How did you handle your child's request to move out of the Dorms.

<p>Older D moved into an off campus single apt this (sr) year. It has been wonderful - no roommate issues, she cooks more, no mandatory food card (reqd with on campus apts), cheaper. It is hard keeping her to a food budget, though.
Younger D put together a spreadsheet of benefits of moving off campus to a shared house for next year (jr). It will probably be a go as well.
I wish #1D had moved off campus earlier. Her social life is actually better now as are her grades.</p>

<p>I listened to their reasons, explored the financial implications with them, and let them make the decision. It’s part of growing up.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone for your insights. I guess age is catching up on me as I left school >20 years ago. Back in my days, it was a blessing to have the opportunity to stay in the Dorms as accommodation for all the students was not guaranteed. His school guarantees at least 2 years of campus housing.</p>

<p>I would have preferred he stayed just one more year but he really wants to move out next school year. I am still adjusting with his leaving home as all my kids were day students. His sister is about to leave for college this Fall and so my ‘nest’ is undergoing some major overhaul. lol. I thought that I had comfortably ‘tucked’ him in after settling him in school last Fall but I guess he is growing up. Too fast! I have researched and found out that close to 70% of Undergraduates at his school lives outside of the dorm. So I am guessing that the dorm is probably not the best option. </p>

<p>@Nottelling
“Has he checked into the availability of apartments owned by the school? That’s usually a very safe option as the university has jurisdiction over the residents. I’m sure you’ve already thought of this, but make sure that each student has an individual lease with the landlord for only that student’s portion of the rent. If one of the students moves out two months into the lease, you don’t want to end up responsible for the departing student’s rent.”</p>

<p>It looks like the apartment he wants is university owned but I will ask him. He told me that each of his roommates will have a separate lease to sign.
They (3 of his friends and him) are renting a two bedroom apartment and there are 4 of them, with two sharing a room. This is similar to what he has now except that they are 8 (doubles) people in his suite and another eight adjacent.
He says it is noisy at night when people come in very late. He also told me that he has been waking up earlier now around 5am as against previous times, usually closer to seven at home. He used to be the one we waited for to get ready for school.</p>

<p>Regarding the paperwork, I don’t like doing them so I guess he has to take up that responsibility of taking care of them. We will just make sure his initial lease is good and he will have to take on the other aspect of making sure everything is turned in on time.</p>

<p>Auch! His present dorm has mostly students from his department, about 2 minutes walk and one of the most quiet one on campus. If only…</p>

<p>My daughter moved off campus after freshman year. I was resistant at first… I thought staying in the dorms, having a meal plan, being right on campus felt safe, predictable, etc. But my daughter was pretty resolute. She hated the lack of privacy in the dorms, and even though after her freshman year she probably could have gotten a single, she still felt the quarters were just too close. So, she found a place, she and her roommate from her freshman dorm moved in together (that was nice, because they’d both survived living together in one room for freshman year, so it was a pretty tested relationship).</p>

<p>Anyway, my concerns were really unfounded. She was much happier in an apartment with a room of her own. It was very close to campus, cheaper than the dorms (kind of a dumpy place, but really just fine, functional). She preferred cooking her own food and did a good job with bills and cleaning and shopping and all the rest. She lived with her roommate until she graduated. Now she lives on the other side of the country in a small apartment with her boyfriend. They are doing well, she’s working, he’s in grad school… I think living off campus while she was in school was actually a good thing as it turned out.</p>

<p>My other kid has lived on campus the whole time – virtually everyone does at his school, it is a very rare student who doesn’t – and I think he’s certainly less ready for his independent young adulthood than his sister. Obviously he’ll be fine in the long run, but I, at least, will feel more concern about his ability to take care of himself and all the responsibilities of adulthood since there’s no track record there. A completely residential college really is a cocoon, in a way. He’s been pretty much taken care of by the college and hasn’t had to do that for himself. He has loved the experience though, so kids are different and that’s okay too.</p>

<p>We have dodged this bullet for the four years older D is attending undergrad. The biggest concern we had with off campus living, was that all of the apartments were unfurnished. This would mean renting a truck to move her furniture (which we would have to purchase), and we weren’t sure how often we would have to move the furniture back and forth.</p>

<p>When I went to college, all of the off campus housing was furnished, so it was a complete surprise to me that her university didn’t have the same. Perhaps unfurnished apartments are a trend of the times, but it makes it a lot more inconvenient to move off campus.</p>

<p>Both of my S’s moved off campus after freshman year. Almost all of their friends did too. It’s pretty much the norm at big state u’s. They were glad they lived in the dorm for freshman year but were happy to move on to their own places. It was a good learning expereince to be responsible for for rent/food/cable/internet/utilities,handling any problems that came up with the house and learning how to live on a budget.</p>

<p>Our kids’ leases were year 'round so there was never any moving stuff back and forth. S2 lived in the same rental house for three years. DH and I took his bed to his house but other than that the kids handled it. They picked up used furniture in their college towns. Their places sort of resembled Animal House but they loved it and the location near campus was primo.</p>

<p>Also it was less expensive than living in the dorm and being forced to buy a meal plan.</p>

