<p>I'm 19 years old. I did one year at a university & then one semester at a community college, forced by my parents. My mom made a deal with me at the beginning of the semester that if I went to the community college & got my GPA up, I could go back to the university the following semester AND live on campus & that she would pay for it. WELL....I got my grades up to her standards. And now she is trying to back out of it, because OVER a year ago I told her I lost my virginity to my boyfriend that I'm currently still with after 15 months. And I was 18 when I lost it. Ever since it happened, she hasn't let it go, & uses it as an excuse to not let me go back to the university and live on campus. All because "I'm not a virgin." That's not something I can change. =/ My boyfriend goes there as well. I live with my mom & stepdad & they make ALOT of money, so money isn't even an issue. Before I started even started college, I was 17, & she was practically BEGGING me to live on campus. Now she's not only backing out of a deal she made with me, but she's backing out just because it's something I desperately want. I want to live on a college campus and experience what it's like to actually feel like a REAL college student. I came from a small high school & had a graduating class of 23 students. I told her that I'm the only person in my graduating class that is in college & lives with my parents. So she even went so far as to get out the school directory from my senior year & CALL the parents of all 23 of the students to make sure I was right!! I keep talking to her & she comes up with excuse after excuse as to why she won't let me, AND denies that she ever even made the deal with me. Saying that if I wanted to prove her right, I should have gotten it in writing. Please don't tell me to get financial aid because I don't qualify for any due to my parent's income. =/ Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>hmm, well what is she worried about? If money is not an issue, maybe you can rent out a dorm room on campus, and only live there a few weeks as a trial… show that u can keep your grades up…</p>
<p>Guilt trip.</p>
<p>Your mother is insane. Milk her for whatever money you can and never allow her contact with your eventual children.</p>
<p>Get a job. =)</p>
<p>No seriously. Cut a deal with your mom. Tell her that you’ll keep your grades up if she allows you to continue at the university and pay for it and that you’ll pay for the room/board part of things.</p>
<p>Can you find somewhere to live off campus the school year? I am currently a freshmen at The University of Iowa and plan to live off campus next year. Like most schools around 25% of the students live on campus, and over half are usually fresmen.</p>
<p>Excuse me?? This is a forum for offering ADVICE about the initial THREAD. And for your information, YES, I DO believe parents are obligated to pay for child’s college. The only parents I’ve ever seen who don’t pay for their’s child’s college are parents who can’t afford it, which they would IF THEY COULD because they desperately love their child & want them to succeed in life. Why else would parents LIKE MINE constantly nag you about your grades in high school & ACT scores & be so worried about “preparing you for college?” What sense does it make for a parent to push their kid that they MUST go to college, then turn around & tell them they have to pay for it? ESPECIALLY when the parents have the money to cover it. If it’s “to teach them responsibility,” then how is that student going to learn responsibility unless they GO to college and get a real job above minimum wage? My parents had their college paid for them by their parents, & their parents were POOR. Trust me, EVERY student I’ve talked to at my university either is drowning in loans because their parents can’t afford it, or their parents pay their college. My parents had no problem with willingly paying my college, until I lost my virginity. Do you think that’s acceptable too? And another thing, my stepdad is retired, & my mother doesn’t work. Yet they have extra money to buy a BRAND NEW Mercedes Benz, finance 3-4 vacations a year, are trying to OWN a $500,000 condo in Florida, AND my mother is planning a very expensive cosmetic prodecure. Yet you want to sit here & tell me I’M the selfish one?? You want to tell me that that is perfectly ok that they’re spending money like it’s nothing on VERY expensive things THEY want when they have kids who come first? And regardless of the fact of whether I’m “entitled” to their money or not, WHICH I AM, this is a matter of my mother made a deal with me, & went back on her word. And in my family, we stick to deals & follow through. Yes that is a personal matter, but when you accused me of lying to my mother, that was pretty personal. Not to mention has NOTHING to do with the thread. If you have any helpful advice, let’s hear it. If all you want to do is tell people they’re selfish & need to “grow up,” go join the parent’s forum. Please and Thank You.</p>
<p>Before you go, explain to me what I “lied” about. I’m quite curious.
“it seems to me that you may have lied to her in the past. Why else would she seek to verify your assertions?”</p>
<p>Perhaps your parents don’t want you to attend the same school as your boyfriend. If your education and living on campus are your priorities, what about transferring to a college separate from your boyfriend? They may agree to that arrangement because it will prove to them that this less about being with your boyfriend and more about getting an education.</p>
<p>In a way I think parents are obligated to pay for college. Since the student’s financial aid is based off the parent’s income it’s kind of unfair to say the student is on her own in terms of money. I don’t think it should be this way but I can’t think of a better way.</p>
<p>What if you like offer to live in the dorms where people pledge to stay away from drugs and alcohol and stuff like that? Or the whole virginity thing makes me think your family is religious. What if you find some religious group on campus that will show your mother not all students on campus are horny heathens? </p>
<p>Have you been acting responsibly while living at home? I know you said you got good enough grades but what about your behavior? Have you been acting maturely and going above and beyond what is expected of you? You know like helping out when no one asked you to and things like that.</p>
<p>Another thing I would suggest is paragraphs. It’s very difficult to get through your giant walls of text.</p>
<p>
Paul, watch your words because you clearly have no idea what you’re talking about.
There are several situations in which a parent would legally be obliged to pay for a child’s college tuition.</p>
<p>This probably isn’t the case with the op though. Sounds like an overbearing religious mom to me. OP, sorry, but I’ve got no advice. But out of curiosity, what is the religious background? It may give insight for how to best approach your mother.</p>
<p>nysmile:
While it is true that my parents hate my boyfriend on a very deep level, when did I say that this is all about my boyfriend? I didn’t even meet him until AFTER I started at this college.</p>
<p>Johnson181:
My mom is “Christian/non-denominational.” She claims to be a “Christian,” but morphs the rules of Christianity into her own beliefs so that it makes her look like she’s always right. She also gets MAJORLY offended when people call her “religious,” even though she DEFINITELY is.</p>
<p>But her beliefs are strange. She’s not so much concerned if I would go out to clubs & drink alcohol & party, or even smoke, as long as I don’t have sex. She’s OBSESSED with people not having sex until marriage. Yet she was pregnant with me before she got married. </p>
<p>So yeah…basically calls herself a Christian, but everything is fine as in getting drunk, partying etc. but as long as I don’t have sex. =/ weird…</p>
<p>NotAClue:
Sorry for the giant paragraph. And I COMPLETELY agree with what you said about financial aid depending on the parent’s income. So true, & so unfair.</p>
<p>Like I replied to Johnson181, my family is EXTREMELY religious. At least my immediate family is (the ones I live with that are the only ones in the entire family that can afford it, unfortunately). </p>
<p>Also, my behavior at home is above & beyond what is expected. I clean up after myself, help younger siblings with homework, do all my own laundry, clean the entire house (for pay & sometimes for free) once a week, obey all rules & curfews (sometimes even coming home before curfew to make good impressions), & maintaining a job while in school.</p>