<p>TV - To break it down, there were 17 weeks in the academic calendar, 2 were final exams, so 15 weeks of instruction. Missing 3 weeks is 1/5 of the semester.</p>
<p>edit to add…I like to break things down when I talk to my student as he tends to ‘speak this language’. He’s analytical. When he started his first semester I calculated the cost/credit hour based on number of classes, credit hours/week, and tuition/semester. I think each 3 credit class was a cost of $56 so he needed to think about that any time he wanted to skip a class and he was welcome to transfer the funds to my account. I like to put things in perspective.</p>
<p>There’s no way my kids, both Computer Science majors, could possibly have ‘taken off’ for half or more of not just the weekend but very long weekends (Thu-Sun). They couldn’t possibly have gotten the work done in the shortened timeframe. CS is a difficult major requiring a lot of work and I don’t know how your D’s major or courseload compares with it but 7 long weekends away is a huge amount of potential study/HW time not being used. </p>
<p>She likely is ‘not’ working as hard as she could be which is likely affecting her grades. She needs to realize she can’t take as much time off as she’s taking if she wants to do better.</p>
[quote]
I know she is going to class, as well as studying a LOT, but I also know she isn’t studying the recommended 2 hours for every 1 hour of lecture.[\quote]</p>
<p>To me “studying a LOT” doesn’t mesh with “isn’t studying the recommended 2 hours for every 1 hour of lecture”.</p>
<p>Maybe it would help to sit down with an hour-by-hour calendar and help her plot out her day. If she spends time during the day studying, then hopefully she still has time to feel like she has a life while getting her study time in.</p>
<p>Also, students who aren’t strong in reading will need to allocate more time to reading intensive classes. That may not feel fair, but it’s reality.</p>
<p>The good news is she can improve her grades by taking one simple step. Stay at school instead of taking a bunch of 4 day weekends during the term. </p>
<p>Saturday and Sunday are critical to keeping up with the books. She must be very smart to get decent grades while maintaining her “Jet Setting” lifestyle. :)</p>
I had my S do that after he got a rousing 1.54 his first semester. Turns out he had allotted a grand total of one hour a week for homework/studying!</p>
<p>I love this thread. A kid gets a C her first semester of her first year of school in a class known for a tough prof, which basically means grade deflation (any other prof and its a B), and we are helping her strategize.</p>
<p>With my oldest, I told her a lot about school was about priorities. At one point she was getting a C in a class, I asked her if she cared? If she wanted to put the time in to pull it up? or if she had other priorities?</p>
<p>She said, “I have other priorities.”</p>
<p>“Quit whining about the C, then. Who cares?”</p>
<p>The kid has a verrry high GPA, but over the years, in her stem major, the occaisonal C. So what???</p>
<p>I would still suggest to her, if she were my kid, that she stay on campus for the weekends. For entirely social reasons, though.</p>
<p>Pulling something you said, TV, from another post, your DD didn’t score higher than a 2 on any AP exam and you think your high school is quality. I am going to beg to differ over that quality and say that her B average is at or better than where her AP scores indicate she should be. I don’t know what her ACT/SAT scores were or which “top school” she is at but it sounds like she IS working to her ability. Just for comparison sake, we had 680some AP scholars+ (scholars, scholars with distinction, etc.) between our junior and senior class this past year out of about 1000 kids. That means that 3/4th of our kids are averaging a 3 or better on at least 4 AP tests…these are the kinds of kids she is up against at her college. A B-B+ average is good.</p>
<p>While I agree 1 C first term freshman year is not something to cause great angst, I do think that unfortunately a student has to keep an eye on their GPA. My younger son’s GPA was 2.99999 and it shut him out of a number of internships and study abroad programs. Interestingly he’s had an opportunity to study in other study abroad programs and has a 4.0 so far in courses that don’t count in his GPA at his home university.</p>
<p>The problem I see is not the C but the fact you said that she missed a lab which caused her grade to drop a letter. So she did do B work but because she couldn’t get to a lab on a Thursday night it dropped to a C. </p>
<p>This is what I would have a big problem with. Not the C but that it was preventable. Going away for the weekend should never take priority over a missed assignment. It doesn’t matter if the lab was rescheduled for Saturday afternoon or the middle of night.</p>
<p>My kids had an occasional C, it happens but this is their job and missing labs or any assignments is not acceptable to me.</p>
<p>But, this is kind of what they learn in college. 1. they can’t do everything. 2. they have to set priorities. 3. Occaisonally, they have to take a B or C because they can’t get it done.</p>
<p>This is like life.</p>
<p>We don’t all do everything 100%. It’s not possible. We learn to make choices. And the choices we make reveal our priorities to us. Not the other way around, no matter what anybody thinks.</p>
<p>Given that I think I know where she is from earlier posts, here is my take. That is a tough school. Adjusting to the grading system (homework “freebie” points no more, lots of essay tests esp in history, etc) is only done with experience- which she has now. There will be people- not a ton, but some- who will fail out this year. She will know them and it may well be a wake up call. I’d relax until May. See what happens second semester. The adjusting should be over, she’s seen her friends at other places, etc. Hopefully it will all come together.
