A Daughter Just Wanting a Dream..

<p>Hello! I'm pretty new to CC. I'm going to a private college in Los Angeles, CA. It is my dream college. First because they're great in international studies, (I want to either work for a government agency or non profit organization with a focus on third world countries), second because of location. I am interested in persuing acting. So I thought why not kill two birds with one stone. =). I am my parents little girl. Last daughter in the house. The first of three children to go to college traditionally. The only problem is that they don't want me to go so far. They are saying that it is because of costs but I applied and got accepted to mostly private colleges so they all almost cost the same thing. I got my financial aid letter a few days ago and it seemed as though my parents discouraged me from it even more.</p>

<p>Here is the breakdown:
University Grant: 4,500
Academic Scholarship: 7,500
Federal Sub. Stafford Loan: 3,500
Federal Unsub Stafford Loan: 2,000
Federal Parent Loan: 24,600</p>

<p>That is for the entire year. My parents have already said that with retirement they can pay 12 thousand right now. And since they own three homes they are planning to rent two out. I was just wondering how I should go about showing them that I really want this. And that I really believe we can make it work if we all try hard. For some reason they think that college should be this thing that comes easy, when in actuality for me things that come easy aren't really valued as much. They don't really have any friends going through a similar situation (i.e. child going off to college) so they just hear me talking about it and my counciler. </p>

<p>Thanks for reading that novel. lol. And I look forward to replies.
Josephine</p>

<p>If you are expecting your parents to take out $30,100/year (plus pay $12,000/year?), then they are going to be the ones who "try hard" in this enterprise. I think your expectations of them are unreasonable.</p>

<p>What's wrong with University of South Carolina or College of Charleston?</p>

<p>I would recommend you sit down with your parents and the school counselor to see if something could be worked out. I just told one of my students that very same thing about a week ago, because sometimes, you just need a third party to help you work through things.</p>

<p>On the other hand, are your parents a bit concerned about the amount that would have to be taken out in loans? I know that would be my biggest concern -- even more than the distance from home.</p>

<p>We all need to stick to obtaining things that we can afford. That includes college education.</p>

<p>
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Federal Parent Loan: 24,600

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</p>

<p>That's for one year. </p>

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My parents have already said that with retirement they can pay 12 thousand right now.

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</p>

<p>Is that for each year? If they pay $12K each year, that still leaves them with $50K in debt when you're done, assuming you finish in 4 years.</p>

<p>
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They are saying that it is because of costs but I applied and got accepted to mostly private colleges so they all almost cost the same thing.

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</p>

<p>Did you have the money conversation with them before you applied to "mostly private colleges?" If not, you should have; that would have let you know what kind of financial aid (as in grants, as in free money, not loans) the schools would need to offer for you to be able to go to them. You might have looked for other options, less expensive options.</p>

<p>It's not just the cost of tuition, R&B, and fees; transportation costs, too. Are you prepared to work so that you can afford to get yourself to and from college? How much have you saved so far? How much will you save this summer? Transportation can really add up; who will pay for it? Do you want that to come out of the $12K your parents are willing to pay, or would you rather it go toward tuition at a school that won't be so far away and as expensive to get to/from?</p>

<p>Another issue could be what your parents did or didn't do to help your other siblings. If they didn't provide any financial assistance for their other kids' education, it could be hard to justify spending $24,000+ a year on yours.</p>

<p>
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...when in actuality for me things that come easy aren't really valued as much.

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</p>

<p>I agree. Your parents have sacrifced a lot of things to raise you, the least of which is the huge amount of money it takes to raise a child from birth to 18. Being a parent is the hardest job but they have stepped up and done it. It's part of why we parents are so proud of our children, why we value you so much; we know how hard the job has been. </p>

<p>Show them they have raised you right, be grateful for what they are freely giving and take on the rest. If it is worth it to you, then take out the loans in your name.</p>

<p>More loan than grant = diploma mill scam.
You are participating in a rip off of your family.</p>

<p>This is a young lady that wants to work for the government or a non profit. If she takes $50K in loans per above minus the parent's contribution, adds the Staffords she'll have over 4 years, she will be in MAJOR debt upon graduation which will cause extreme hardship on the salary she's likely to make.</p>

<p>Oh goodness I wasn't expecting all these replies so soon. </p>

<p>Deja: That was just what the financial aid letter said. Their loan amount wouldn't be that much because they have the capabilities to pay most of it. At most I see 12,000 in loans every year. I really would like to get out of South Carolina. And I suppose if it takes me just taking a year off to work I should think about that too. </p>

<p>Momreads: Thank you so much. I think that would be the best plan. </p>

<p>MiamiDAP: But living within your means is just so boring...lol. I'm just kidding. I understand what you're saying. </p>

<p>whatever4: My prents did help my sister pay for college. She chose to have a child out of high school and they also helped with that. Which I think they've paid a good amount of money for. </p>

