<p>I'm an extremely motivated freshman when it comes to college things. I visit college sites all the time and worry about things that are a long time off. People tell me the earlier I plan the better. Well apparently my mother hasn't heard this. Everytime I talk about college anything her eyes get this lovely glossy look to them. It irritates me to no end! She plans for me to go to the community college that's 10 minutes away, just like my brothers. They didn't even want to go and dropped out after a year. I want to go on to bigger and better things and while she says that she knows it she doesn't seem to care about it. I want everything to be easy when I'm a senior. I want to know which colleges I'm applying to, how much I can pay towards them, the whole enchilada. But she wants me to stay in the dark until the very last minute. At least that's how I'm seeing it. Basically, how do I get my mom as interested in the college search as I am?</p>
<p>For now, your best plan is to work hard in hs and get another solid year of academics under your belt. Then perhaps check back next summer for advise. </p>
<p>Also get involved in some enriching extra curriculars. Pick things you like. Don’t waste your youth chasing resume bullets.</p>
<p>It could be the more you try, the worse you make it. That is, the more you talk about it to get her interested, the more you go on about it, the more she pulls away (because she’s bored, she finds it stressful, she doesn’t want to fuel your preoccupation and obvious worry, or she doesn’t want to reveal her lack of understanding, or ?..who knows). </p>
<p>Stop trying to make her interested (or as interested as you- that isn’t realistic to ask of anyone). And instead focus on what you actually need from her. What specific information or support do you <em>actually need</em> right now for example as say a rising sophomore? I am guessing what kind of financial support, if any, she will be able to provide. So be more strategic and pick your battles. Maybe even cut her a deal- if she can answer say just two questions you have (and give her time to get the information for you), you promise to stop talking to her about it for the next year. Meanwhile find others, such as people on CC, friends, teachers, to discuss college. If you let it go a year or two, or bring it up just occasionally, she might start to get interested, or at least not have that glazed look in her eyes. </p>
<p>I would also strongly encourage you to lighten up if you can. There is value in thinking and talking about colleges and collecting information on CC and elsewhere. But it is premature and unrealistic to try to sort it all out now. In fact, I would argue it would be detrimental to you for a few reasons. One is this notion of worry you mention quite a bit. You can’t control everything- focus on what you can control (e.g. your grades, your ECs), and let the rest go. You also can’t know all you will need to know before you apply to colleges. The reason being you are going to change and grow as a person a huge amount in the next three years. Who you are now, what you are interested in, what you know about your self and colleges will evolved with time. If you lock into plans too early, to gain some kind of certainty about it all at say 14 or 15, you may become blind to, and miss out on a ton of very valuable information and possibly not make the best choice for yourself at 18. And even those that do all the planning in the world can’t know for sure what will happen in the college application process so its just an illusion you can take away the uncertainty. Yes you can control some things, such as working hard in highschool, but so many things you will never be able to control, such as who will accept you, or what kind of financial aid you may receive. </p>
<p>So I guess what I’m saying is try to strike a balance. Enjoy learning about majors, colleges, interests, yourself over time, but don’t spend too much time on CC (which can be so demoralizing and stressful for those prone to those feelings), and try not to turn what can be an enjoyable exploration into a worry or an obsession. I know, easier said than done. But most of all, don’t try to have it all figured out now. You have years to do so and in fact should take years to do so.</p>