I would say this. I think 7 weekends away is quite excessive, although I’m going to go with 6 since Fall Break is Fall Break… She needs to stay on campus, and she needs to use the weekends to study. Hopefully she will figure that out. She’s clearly a smart girl.</p>
<p>My D was so hard on herself all through high school. She had melt downs over possible A-'s. I was very much like her and continued to be that way in college. I had to keep a 3.5 to keep my full tuition scholarship, but I was obsessed with getting As. Our grades always came on Christmas Eve and every year my parents had to deal with me having a meltdown over an A- or B+. I graduated with a 3.72 but was always freaking out about my grades. I think I missed out on a lot of fun and interesting things because I was psycho about grades. The reality is, if I’d gotten a 3.5 with less stress, my life would have been no different. </p>
<p>Before she left for college, I was worried she would do what I did. I told her that she was going to a school that would be more challenging and reminded her she would competing against other kids who were the cream of the crop. I also told her there was a lot to learn in college besides just academics. I suggested strongly that as long as she was getting at least a 3.0, she shouldn’t freak out. She should do her best and learn as much as she could but she should enjoy her college experience. </p>
<p>This term, she was very worried about one class (which may end up being a C, we don’t know for sure yet). She wasn’t sure she would pass it, but she did with at least a C (teacher curves things significantly). Another class gave her some trouble at first but she did a lot better as the term went on. We don’t have her final GPA yet, but I think she’ll have at least a 3.0 and perhaps a little better. In the meantime, she went on a campaign trip with the Columbia Democrats, was active in the Columbia Marching Band and engaged in an Emerging Leaders Program. If she had not done any of those things, she might have studied more hours and done a little better, but it is hard to know. I think those activities carry value in and of themselves.I don’t want her beating herself up over not being perfect in school. I want her to be healthy and well rounded.</p>
<p>I’m so proud of my D for getting her first B in college without melting down over it. She worked very hard for that B. I joked that maybe now she can try for a B-. She’s a junior at a very hard school and is also very hard on herself. She also got an A that she didn’t think she deserved. So she jokes about how it all evens out, which is what I’ve always told her. We’ve come so so far toward a healthy attitude. </p>
<p>I only mention this because we all (parents and our kids) have to navigate our expectations with the realities and tradeoffs of life. </p>
<p>OP, I don’t think ANY action on your part is required. She’s in college now and she doesn’t have to live up to your expectations. The training wheels are off. If she does well enough to go to graduate school and wants to, she will. If not she won’t. All you have to do is give advice if she asks for it. If she doesn’t ask for it, don’t give it. Easy.</p>
<p>First, from what I can figure out, if you can hit the 3.0 mark, you really don’t have to worry much about getting some sort of job–perhaps not the one you wanted, but A job. For many jobs, once you hit that 3.0 line, it’s about different things. Campus ECs especially leadership positions, internships, personality in interviews, etc. </p>
<p>Second, unless you’re talking about law school, that C will make NO difference in grad school plans if she isn’t planning to go on in history. Getting into grad school is about grades in your major, recs from professors, publications/lab experience, etc. </p>
<p>Third, most people don’t go on to grad school. Reading this board, you’d assume that 75% of college grads get advanced degrees. It’s just not the case.</p>
<p>You say she missed 21 days of studying by being away for seven weekends. I hate to be the bearer of news…but most college kids don’t spend the WHOLE weekend studying.</p>
<p>The take away messages for me are few:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>She cannot miss classes to go away…PERIOD. </p></li>
<li><p>One C grade her first semester of college in a hard course that is not her area of strength…well…it’s not the end of the world.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>What was her overall GPA? If it was 3.0 or better…or close…I would let this go!</p>
<p>Wow! A “C” - not having worked as hard as she could have - what a drama. The only problem I really see is if she really thinks other kids are much smarter than her - she might loose heart. I used to remind my kids that C=competent - they never listened to me then and they still do not and go for the A’s. Taking time off from school, even if you can’t really afford it, is a thing students just have to do sometimes.
What’s more important is does she enjoy school? Is she interested and get exited about some of the knowledge she receives? Does she ever talk about something great she learned or read? That’s the heart of going to school and learning and yes - that’s often how you get the A as well.</p>
<p>You say she missed 21 days of studying by being away for seven weekends. I hate to be the bearer of news…but most college kids don’t spend the WHOLE weekend studying.</p>
<p>Very, very true. But since this student was gone Thurs thru Sunday SEVEN times, that means that there were probably at least 14 missed opportunities to study.</p>
<p>Hopefully, the student has learned her lesson. However, if she thinks that next semester she can continue with the same pattern of visiting boyfriends, friends, and family while missing school, that’s a potential problem. </p>
<p>I’m curious…why did the student do NO studying during these long weekend visits?? When my kids have come home for visits, they know that they have to do homework during some of that time.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t worry about it. She sounds like a responsible, motivated kid. My guess is she’ll make the necessary adjustments herself. If it were my daughter, I’d want to keep the communications on this topic low key, and I’d want to communicate my continued confidence in her abilities. Something along the lines of, “Oh that’s too bad, but you’ll figure it out. You’ll probably just have to study a bit harder in those tough classes. But you are doing great and I’m proud of you.” If she’s adjusting we’ll socially, I wouldn’t worry too much about the weekends away. It sounds like she realized her mistake in and owned up to missing the lab. There’s no need to harp on it. As a parent, I understand your anxiety but I think she will most benefit from your cool, collected continued confidence in her abilities. If she asks for advice, then that’s of course another story.</p>
I like to put things in perspective.</p>