I am going to be a sophomore in college this year and a transfer student to a new university. One of my best friends from high school goes there also and we are trying to get a room together but probably won’t be able to. However, even though I will have him by my side and I will be in the city (which I really enjoy) I am so nervous even a month out that it’s even affecting my stomach and heart rate. It kind of just hit me yesterday how soon I’m leaving (August 26th), and I have really enjoyed my summer with my old routine. One of my relatives passed away a couple of weeks after I got home from school in May, so that was a rough week, but besides that, my summer has been great. I have enjoyed being with my old friends and being at my hometown job again that I’ve had for 4 years, but I am extremely nervous all of a sudden about this transition and how homesick I tend to get (last year was awful because I had no friends at my old college and it was in the middle of nowhere). I know I will still have my old routine back over winter and summer breaks, and I’m so close to home (40 mins) that I can regularly still see other friends. Barring extenuating circumstances, I am going to try not to visit home at all until a month after I get there so I can get adjusted. I feel like I will always feel this way at the end of long breaks. Driving back to my old college after winter break, my dad and I stopped to eat at our favorite restaurant in our hometown along the way (a place we go every single Thursday night when I am home) and I couldn’t eat a thing because of how sick I was with nervousness and stress. I do not want to feel this way as it comes closer to be time to leave, despite how excited I am as well. I am also going on a week long cruise with friends literally two weeks before I leave, and I don’t want my time to be ruined by intense anxiety, especially because I will be away from my parents for that week, then come home for a week, pack up and leave for school. Again, I am excited about this change, but I feel like this nervousness I am suddenly feeling is excessive, more than just normal jitters. I don’t want to be incapacitated on move in day either from nerves. I talked to my mother every night at my old school, but I’d rather do it a couple of times a week now to avoid homesickness, but she enjoys our conversations so much I feel like she’d be hurt. So do any parents or current students have any advice to give me on how to ease my really intense nervousness/separation anxiety? It doesn’t affect me every day lately, just some days, and it sucks because I am excited as well, but the transition is terrifying, even though I am only 40 mins away from home (I am staying on campus because traffic going into the city could be really unpredictable and I don’t want that to interfere with my schoolwork). It also feels like just yesterday that my summer was beginning and it’s already over, so that is also tough.
Have you heard of Anxiety Disorder? If your nervousness is debilitating, then it may be time to get medical help.
Do you remember how it was freshman year? were you equally as nervous? If so, did everything turn out all right?
or is this new anxiety?
Participate in all the transfer student events. You will meet people quickly.
As soon as you get on campus, make an appointment at the counseling center. Appointments fill up quickly, so don’t wait. Meanwhile, look up deep breathing onljne and do it as often as necessary. It calms you instantly and is very effective. Look up all the different ways you can keep calm. There is a lot you can do to help yourself. Finally, you just have to get through this, and it may be tough, but you will be fine. If you take it a day at a time and stop thinking about the cummulstive issues, you will be better off. Just get through today.
Before you go on your cruise try to free your mind of the things you can control by getting as much done as possible- paperwork, appointments, the major packing. Also explain to your mother about the rules you have imposed on yourself to aid in your transition- not visiting home and only calling her x times per week. She will most likely understand completely.
On a cruise you are literally in a different world. Take full advantage of the time with friends, fresh air, and exercise to return relaxed and refreshed.
As mentioned above, try deep breathing, and other techniques such as meditation, yoga or cardio exercise to see what helps you to destress the best. When you start to feel panicked, use your techniques to calm yourself. It sounds like you have a great group of friends and family to support you.
Thanks to those who replied. This is different every day because today I feel absolutely no nervousness. Sometimes I get nervous before I leave home because I feel like I could very well be leaving forever because of things that come up during breaks. I know that many students do not come home for breaks, but I am the type of student who wants to spend his breaks at home in order to connect with old friends and family and recharge. However, I know that most students do NOT come home for any breaks, including summer and Christmas, and I worry that things will come up which prevent me from doing so. Again, I am excited to go away, but I guess my main nervousness is invested in the fact that there is always a possibility I will not come home again. I just have to stop worrying about the future and cross those bridges when I come to them, if it ever does happen.
Try not to think about everything all at once. You can’t predict the future, but if being home during breaks then do what you can to find work or internships that align with your ability to live at home at those times. It’s really irrelevant what other college students do during breaks. There’s no one way or right way. Take one day at a time. Get up everyday and do what you need to do to keep moving forward that day.
Regarding your mother, tell her you are going to try to get involved more in your new school and will call her on … day each week. She is a grown up and will understand. If you want to call her every night and it helps you, go ahead.
Worry – I’ve hear it said that 90% of the thing we worry about don’t happen. If you want to come home on the first break, make a plan. One break at a time. Have a plan and then you don’t have to worry about it.
@beachguy20 Just try to breath and relax. You will be 40 minutes away from home. You will be able to come home many times during the year! I live in a city where it took my daughter 40 minutes to get to high school and back everyday. You could come home for a quick mid-week dinner with the fam being so close to home! So try not to stress about the little things. But you’re right, you shouldn’t come home every weekend because that will hinder your ability to forge friendships at your new school, but if you find yourself getting extremely lonesome for home, you know it is only a short trip away. Keep that in the back of your mind always. Good luck!
Oh, I didn’t see that you were only 40 min away. You don’t even need to plan to go home. Wonderful! You have the best of both worlds. You get to be away and spread your wings without the inconveniences.