<p>Re: furniture. My D goes to school in DC and we’re in Texas. Obviously moving furniture from home was not viable. So we gave her money to buy a bed and she had it delivered. She will probably keep that bed for a loooong time. Then she and her roommates made a couple treks to Ikea for a dresser and a kitchen table. They “found” a sofa that someone was throwing away in their apt. complex. And voila - furnished apartment! Garage sales are also a great place to find college furniture.</p>

<p>Thanks for all the furniture ideas. I guess the “problem” we have, is that we have a bed, kitchen table and chairs, and sofa in storage that would be perfect for use in an apartment.</p>

<p>If we can’t dodge the bullet with our younger D, we’ll have to decide whether she should do the garage sale thing instead of us hauling the furniture out to her. I’m thinking garage sale…</p>

<p>My requirement was that the off-campus housing be walkable to classes - no shuttle bus or bike required. This also insured safety - being within the patroled area of campus.</p>

<p>D1’s college stayed on campus every year but year 2 they went to apartments. This was expected. D2 they move off campus year 2 or 3 and year 4 unless they are RA’s. This also was expected. Both worked out fine.</p>

<p>I lived off campus my senior year and what we (and many other off-campus students) did for much of the furniture was make use of the unofficial end-of-year “graduation garage sale” all over campus and the surrounding areas. Except for our beds, much of what we furnished our place with was stuff leaving students were not taking with them. It’s still something that happens-a friend of mine had an amazing couch-loveseat set he got from some med students leaving the area, and got his bookshelves and a chair that way too.</p>

<p>Also, Goodwill, Value Village (Savers) are great for this. I got my D a like-new office desk for $5 once, our solid wood dining room table is from Goodwill ($30), and our leather recliner is from a furniture consignment store. We got these things when money was tight, but I’m with Macklemore-why pay $50 for a t shirt when I can pay $1? We’ve kept this good furniture all these years.</p>

<p>ShanghaiMom, my S’s off-campus apt is literally across the street from campus, so the bike is for his convenience (he doesn’t like to walk) or the college shuttle bus in the winter when it is snowing. He has never felt unsafe biking around campus.</p>

<p>His complex is for students only, and is furnished with bed, dresser, desk, dining table/chairs and a sofa. There is also a pool and club room with pool table, which he doesn’t really use.</p>

<p>We did a couple of things…where we had to cosign, our kid had to find a place where we were ONLY consigning for HIS portion of the rent. In other words, we didn’t have any financial liability if a roomie didn’t pay or moved out.</p>

<p>Re: furniture…both of our kids bought their off campus housing furniture from the students who were moving out. It was a win-win. The kids leaving didn’t have to move the stuff out, and our kids acquired what they needed. In both cases, when they graduated and moved out, they sold the stuff to the next tenant.</p>

<p>I did not really give any thought to the furniture aspect. Now, that is something to think about. I will mention the end of the year graduation sale to him.</p>

<p>S2 accumulated quite a few pieces of furniture that were left on the curbs at the end of the semester. They got a sofa, loveseat and a recliner. S2 had his truck at school so it was an easy pick-up. He helped friends who didn’t have trucks move stuff to their places. Guys are more than happy to help pretty coeds move stuff into their apartments!</p>

<p>S1 and his roommate got two big old chest of drawers for their bedrooms from a second hand store in their college town. The chests had orignally been in dorm rooms.<br>
S1 also bought some used furniture off of craigslist in his college town. When he graduated, he put the furniture back on craigslist and sold it for almost what he paid for it.</p>

<p>See if he can talk to the current tenants. My kid just knocked on the door. The thing is…some landlords want the places empty so they can clean…others don’t care about that.</p>

<p>At the U where I work, lots of apartments near campus offer individual leases. This is good because if someone moves out early, the roomates are not liable for their share of the rent. But no one has mentioned the downside: the apartment management can replace the student who moved out with whomever they want.</p>

<p>Both my older kids did not care for the dorm. Too noisy 24/7 with people coming and going and both moved off campus for the remainder of college. We have rentals so the kids have grown up listening to ‘tenant’ problems, having to help their dad clean up other people messes and are well aware of the difference between good and bad tenants. They both found excellent - safe and clean - places to live, found their own beds and furniture and have managed to be “good tenants.” It has also saved us some money and we never needed to cosign.</p>

<p>That’s true motherbear. My S has a random apartment mate this quarter because one of his original room mates is on study abroad. He’s a pretty easy going kid, so I think he’ll be fine with it; if there was a major problem I think they would report it to the management. The apt has 4 BRs and 4 baths, so they all have their own space.</p>

<p>All the scrounging stories reminded me of my older D’s story - when she was moving into an apt one year, they found a Dyson vacuum in the trash room. She checked it out and decided it just needed a part, so she ordered a part and fixed it herself.</p>

<p>Regarding marian’s comment below, my S is planning to live in a mixed group next year, so it is possible at some places.</p>

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<p>Some such places will give the continuing residents a period of time in which to find a roommate on their own. If they don’t meet the deadline, then the landlord brings in someone from the waiting list. </p>

<p>One other thing you need to know about apartments like these is that the landlords generally require that all people sharing an apartment be of the same gender. This simplifies the problem of finding places for waiting list people. On the other hand, it limits the choices of mixed-gender groups who want to find an apartment together.</p>