<p>pugmadkate: I don't know how to express that to my parents without sounding ungrateful. Because every way I think of saying it I think of them hearing me say, "well if you don't support me i can do it myself. so whatever." I just don't want to hurt them like that.</p>

<p>The amount your parents would be taking out in loans would be a big mistake. The average loan amount that students take to cover all of their college education is $17 k -- total.</p>

<p>My advice would be to go to a college that you really can afford. If you want to be an actress, then move to LA or NYC after you graduate and are completely supporting yourself.</p>

<p>There are plenty of actors and actresses who didn't go to expensive private colleges and also went to schools that weren't in LA or places like NYC.</p>

<p>I have a friend with a daughter that's going to USC and they're very happy with it. I think that she's getting a lot of aid but she has a shot at a free ride too. Your parents have given you a budget of $12K (looks like per year). At this point, that's what you have to work with unless they or you are willing to take on loans. You should get a clarification on what they will provide for you - is it $12K? $12K with rental income?</p>

<p>My kids know how much I work for the income that I bring into the family and they respect the effort. They don't ask me for a lot though I do give them things that they don't ask for. I would guess that your parents have worked hard for what they have and that they're being generous with the $12K they are offering. A lot of parents offer nothing. Look through your aid packages to see if there's anything that will work with $12K. If not, perhaps you could look at local public options.</p>

<p>$12K not adding rental income. I honestly think that we won't need too much of a loan with the rental properties.</p>

<p>I was wondering from a parental point of view how do you all feel about 2 years at a community college then transferring to a university?</p>

<p>It sounds like someone needs to get a handle on the finances in your family. Why would your parent's not have been including their rental properties in giving you the number they can afford? Do they have proper provisions for retirement? Are there mortgages on the properties or are they owned outright and producing lots of cash?</p>

<p>Putting together all of this info would be the first step in understanding what makes sense.</p>

<p>Just the loans you as the student are looking at, which will go up every year, would worry most.</p>

<p>I can understand your parent's concern. That is a lot of loans, both for you and for them. Before the recent financial collapse this might have been a risk they thought they could take, but I can see that they might be having second thoughts now, especially since you don't seem to be head for high paying professions. I agree that sitting with a third neutral party might help everyone talk to each other.</p>

<p>I'm not sure if this is a dream school for you because the LA location could provide acting opportunities or because of the theatre program at the school. If it's the latter, you won't be able to pursue your other academic and career interests. A BFA in Acting is a full-time curriculum with minimal academic coursework and no room for electives.</p>

<p>Any "dream" college is a luxury. One that realistically your parents and you can not afford. Many schools have international studies programs, and the ones that don't a student can cobble together a major that prepares them for their future career and/or graduate studies in. Depending on your interests, you could combine Business and Political Science, or Foreign Language with Economics, Pre-Law with Communications, etc. Focus on your dream <em>education</em> and make it happen within your budget. </p>

<p>As for acting, that is a field that is very different from your first choice in career/major. I can understand why a parent might be somewhat hesitant to shell out the big bucks for a child to attend a school for an academic-based major with the possibility the child might switch to Acting, Music, Art or Basketweaving once there. For many parents there <em>are</em> strings attached, and rightly so, since college is a privelege, not a right, and it sounds like your parents like most parents end up raiding their retirement funds to foot the bill. This may or may not be an issue -- but if I were your parent, I'd be very reluctant to pay thousands and thousands of dollars over my budget for something as uncertain as IR vs Acting.</p>

<p>I highly recommend you "find yourself" at a local affordable college. You can always go to grad school for your dream school... you'll have more financial aid available, will know what you want to continue studying (it might be something other than the original 2 ideas!) and you don't put your parent's retirement at risk.</p>

<p>Good luck,</p>

<p>Annika</p>

<p>Obviously the three houses mitigate your (and thus your parent's) ability to qualify for more grant money over loans. And it is true that now would not be the time to sell or take second mortgages on them. But there is one more little wrinkle. You are assuming that your parents, in this economy, will qualify for the loans you are asking them to take on. Banks are not exactly giving people the benefit of the doubt, let alone actually lending.</p>

<p>Go to college in your home state. Trust me, you do not want loans when you are in a field that will make it difficult to take on that added debt. And here's why: Daughter had a 2500 loan over two years. She defaulted (is on track now and has been for well over a year) but when she went to get a car loan? No bank would give her a loan, in fact, they wouldn't even allow her on the loan, even if her dad's willingness to co-sign! All I am saying, don't underestimate the value of good credit, either yours or your parents'.</p>

<p>If the parents want to take out a $12-13K loan each year for their D's education, I don't think that is such a terrible thing, if the numbers work out. I would do it unless there are pressing issues. It means 14 years of loan payments ranging from $180 a month to $720 per month, over that time period. The young lady will be taking out loans in the amount of $5500 a year which is what kids are doing these days. If the school is a great fit, I think it would be worth it.There are not other kids to follow for college.</p>