<p>LOL at SteveMA & Zoosermom</p>
<p>A friend of mine has a child with Crouzon’s sydrome where the skull plates do not fuse and so those who have have a cranial facial disorder and yes, it shows. The babies are not cute in the traditional sense, in facial features, especially as they may have needed surgery for breathing and other issues that the syndrome can cause. There is another syndrome similar called Aper’s (?) I believe, and yes, those sweeties do not look normal. But these babies are still babies and that to me is what makes them cute. They can be sweet, adorable, cute and wonderful without being pretty or beautiful in terms of appearances standard, though I think these children are every bit beautiful to their loved ones and those who knows them. As I once read somewhere, someone very wise said that all brides are beautiful by definiton, and I believe that all babies are cute by the same. And, yes, I mean it, not just saying it.</p>
<p>The Talmud solved a related problem (brides, not babies) by decreeing that all brides are beautiful as a matter of law, so there’s no dishonesty in saying it about every bride.</p>
<p>I find that saying “How precious!” makes parents happy, and is always literally true of every baby. :)</p>
<p>Sorry to interrupt the adorable baby discussion, but to go back to the original issue of the thread, about Monday-morning quarterbacking: Actually, I don’t think I ever asked why someone <em>was</em> admitted to a highly selective school. </p>
<p>I will admit to thinking that it was a not a good idea for an Asian-American student to apply SCEA to Harvard–I felt that the student certainly should be admitted, but I was very skeptical whether Harvard would recognize that with early admission. Turns out they did.</p>
<p>I did, however, wonder (to myself) in a few cases why a student was <em>not</em> admitted. (Cue the “special snowflake” arguments from Pizzagirl.) QMP went 7 for 8, so I didn’t think a whole lot about that one case. Yet I can’t say I gave it zero thought. From time to time, I have wondered whether the declination was the result of an accurate evaluation of QMP or of an inaccurate evaluation of QMP; and if inaccurate, whether that was due to something(s) in the application that left the wrong impression, or whether the application was simply read wrong. (No need to add: Too many well qualified applicants! Too few seats! QMP didn’t play tuba! Move on! No way to find out! etc.) </p>
<p>However, there were other students in the class who were not admitted where I thought they should be. Nothing can be done if the student has been outright rejected, but if anyone is going to be taken from the waitlist, that outcome can sometimes be influenced (voice of experience). So instead of Monday-morning quarterbacking, I had one instance of “Hey! The overtime got extended to Monday morning! I’m still playing!” </p>
<p>I felt very good about the late-scoring touchdown–even though I acknowledge that not all of the students on the wait list had someone willing to go to bat for them.</p>
<p>Ok, back the original question. One of the funniest times that comment was made, or something close to it was regarding one of my son’s close friends from a small parochial school. There were the three boys who among the three of them once managed to get 52% on an project that they worked on together because they missed the whole point of the assignment though they did a bang up job on it. They were as ditzy as they came, and their lack of common sense made their parents and the teachers despair. </p>
<p>The school is a Christian Borothers school in the traditon of Edmund RIce who is in some process of becoming a Saint or Blessed, but one one of the things he needs is a miracle attributed to him. I remember going there one day and there was an uproar involving them, with the asst headmaster mumbling that Edmund Rice would have his miracle if the three of them ever graduated from there. Well, they did and four years after that when they graduated from high school, all three got into some selective colleges. One of them got into Harvard (in fact, graduated last year from there.) And the same asst headmaster, when he got the word that the one young man was going to Harvard, said, the same words as the title of this thread. True story.</p>
<p>Belaviasky: Again what is your end game with the SAT thing? I assure you it is meaningless as far as the elite universities go. If you are arguing that you were denied acess to a third rate university because preference was given to a first generation Mexican kid who had a SAT that was 50 points less than you. Please say so.</p>
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<p>Both my kids dropped several schools after getting into a top choice EA. They knew other kids who were applying to the same schools and wanted to give others a fair shot.</p>
<p>In S2’s senior year, 28 IB kids applied to Yale EA. Really?!? S2 applied to a different top school EA and had happy news in December. He was <em>really</em> thankful for pursuing a different strategy.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl I’m totally with you on not really knowing much about the kid’s classmates. If we knew the parents, and I’ve seen them at church or school functions, we chat about their relative status’. But, in general, I don’t know that many parents, and have succeeded in avoiding involvement with the PTSA or other such groups for their entire hs careers. It’s just really not me, and I have other work, so I leave it in the capable hands of the more involved parents. D’s friends, to the extent that I know them, I don’t even know their last names. I use the street name where I have had to deliver or pick them up (is that Susy Jefferson Lane?).</p>
