I’m going to be leaving for college in about a week. My roommate is a girl I don’t know, but I’ve reached out to her. I hear that making a roommate agreement is a good idea, but when should I suggest we make one? I’m also not sure how to talk about stuff like visitors. I am definently not comfortable with guys staying overnight, or having huge groups of people in my dorm. I don’t know how to tell my roommate this without rudely implying that I think she’s that kind of person.
I’d wait until you get there before you start laying down rules. Often the RA’s will be the ones to initiate the roommate agreement. If not, once you are there and settled in you can just ask whether she wants to talk about a roommate agreement.
On the one hand you don’t want to go “hi new roommate, I have a probelm with huge groups of people in our room” but you also don’t want pandemonium. Your RA may have a floor/dorm meeting and mention agreements. You might wait and see what your roommate is like. You might say something after a week or two “I heard about someone who had a guy spend the night without asking…that made me think that we should discuss a roommate agreement so that we can make sure we are on the same page.”