So, it’s a pretty serious issue to me… I don’t have any close friends.
For all my four years of high school, I always had a group of people I would hang out in band, but I always felt isolated because I am,let’s say, not interested at all in what they do…like girls, new Xbox game, jamming, etc etc…so naturally, I felt quite distant from my group. They DO like me, but whenever I hang out with them, I was always the one who would call first.
Now I am in college, and I still feel same; There is a group of people I hang out mostly, but it’s same thing all over again. Sometimes I don’t even know why I hang out with them if I can’t even relate to what they are interested or what they are talking about. I just can’t feel any similarity between me and them, and I feel awful lonely. Two days ago, they went to Walmart without even telling me.
Am I being overly sensitive? Or has anyone had a similar experience? I would appreciate POLITE inputs.
Friendships are weird balance between working and not trying too hard. If you really like these friends, maybe try to get closer to some of them, learn who they are and open up to them. But if you’re not really committed to the friendship like that, then look elsewhere, see what comes out of some of the acquaintances you surely have.
As for them going to Walmart without you, it’s hard for us to judge whether you’re being too sensitive because we don’t know the whole situation. I have plenty of friends who do stuff together without me, because they know or think I’m not interested (they’re usually right). Maybe they didn’t know you wanted to go too? I would jump to the conclusion that it’s a vast conspiracy to not include you.
I don’t think you should force it you know. Time will come and you will meet new friends with common interests. How did you even meet these guys? Do you have a hobby? Join a club that involves your hobby and you will make friends with common interests as you.
I’ve made my closest friends through random living situations. It doesn’t always work out like that, but believe me, it’s really nice when it does.
Besides that, I didn’t start interacting with most of the people I would consider good friends until last spring, my sophomore year. That was in our data structures class (we’re CS majors), where I partnered with someone because we happened to have similar schedules. We ended up hitting it off and in turn I ended up meeting some of her friends from previous classes. I still talk to most of them, and more recently me and my old partner partnered again in another class. I’m currently in my second consecutive quarter working with someone I met through my data structures partner, and we’ve gotten pretty close.
Basically, try interacting with people in your major. That in and of itself gives you guys some common ground to talk about. Beyond that, try joining a club or two that you’re really interested in. Again, just by going to that club you know that the people there have some common ground to talk about with you.
My D is in same boat. She joined a few groups and is making some friends she connects with second semester. I told her I found my tribe and kindred friends sophmore year. She loves one of the clubs she joined but still has not connected with many people. I told her maybe you are one of those people that have a few close friends. She recently made a friend who is her lab partner. Just keep moving along the course of your college education and those with similar interests will be on on the same path. I promise you, that you will meet people. You are not alone.
I understand what you’re going through because I’m having a similar situation in high school. However, like many says, time comes and you will find new interesting friends. You cannot obligate yourself to become friends with people , it’s a natural thing. They probably went to Wal Mart without you because they knew that you might not enjoy it and therefor not speak throughout the leisure. Don’t be sensitive and don’t waste your time trying to act like a friend. Not everybody shares the same interests.
I do me, and don’t mind what others do, even if I’m lonely. In fact, sometimes I talk to grown ups or people working in school just to improve my social skills.