreciate everyones help so far. I think the idea about just having a folder filled with all the information Ill need will really help me and her both out.</p>
<p>As someone said earlier, I cant change my mom, which is exactly true. I doubt its separation anxiety we have more of a togetherness anxiety, haha. Going away to school will be a pleasant break for both of us.</p>
<p>I also know its ridiculous for me to only apply to one school, but the schools around me (Slippery Rock, Youngstown, Penn State, Thiel) dont have what Im looking for in a college. And while there may be another school halfway across the country that I like better, Ill never know because I cant get there to visit it.</p>
<p>The Cook Honors College is a part of IUP, which is one of the 12? PA state schools that have tuition at a greatly reduced cost. The Honors College isnt more expensive than IUP itself, and they tend to give out more aid than IUP. Also, I like the Honors College because it has a pretty big endowment fund for things like study abroad, internships, etc. and its really to obtain if you really want to go somewhere.</p>
<p>I know this is sort of off topic, but if anyone else knows of a school like that, Id be happy to look into it. I really want to go to the HC, but Ill keep an open mind.</p>