This is so tough. I empathize with parents who don’t want their kids to go too far away (however they define that). I think it’s important to understand the logistics of traveling to and from ANY school and to be open to the idea of traveling (or not) on most breaks.
In our situation, Bama was cheaper than our in-state flagship, so the travel costs involved (and for us that means, for the most part, direct flights and a short car ride from BHM) are not an issue and, frankly, are much preferred to a 4-hour drive to State College.
In the end, I left the choice up to my son (and I was thrilled he had choices!), and he surprised me when he chose Bama.
The other finalist (comparable in cost for us to PSU) was a school in MN, and our travel there was anything but easy. My son didn’t like the school anyway once we visited, but I won’t lie, I was thrilled we wouldn’t ever have to make that trip again for college, even though I loved the school and the area.
How far are you from an airport with easy flights to BHM? (Having seriously considered a school in Iowa for my kid, I know it’s not the easiest state to get around in or in and out of.)
I would make a pro/con list of both schools and share that with your folks. Highlight any opportunities Bama will afford you that Iowa State won’t. As others have suggested, share with them how important you believe it is for you to spread your wings, but also reassure them that just because you go to school in the South, it doesn’t mean you’re destined to remain there.
In the end, though, if your folks won’t budge, I would suggest deferring to their wishes. They’re paying the bills and they may have legitimate reasons for you to remain closer to home. Ideally, they would level with you with regard to what their specific objections actually are. Out of curiosity, did they attend college themselves?