How do you let kids go OOS?

<p><a href=“https://www.wdwcollegeprogram.com/sap/its/mimes/zh_wdwcp/students/students.html[/url]”>https://www.wdwcollegeprogram.com/sap/its/mimes/zh_wdwcp/students/students.html&lt;/a&gt;
^show her this link. She does not have to attend a college in Orlando to get experience in Disney World. Advise her to attend a college that fits within your financial situation and then she can spend one or two semesters interning at Disney World through their College Program.</p>

<p>High school is a great time for parents and students to get adjusted to living “away.” Summer camps, in the OP’s case for theater, would make the perfect opportunity. Our D did ballet camps and she got exposure to mundane issues like “roommates” and such. She was also very busy and on a tight schedule and out of necessity we didn’t call more than about twice a week. A four-week camp was a good introduction to the “shallow end of the pool” for the “away” experience.</p>

<p>Ultimately, D had the same college and post-college experience as SmithieandProud, to an uncanny degree of similarity. If at times it’s difficult, remember that it’s not all about you, that you want what’s best for your daughter in terms of her fulfilling her potential.</p>

<p>It really does help if you view the parental role as one that’s preparing them for independence in progressive measures all along.</p>

<p>If your reason for not wanting her to go OOS is financial, than have her attend a school in-state.</p>

<p>If your reason for not wanting her to go OOS is emotional, cut the chord and let her go. It’s her life to live.</p>

<p>I’m a PA kid who did not apply at at in state. My closest school is about 10 hours by car. If your kid wants to go away and finances aren’t too bad, you just need to let go a bit. Know that you can call or email anytime</p>

<p>Remind yourself that this is about her and not about you. If you can afford the tuition and this is the best school for her, let her go when the time comes.</p>

<p>However, I also wonder, why is she taking the SAT now? Her PSAT score is very strong for a freshman. Chances are, that by jr year, even without any prep, she will be in national merit range. Her ACT is also strong for a freshman. Chances are by jr/sr year, her ACT will be in the 30’s. Unless she needs the SAT for some type of summer program, I’m not sure what the benefit is in taking it. Remember, not all universities honor SAT score choice, so she may be required to send her freshman scores.</p>

<p>I think you really have 2 questions: 1) How do I let her go OOS financially when her in state choice is significantly less expensive and 2) How do I let her go OOS when she’ll be so far away?</p>

<p>I have a freshman also (as well as a senior who is going through the process now) and realistically things will change dramatically in terms of interests through the next 3 years; I’ve seen that with my oldest. But it’s good to be prepared. </p>

<p>For the financial question, you have to ask yourself and your spouse what you are willing to spend per year on college for her. In state or out of state. Run the EFC (which I’m sure you already have since your S is already in college.) Then as the time comes closer, you need to articulate that to your D so there’s no surprises later on (hint: look at these boards in a few weeks when kids get accepted to their dream schools, parents get the FA package and say “um, sorry.”) If she looks like she might make NMF, that’s great but you can’t count on that since every kid can have a bad testing day. </p>

<p>For the distance question, well, that’s an individual family question. My DH was very twitchy about having D1 apply to schools that required flights home. Her list originally included 3 flight schools, but a 3 week summer program made her realize that she needed to be able to come home once a month. We weren’t going to be able to fly her home that often, so she made the choice to eliminate those schools. I would have been fine with her being farther away but it wasn’t my decision.</p>

<p>Out of state is a waste of money.</p>

<p>Bigtrees: you can’t always say that. It is going to be less expensive for my D to go OOS due to an excellent scholarship package. Our instate didn’t even come close.</p>

<p>DS is looking at schools that range from a 4-hour drive to 8 hours of flying (including a layover). I figure a 4-hour difference isn’t that big a deal these days. We get a lot of frequent flier miles, so the cost isn’t even that bad. He is so bright and enthusiastic that we want him to get an excellent education. I’ll miss him like heck, but that’s something I’ll have to deal with.</p>

<p>We have just had to teach our kids that they would not be going to college near us. Why? Because we move since we are a military family. For kid 1, that meant a college across the ocean from us and then a college almost 2000 miles away and now living at home and finishing his senior year. For numbers two and three, who knows? Even if number two decides to pick a college instate next year, by the fall of 2011, we may be across the ocean again. The distance from LA to FL isn’t that far and you still have a long time to get used to the idea. SHe may decide to go to a closer school, too.</p>

<p>I think my mother is getting the last laugh. Even after 24 years, she is still annoyed that I moved 2,500 miles away from Austin in order to live in Maine. Now it appears that there’s a decent chance that my DS will go to UT-Austin, lol. So far, Mom has restrained herself from making any comments, but I’m just waiting…</p>

<p>You just let them go and be glad that the place that they’re at is a super place for you to go and visit! We are in NJ, our D is at school in Miami. We are just sorry that the 4 years are over because we will miss our vacations!</p>

<p>H and I moved several thousand miles away for our education. Missed our families like crazy. I was the only daughter at home and my parents really had a hard time letting me go. But they did - because they knew I wanted to do this so badly. Having been through that, it is very hard (and hypocritical) if we don’t let D go wherever she wants to for college. Currently, she’s looking at schools 1-2 hours away as well as some that are across the country. Wherever she wants, she can go. Oh, it will be hard, really hard to let go - but it is her life!</p>

