In February, my husband and I had a meeting with my son regarding his dream university. We had a disagreement about it it because he was agreeing with my son. Here are the reasons I disagree with him. 1. We cannot afford the tuition/housing costs 2. My son does not give his best to get better grades(C’s and sometimes D’s in English & Math) He also failed the SAT which requires his to take summer school 3. My son does not get a financial aid only parents pell loans. 4. We don’t want to be in debts when my son graduate from college and also my husband is retiring soon. We went to the university tour yesterday and found out that it is going to cost around $80K loan or more for 4 to 5 years of college. Now my husband wants to talk to my son that we have to back out and he will just go to the community college. How can we tell my son about this? He was very happy and excited when we went to the tour and he even bragged about it to his friends. He would hate us and he might get depress if we tell him this. Please tell me what to do. Than you all.
Well it is time for your son to understand how things work in the real world. Sit him down and tell him the truth about why he can’t go to his dream university. I’m somewhat surprised you let him go on the tour. Has he been accepted to the school of his dream. My son’s dream school was a out of state school and there was no way he was going to go without lots of aid. He did not get the aid so the school was a no go. He was upset at first but once we sat him down and talked to him he out over it and selected a in state school. Just be firm and truthfull about the situation. Best of luck to you.
One does not “fail the SAT”…
D grades in senior year of high school will likely result in the admission offer being rescinded anyway.
Parents should have done the evaluation of what they can afford and tell the kid what they are willing to contribute before the kid applies anywhere and gets fixated on any “dream schools”.
Tell him exactly what you are telling us. That it is infeasible for u to borrow 80k for college, any more than it’s feasible for u to borrow 80k for a new Corvette.
Tell him that had he done his part and gotten good grades, that he could have been awarded scholarship money to make the cost realistic
“Fail” the SAT? Getting C’s and D’s and getting into one’s expensive dream school? “Parent pell loans”? Not real. Qualifies for Pell (these are grants, not loans) but no other FA? Silly. Not buying this stuff @guiltymom. Hogwash.
How did he get accepted to his dream school with his grades being as you say, and a “failing” SAT?
What is this dream school?
If you can’t afford it…just tell your son you are sorry, but family finances make it impossible for him to attend this school.
Not sure I’m believing this story.
Just be honest. Tell your child what you can afford to pay for college. I’m sure he will be disappointed, but learning to deal with disappointment is part of growing up. I just hope that he has other, more affordable options. Honestly, going to community college for a year or two is not the end of the world, as some people on CC would have you believe.
Be honest and clear. Have a family meeting. Try to make sure you and your husband are on the same page. Encourage your son to work hard to achieve his goals. There are many roads that lead to success, not one path.
What were the circumstances that led you to wait til April of senior year to talk finances?
The OP was perhaps taking midterms and finals??? :^o
Perhaps OP means the SAT was so low the student is admitted on probation and has to enroll in a summer program as a condition of admission?
How do you tell him? Take him to dinner, tell him you simply cannot borrow the amount of money necessary to send him to this college for 4 years. However, IF he can do well earning an associate’s degree at a community college, you can revisit the issue at a later time.
I realize that there is limited aid for transfers at most schools, BUT in this case, you’d be looking at a student with an AS/AA, so the SAT will no longer matter. Grades might be better, and even limited transfer scholarships might be better than what’s being offered now.
There are several things that don’t add up in the OP, but if by chance it is real, telling him ASAP is essential.
I think we need a moderator on this one, too many things don’t add up…
I thought the same thing, Cameron! How do people have enough time in their day to make these things up?!
I guess to the same extent that we all have time to read them!! LOL
I think most families eligible for Pell grants should NOT (and likely cannot) borrow 80 grand in student loans. This goes double if the student is not emotionally mature enough to make the most of a college experience. You just have to tell your son and husband the truth here. There’s no reason to feel guilty. You didn’t do anything wrong, except possibly waiting until now to bring up finances. (Why do people do this?)
How could they possibly qualify for big loans?
For Plus loans, qualification is not based on income or ability to repay, but only on prior credit problems. If you haven’t declared bankruptcy in the last 5 years, aren’t more than 90 days past due on any debts, and aren’t in default on prior government loans (could be your own student loans, could be a federal housing default), you’ll probably get the PLUS loan in any amount, for any number of kids, for any number of years.
If the OP meant a Plus loan and not a ‘pell loan’, it is possible for the parents to go into debt.
OP, you say to your son “Son, we cannot afford this school. Go to community college.”
I don’t think they can, actually, unless their FAFSA EFC is misleading or the “Pell loan” reference was really a “Stafford loan” (unsubsidized) which even more affluent families can receive. There’s a language barrier here that makes this a little more challenging but I think based on the scenario described ‘guiltymom’ honestly needs to be honest with these people.
Is this thread real???
If so, then @guiltymom you need to clarify some confusion in your post:
[QUOTE=""]
In February, my husband and I had a meeting with my son regarding his dream university. We had a disagreement about it it because he was agreeing with my son. Here are the reasons I disagree with him. 1. We cannot afford the tuition/housing costs 2. My son does not give his best to get better grades(C's and sometimes D's in English & Math) He also failed the SAT which requires his to take summer school 3. My son does not get a financial aid only parents pell loans. 4. We don't want to be in debts when my son graduate from college and also my husband is retiring soon. We went to the university tour yesterday and found out that it is going to cost around $80K loan or more for 4 to 5 years of college. Now my husband wants to talk to my son that we have to back out
[/QUOTE]
There are NO SUCH THINGS as Pell Loans
How does a C/D student get into a “dream university”?
What is your FAFSA EFC
Are you saying that your H told your son last Feb that it was ok to go to that school??? If so, did your H do that without bothering to find out how much this will cost??? (If so, then your H gets a D to match any D’s your son has).
I think this thread isn’t real.