I was given a long term suspension/expulsion for one year about two months ago from my high school. Luckily, no legal charges were pressed, but I was in trouble for disrespectful conduct towards another student and with spreading inappropriate images. I’m a sophomore and was honestly not expecting this at all. I went through the whole procedure with two weeks of suspension and then tribunal and all, and it was determined that I be suspended until January of 2020. I plan on doing online school until the end of my suspension, and have been doing pretty well with it. I have a couple questions though about how this would affect my future, because trust me I am not a bad kid and had no previous serious disciplinary record. It was a stupid mistake on my part and I want to go to a good college and have a normal life, but now I feel like I can’t. I’ve talked to adults that work in my school district to try to see what they think and they said that since I had decent grades and didn’t have a bad record before this, that I could still probably get into the college I wanted to. After reading some things online, however, I feel like my chances are completely ruined and I can’t do anything.
How would this affect my college apps? Would colleges understand it if I told them the story? I wanted to go to a state college with like 55% acceptance rate, then maybe transfer. People have told me that there is a section for you to describe any behavioral issues on it, but I’m not sure.
Should I return to my districted school after my suspension is over? I could potentially drive myself to a different school in my county that’s near me. I feel like most people at my school probably aren’t too fond of me after this whole incident, so it might be better there for me to go there and concentrate on my grades and have a normal rest of high school.
If you excel, stay out of trouble, do some meaningful service work, you should be fine for most colleges. A lot will depend upon how or if the the suspension is reported by your high school. Something you need to discuss with the GUidance department that processes the college applications.
I’ve known a lot of kids who got into all sorts of trouble in high school and college. Most all were able to turn it around. Most did not return to same high school, however.
Thanks so much for your response I really appreciate it. What kind of service work would be good? I really feel awful about the situation and just want to go back to normal.
You need to stay on the straight and narrow in terms of rules now. But no reason you cannot go as you have in your plans. Wish you luck. Not the first, nor the last to make this sort of mistake.
Thank you brother. I really appreciate your responses. I will definitely not get in trouble again, I usually never do. I will try to volunteer at some places near me. Thank you.
If you’re upfront about it and explain what happened, it’ll look a lot better than if you hide anything. It also depends on how the school reports it as well because if their account doesn’t match yours, they’ll take that into serious consideration. Just stay out of trouble for now and if you don’t get into the college, keep in mind that it may have nothing at all for what got you in trouble
I would talk to your Guidance Counselor about this. Say that you take this very seriously and realize what you thought was “fun/cool/revenge/whatever you were thinking” was very harmful. Say that you understand the punishment fits the "crime’, but you dont’ want this crime to define you. What can you do to work toward the future? Would service in, say Domestic Violence or something (if you spread pictures of a female) be something to consider? Ask if they think returning to this HS or going to another would be better? And how will recommendations for HS work? How can you set yourself up to go to college and what types of colleges might accept you?
Also were you spreading inappropriate images about a particular person at your HS? If so, i would consider not returning to your school and let that person be in peace.
But do everything you can to
Stay out of trouble
Keep up with your school work. If you find yourself falling behind, find a method to keep up like having your parents check up on you or something.
Find some kind of community service to show that you are a person they would want at their college and you have learned from your incident
Also when you say it was a “mistake” that does not sound like you are taking responsibility.
You made an active choice to spread images and to be disrespectful. You made a choice to not delete those photos. You made a choice to send them to people. You made a choice to degrade someone.
As much as you want things to go back to normal, so does the person you disrespected. They may be stuck with the fall out of your actions.
In addition, know that there are many paths through college. Maybe you will need to go to Community College and then transfer to a State U. Maybe you will show that you have had no further behavioral issues and have done community service volunteering and that you are ready for college to 4 year colleges.
@bopper Thank you so much for your reply brother. My parents spoke with my counselor and principal already (I am not allowed on any school property in my district until my suspension is over), they offered to reduce my punishment a bit because originally it was much longer. Also, I wrote detailed apology letters to both my school and the parents of the student in question because believe me, this was not done intentionally and I feel awful about it. They said it’s okay and that they won’t press charges. I admitted to it being my fault and the whole case is already over.
