<p>Me and my mom have been arguying because i want to study out-of-state. I've lived in New Jersey for most of my life, and i would like to move on to a different location. New Jersey has great school and all, but i find that i can get a better education at other colleges(which happen to be out-of-state) I really don't understand what her problem is with me leaving(both my older brother and sister left home at a young age) And its not like I'm leaving home for useless reasons. I ACTUALLY DO want to continue my education, so that i can be successful. There's also not many good business schools. Furthermore, by staying in-state, i will not have the "college experience", because i will be staying home:[</p>
<p><strong><em>How do i convince my mom that i should go to school out-of-state??</em></strong></p>
<p>this is a tough battle to win, may not even be winnable. The first problem is that your mom's real reasons may be things she's not willing to talk about. If her idea for your college years is for you to live at home, it seems she wants to keep close control over your life. And she may be unwilling to discuss this control, or what she fears you'll do if she doesn't have it. So she'll throw up smokescreen reasons and then refuse to budge even if her "reasons" are flimsy or just wrong.</p>
<p>In the end, money is control. If you need her to support you in college then you have much less leverage than if you can make it on your own. And as a HS-age kid you probably don't have the ability to earn enough to pay for it on your own, nor is it wise to take on loans that will keep you under water for literally decades to come.</p>
<p>Given that you have 2 siblings already moved out and living on their own perhaps you can swing some type of deal in which you live with them and attend a college in their area as a commuting student. You can do this whether your mom likes it or not. It may not be out of state, but at least its out of the house.</p>
<p>Anyway, I wish I had magic words to tell you that will convince your mom. Don't give up hope, try to talk about it with her, but realistically if she's already decided you're not leaving and that she won't budge it doesn't look too good.</p>
<p>Find a way to pay your own way: merit aid, ROTC, loans, work study, living at home and doing a gap year or 2 with Americorps (which will give you $,4,700 for up to 2 years to use for college ).</p>
<p>You know what, I'm just gonna say it. Your mom is flat wrong.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, her wrong-ness may cost you if you want to go out-of-state, in that you'll have to pay your own way. Do not commute, at least for the first year or two... by commuting, you WILL miss out on the college experience. You're about to graduate high school... college is another step into adulthood, which means taking responsibility for making the best choices to get you where you want to be. You need to go to a college you want to go to. Convince her it's the best academic fit for what you want to do (or if you don't know what you want, show her the wide range of things - classes and extracurriculars - to dabble in to find what you like). And what mother wouldn't want her child to experience the growth that comes along with having to fend for yourself in a new place withOUT that option of calling mommy and daddy ten minutes away? Granted, the "I want to go far from home" thing sounds to her just as bad as "You need to stay home" sounds to you. That's why you need an arsenal of specific, well-thought-out reasons that she can't argue with - ie academic, extracurricular, life experience. Everything is at your fingertips in New Jersey - learning a different way of life and having to fend for yourself where it might not be as easy to get around is an invaluable lesson.</p>
<p>By the way, I'm from New Jersey and just graduated from TCNJ. I originally went to school four hours from home before transferring there for a better social and academic fit. It's a great school.... one that I was dead set against as a high school senior and my parents wanted me to apply to. If that's where she's trying to make you go, it really is a great place... but you should not go to a school because you're forced because you'll just be resentful and miserable. It was great when that's where I decided I wanted to transfer to, but that experience of trying out a new place was great. If I went in NJ originally, I probably would have been home every weekend.</p>
<p>If you're from South Jersey and go to school in Philly, or you're from North Jersey and go to school in NYC, she would be ridiculous not to let you go.</p>