<p>Hunt, your characterization of the “truly smart” vs the “study-study” does strike a negative chord with me, because I feel that it is much too simplistic. I realize that some people are “smarter” than others in various ways, but to reduce it to such terms is too much. </p>
<p>As an example, I would say that in college I had to study very hard to get my engineering degree (and it wasn’t just memorization and regurgitation), but since I aced many exams and graduated at the top of the Department, many of my classmates probably mistook me for one of the “truly smart”. The fact is that I was probably “smarter” than many of them, and “smart” relative to the material (despite the struggle).</p>
<p>"I didn’t assume that. I said that you don’t know whether it’s true. And you don’t. Even if 5% of the kids exaggerate their claims, that means that you do not know the truth of any data point. "</p>
<p>I dont really care whether it is the truth. I assume it is the truth and don’t care if someone wants to deliberately lie if 80% of the others seem genuine. It is not a study.</p>
<p>Knowing the truth content of who said what and a dollar will buy me a cup of coffee at the McDonalds.</p>
<p>Our kid’s school publishes a list of who went where each year. It does not tell us what other schools they turn down but we also have naviance for data points. The only reason any of this is relevant would be to see what type of kids are being accepted by which schools from our school.</p>
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<p>Likewise, knowing that some random classmate of my kid – not a close friend, but a random classmate – came in third in the state in the track meet and a dollar will buy me a cup of coffee at McDonald’s.</p>
<p>Actually Pizzagirl is the kind of parent I wouldn’t have to avoid at our school, because she has a realistic and balanced view of the college world and doesn’t feel the need to one-up others with her kids’ superiority. There are too many smug, competitive parents who live to brag about their kids and make disparaging comments about others’ choices. I have heard them about my son’s college, partly because it is not well-known/“elite” and partly because it is in the south. I find people like that insufferable.</p>
<p>“There are too many smug, competitive parents who live to brag about their kids and make disparaging comments about others’ choices. I have heard them about my son’s college, partly because it is not well-known/“elite” and partly because it is in the south. I find people like that insufferable.”</p>
<p>It sounds as if we may live in the same neighborhood. Preach on.</p>
<p>"Likewise, knowing that some random classmate of my kid – not a close friend, but a random classmate – came in third in the state in the track meet and a dollar will buy me a cup of coffee at McDonald’s. "</p>
<p>I am usually curious about what got someone in just like Sally’s friend. I do want to understand the dynamics of what might be great in someone’s profile that made that person attractive to several big name schools if that makes any sense.</p>
<p>I am both a pizzagirl parent and a stevema parent.</p>
<p>Three different kids = three different sets of friends and parents = three completely different experiences in terms of how much I know about my kids’ friends.</p>
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<p>Thank you, sally :-). I don’t think there’s really any right response IRL to finding out where some kid is going beyond “How exciting for him, I hope he enjoys his time there!” Whether it’s Harvard or East Directional State U.</p>
<p>@SomeOldGuy:</p>
<p>That settles it. I am going to start a new thread called “Smug Alert” (after the hilarious South Park episode of the same name). Stay tuned.</p>
<p>The time to be smug is when your kid graduates and actually lands a job in their field. Then bring on the brag!</p>
<p>I was really thankful that at S1’s school, there was a bulletin board of rejection letters. It was a good reminder to stay humble and to remember that no one has a lock on admissions.</p>
<p>Several parents asked me what S1’s SAT scores were and how many times he had taken the test (and were stunned that he never took the SAT until March of junior year, not even for talent searches). I didn’t reveal scores. S1 kept his scores and acceptances pretty low-key, giving the “I’m applying to UMD, a few other schools and Harvey Mudd, which is this awesome school…” Since noone had ever heard of Mudd in these parts, and S clearly loved the place, that became the topic of conversation. </p>
<p>However, one parent came up to me that year and said, “Well, since he got into X, I assume you’re not going to let him attend Y.” School Y is where he matriculated (quite happily and after much thoughtful consideration) and where that parent’s child was also accepted (and <em>really</em> wanted to attend) – but the parents pushed the Big(ger) Name acceptance. I was sad for S’s friend.</p>
<p>Long-time CCers know a lot more about my kids’s stats/acceptances than our neighbors or my relatives ever have (or will). It would have felt unseemly to start a chat in the driveway or at my parents’ house with, “and this week, S won AAA and was accepted to College Z.”</p>
<p>Post 293 - doesn’t that presuppose that there is some fixed set of characteristics that “win”? See, I don’t believe that. For every valedictorian who placed first in state in swimming who got in, there’s another person with the same characteristics who didn’t. All you can do is be the best you you can, and then roll the dice.</p>
<p>^A good fit is a good fit, and that’s all that should matter.</p>
<p>My kid will take the SAT for the first time in March. Is this a bad thing? How early do students take these tests?</p>