I’m just thinking about what to do now. I for sure will do come volunteer work and maybe even do some presentations about the dangers of social media and how to be safe online, I’m not really sure at the moment. I probably will go to a different school, and try to get really good grades.
Your application is going to be a tough sell to colleges. There’s no way around it. There will likely be a college for you, but it won’t be of the caliber you might have had a shot at before the indiscretion. Colleges might overlook “victimless crimes” like if you got caught cheating or juuling. However, you deeply hurt and embarrassed someone - and now you might possibly be a liability. The suggestion to start in community college and transfer to one of your choosing after two years is an excellent one, because that will give you a fresh slate.
I would NOT go back to the high school you previously attended. That just confirms you are putting your desire to have your “old life” back over the comfort and mental health of your victim.
Hannah Stotland is the expert on these situations, though. @Hanna ?
I talked one time to someone who works at the school district and he said that most people would probably forget when I come back to my school, but I am not so sure. I will try to contact my counselor.
For now I just want to:
Do good on my online school and get really good grades
When I come back, get good grades as well
Volunteer somewhere to help others
Not get in trouble
Be a positive person and nice and kind to others to leave a good mark
Is this good? Also thank you all so much for replying.
@Groundwork2022 Thanks so much for replying. I understand that if I have to go to community college then I will, I just really wanted to go to state university. If I get pretty good grades and do volunteer work, and be kind and not get in trouble, would I at least have a chance to go to a state university out of high school. I most likely will not return to my high school, my parents told me this.
And very good point about that you said about that student. I am sure he and many others will not forget, that is why I was doubting his words.
You will probably have a chance at a directional, maybe the flagship if it is not one of the “public ivies”. You will have to explain all this on your application, and how well you do that could make all the difference.
@Groundwork2022 It is just a normal state college with around 50% acceptance rating. I might have some other options, too, but this one would be what I like the most. I’ll explain the story of what happened and say which steps I have taken to be better.
@gucciplug Not that there is a “good” time to be suspended, but many schools districts now are trying to reduce “disproportionate disciplinary responses”. You are saying all the right things here. Stay as close to your guidance counselor as you are allowed and follow any advice they have. With luck, you can soon put this episode behind you.
^ Yes. And Hanna Stotland is someone to keep in mind for help. She posts on these boards under “Hanna”. You can google her name for more about what she does.
I’ve known kids who did some terrible things, were expelled, some who were criminally charged, even convicted who got back on their feet. Yes, I know a number of kids who got into trouble but graduated from schools like Lehigh, GW, Princeton, Brown… the list goes on. These are real cases, real people.
Getting int this kind of trouble is a serious thing. It’s too easy to continue down that path. But, yes, one can decide a lesson was learned and continue.
Many schools do not put such disciplinary actions on the school records. Unless the questions asked on the application directly fit the consequences, they may not be relevant. Also other than the most selective schools that do take every nuance into account, who have to do so because they have to eliminate as many apps as possible for any reason, if all else has gone well and the transgression has been a couple of years back, it is not a huge reject point. As for transfers, once you are in college, high school records may not even be needed.
Thank you so much everyone who replied. I feel much better about this situation now. I’ll try to look around for some volunteering work, and will get good grades and I will not get in trouble. I hope I will eventually get into the school I want to.
Kids do dumb things in high school and colleges generally get that. It really depends on the college application and what shows on your transcript. If your transcript is clean, you could probably just skip the question and move on. There’s no way for them to know. It’s not a government security clearance. You also have a right to protect yourself from a college prying into your past. Being honest doesn’t mean turning an application into a religious confession.
The worst thing that could happen is that you start at community college and transfer. It’s not a big deal. If anything, you’re saving money. Usually after a year, universities don’t even ask for high school information, especially public universities. Your degree is going to be exactly the same as your peers who went there all 4 years.