<p>Well Op…</p>

<p>-You are the best one to know the degree of maturity of your daughter.
-If you trust your daughter judgment…then everything probably will be fine.
-Then you will accept her decision…
-Then you will learn how to cope with your sadness…in different ways:
–Thinking that her decision is the best for her future…that she is pursuing her dreams…that her decision will prepare her for the future…feeling proud of her accomplishments!
–Then you will keep the communication open: Text or learn how to text in your cell phone.
When you feel the urge to call her often, don’t: Take the phone and pretend you are talking with her…just pretend. You don’t want to be a pest calling her constantly…life will come to normal and you will stop the exercise…keep doing it until you control that need!
-You probably will have spring or fall to visit if you can. Otherwise you will be looking for summer and Christmas or holidays. I understand your concern dearly.</p>

<p>This fall my baby girl will start college at a school that is a 13 1/2 hours drive away. My son will be somewhere in the world in the Air Force. I love both of them and will miss them but I am also very excited to see them make the most of their opportunities. My husband is a different story. He imagines a life like it was before children, except with a little more money. Now I doubt we will have all of the freedom he is dreaming of since he runs his own business and is extremely active in the community and I am planning on being a little more ambitious at work since I have more time to “climb the ladder.” It will be interesting to see how we adjust. As for my daughter, I know she will do well - too smart and independent not to.</p>

<p>I think you’ve gotten some good advice/info here. I just wanted to point out that the musical theater community on CC is alive and well. If you haven’t checked out the wealth of experience that exists there, here’s the link. It’s everything you ever wanted to know about musical theater colleges, and MORE!</p>

<p>[Musical</a> Theater Major - College Confidential](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/musical-theater-major/]Musical”>Musical Theater Major - College Confidential Forums)</p>

<p>Many, many years ago I wanted to go to a Midwest college and I am from the East Coast. It was my dream school and my parents said no because they wanted me to be closer…I was the last to leave the nest. Well…long story short…my mom years later admitted that they were afraid that I might meet and marry someone from the Midwest and move far away…well guess what… I met and married a boy from my home state of NJ and we moved to California 9 months later. We have never lived in NJ since that time and now finally I am living in the Midwest and my senior in HS will be attending his dream school which will be 15 hours from our home. I will miss him terribly, but I have to let go because it is all about him now not me!! So the moral is that you might be controlling the situation now…but you can’t do that forever and you might be holding her back from her dream and I would never want that on my conscience.</p>

<p>This is an interesting topic. I don’t think I worry so much about our S. He could end up going to school a 15 minute drive from home (although he’d be living on campus) or way on the other coast. What is comforting is that he’s never had separation anxiety (even when an infant) and is pretty independent. Plus, he seems to be dropping most of the right questions to us (how do I deal with a checking account, will I have an allowance or need to work during school for expenses, etc.)</p>

<p>Since he’s an only child, the harder part of work through will be the empty nest syndrome. I do work full time and stay somewhat active with my outside activities. I expect H and I will travel more at times of the year that were not workable with the K-12 calendar. With advent of email, text and Skype there are a plethora of ways to communicate. My concern is that communication right now with S on a phone is very clipped from his end, but perhaps that’s because he’s still living here, so less to chat about.</p>

<p>Hi mom2them,</p>

<p>I havn’t read the other posts but this thread caught my eye.</p>

<p>I’m from Orlando, did research at UCF, know many people who worked at all of the theme parks, and have tons of friends who attend UCF. UCF is a great school, and if your daughter improves her scores and gets good grades (which seems more likely than not, considering she’s only a freshman and already has great scores) I’d say she has an excellent chance of getting a scholarship there. UCF gave at least 15 kids from my high school a “Pegasus” scholarship that covered much of the cost; I’m not sure if this particular scholarship was limited to Florida residents. I do know that UCF awards merit scholarships to outstanding applicants regardless of geographic location.</p>

<p>At this stage of the game, I would encourage your daughter but try not to worry too much. My dream school was Vanderbilt, but I had a deal with my parents–I could only attend if I received a full-tuition scholarship. It was always clear to me that unless I was able to knock out tuition on my own, I would have to stay in state. I understood this and knew what it would take to receive such as scholarship, and so I pursued it with everything I could. If your daughter truly loves the school and is willing to put in the effort, I think a UCF scholarship would definitely be attainable. Be sure to look into private scholarships as well, a thousand here and a thousand there add up!</p>

<p>From a teen to a parent, I can say from experience that it is very possible her dream will change. I did not fall in love with Vandy until my sophomore year of high school, when I was a freshman I was dead set on Notre Dame! My parents of course did research such as you are doing now for your daughter :). It’s early in the game and it sounds like your daughter is off to a great start. Good luck, and enjoy these high school years!</p>

<p>*Out of state is a waste of money. *</p>

<p>The OP’s D will likely be able to OOS for a lot less than in-state because she will likely be a NMF.</p>