<p>So I recently found out who my roommate is, and I've been talking to him on facebook for a while now. Every time I bring up something he is so low key about it. For example, I tried talking about setting up "rules" and he just said "I'm not about rules, just common curtsey." So far I have nothing in common with him except for when I mentioned that I was kinda a nerd he just said "hahaha me too." Like nothing is getting said or done and I've nervous we are going to run into problems later because we didn't talk about them.</p>
<p>He seems pretty laid back or doesn’t really want to worry about things if he doesn’t have to. There isn’t really much you can do if the other party doesn’t have the same concerns as you or doesn’t communicate the way you want.</p>
<p>His common courtesy rule is a good ONE. Please don’t insist on “rules”. If you like things a particular way, say so when it comes up and move on. Allow him to just be if he isn’t encroaching on your space.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t worry about it. Some people just don’t communicate the same way that you might or aren’t worried about the same things you are. Wait until you start school, and talk to him in person. Or if he seems really uninterested in any of that, then just bring things up as they happen. Alternatively, if there’s something that you know will bother you, you can tell him about it when you guys move in together, and then just bring up other things as they happen. Chances are, he might not do anything that bothers you, and you guys never really needed to talk about rules in the first place =D</p>
<p>Also, it’s often easier to do things in person. Stop asking him about it facebook and wait until you guys are actually living together. Your dorms might also have things in the beginning of the year to facilitate this–my school had different handouts they gave everyone about common disagreements between roommates, and one place I lived made everyone meet with hour RA to set up a contract with house rules. Your school or RAs might give you an opening to ask about different things your worried about. You really don’t need to do anything now. I didn’t talk to my roommates before I moved in with them, and we never had a problem with each other.</p>
<p>You also don’t need to have loads in common with him or even be good friends. Some people get really close with their roommates and others have nothing in common and make friends elsewhere. As long as you guys are respectful of each other, everything will be fine.</p>
<p>I feel the establishment of rules are better executed in person. Over Facebook, you may come off in a way that you didn’t mean to. </p>
<p>Everything will come into place when you guys are actually living together. For now, really all you guys can do is converse on what your buying, what your “colors” are, and…yeah.</p>
<p>So we dropped the rules thing and we were just talking about other stuff. Now I’m just about to ask about buying stuff. So other like microfidges and stuff, and else should I run by him before I buy?</p>
<p>Why would Zombie need to worry about “colors”? His whole room is a medical ward white… To me that is flexible for two distinct “colors”. </p>
<p>But seriously there is a difference between “talk” and “text”. You have only been texting(messaging) him. You need to address who is bringing what for things being shared. This may include: Microwave, fridge, rug/carpet, hot pot, steam iron/board, vacuum, mirror, sofa/futon. I’m sure your roommate will want to discuss shared items. This NEED to be done through however you’re messaging him now. When you meet, that’s when you discuss rules, a/c, heat, which side of the room, share schedules, discuss family history, when you can have guests over, when you sleep/get up, etc.</p>
<p>Well some of these things can be discussed before getting there. But yeah if your roommate don’t respond well to… texts, you might want to back off a little. Oh and rules should be discussed once you moved in not long before -_-</p>
<p>Don’t worry too much about these things. Your RA will be holding floor meetings the first week or two on campus, and will address things like room mate “contracts” etc.</p>
<p>Realize that right now, you don’t really know what you want the rules to be! You haven’t yet spent a day on campus, you haven’t yet figured out how you want to live. </p>
<p>My oldest son and his room mate initially had disagreements over whether studying in the room or socializing /hanging out in the room should have priority. They decided to alternate weeks where each of them had first dibs on using the room as he desired from after dinner til 11 pm. After all, there are a lot of places to study (dorm study lounges, coffee shops, student center, and of course the libraries) and lots of places to socialize as well. But sometimes you want to study in your room, or watch a movie or game with just a couple of friends. Both room mates have equal rights to do either in their room. So it is good to work out a system that recognizes both people and their desires equally, without saying one need or desire is right or wrong, better or worse–</p>
<p>By the way, my son and his room mate lived together 3 of 4 years in college, and the room mate was my son’s best man at his wedding.</p>
<p>Also don’t worry too much about “stuff”</p>
<p>Bring what you want for yourself…and not too much of it, because rooms are small and you won’t want to live in overflowing clutter. If neither of you bring something you jointly decide you want, it’s easy to order it on line (Amazon Prime/free shipping for students) will get you pretty much whatever you want in two days or so.</p>
<p>LOL Descuff. Guys can have colors, too!</p>
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I suggest discussing who get’s what side. Me and my roommate both know who is getting what in the room.</p>
<p>LOL rules…I’m not sure I’ve ever known a pair of roommates in college who set up “rules” with one another… Just be normal and nice and communicate, it really shouldn’t be that hard to get along. This is not elementary school. You’ll be fine!</p>
<p>You know, when I went to college, I had only exchanged one snail mail letter with my roommate. We didn’t have PC’s back then! I brought whatever I was bringing (fridge, etc) and she brought her stuff. Everything fit, and we didn’t have to share. Whatever I had that she didn’t she asked if she wanted to use, and vice versa. We agreed that whatever was out of sight (in a closet, bureau, desk) was not available for borrowing, just to be clear. That was it. We worked other stuff out as we went along. It wasn’t until the boy friend with the studded dog collar and whip started sleeping over all the time that we had our first real argument!</p>
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Oh Nah! Oh snap! Nah, nah! You did NOT just say that! You so wrong lmao! I’ve seen some people do some pretty colorful stuff. That kid didn’t do much to his though…</p>
<p>anyway back on topic I really really REALLY want to ask him so many jacked up questions lmao. Like I want to know if he is into the party scene, if he plans on having sex with people in our room, what his sleep habbits are like, lmao just EVERYTHING. But I have to control myself…sigh… lol</p>
<p>Anyway @Descuff thanks for the list. Though idk how to bring it up to him without sounding like I’m nagging. I found out his family is SUPER rich (Yeah I do all my research on people) and I’m like super poor. I so want him to take care of the big ticket items like the microfrige so I have more money in my pocket, since I have to pay out of pocket for that and I don’t even have a job. Suggestions?</p>
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Lemme hold yo earrings, Zombie. Y’all finna fade. </p>
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Don’t. Ask. Him. This. On. Facebook. Don’t. Just. Don’t. </p>
<p>I say 50/50 for buying big ticket expenses. Just because he has more money than you doesn’t mean he should foot the bill. Talk over what items you guys both want. And then look into what’s affordable for you.</p>
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Get my rings and bling too. I’m bout to sho this ninja wha it means to live the thug life! </p>
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Yeah, yeah I know. I know…I just so wish that people were more upfront about their lives though, oh well… lol</p>
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Make very certain that he understands you’re not asking about yourself when you say “people”(for example, don’t point at your ass when you say that). That would be really awkward.</p>
<p>^Danget if only you told me before I did that. Now my bum hurts for nothing. </p>
<p>LOL! No, no no. I don’t want to get this thread deleted, so back on topic! Any other suggestions!?</p>