How does a parent deal with buyers remorse?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My child was offered and accepted admission into the NYU LSP program. The business program was not offered but eventual transfer to College of Arts and Science in Economics was. So acceptance to other schools were pulled back as per the NYU acceptance. Now there is a case of what i call buyers remorse in that they are not sure they made the right decision. The other school of choice was Pitt business school. My child is very confused and looking for guidance. How have other parents dealt with this type of situation?</p>

2

<p>did you apply for FA and did you receive your package from NYU yet?..The acceptance to LSP if I am not mistaken is not a binding ED acceptance; did you already withdraw the Pitt acceptance?</p>

<p>Before everyone flames me for suggesting this, please understand that LSP is a unique situation at NYU…</p>

3

<p>Have a look at this:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/education/edlife/strategy.html[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/education/edlife/strategy.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>which includes:

</p>

4

<p>Do you mean you informed UPitt that you will not be accepting their offer of admittance?</p>

<p>If so, call up UPitt and ask someone in the admissions dept. if your child can retract his/her decision not to enroll and change the decision to—yes, plan to enroll.</p>

<p>After speaking with UPitt and confirming that your child will attend, simply tell NYU that you have had a change of heart and have decided not to attend NYU.</p>

5

<p>^^ good advice if your child really does want to change to Pitt.</p>

<p>But buyer’s remorse can be a psychological side effect of making a big decision. The trick is figuring out if your child has “cold feet” or genuinely regrets his or her choice. Ask yourself if your child has a history of difficulty with decision making. Use some decision making tools to help your child figure this out. See if s/he can talk it through with you. Make a list of pros and cons. Visualize himself or herself at both schools in a year, in four years, or in life in 10 years. If necessary, schedule additional visits or get in touch with alumni to ask about specific concerns.</p>

<p>Once the decision is really made, try to help your child feel comfortable with it. Remind him or her that it’s common to feel “not 100% sure” about big decisions. Though a big choice, picking a college is not irrevocable (transfer, anyone?). There isn’t just one college for everyone. Most students could fit into a wide variety of places and do just fine. Sometimes easing the perceived stakes of the outcome can help take off the pressure and reduce anxiety.</p>

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<p>Seattle Mom you hit it on the head. I am not worried about changing schools. My concern is if this is about NYU or the fact that he made a decision that now sets a part of his life in motion. I tried explaining that he will never know which is better as it is what you make of it. I was more curious if other parents had similar experiences and how they worked thru it. I liked Moms suggestion of listing out the pros and cons and picturing where he will be in 5 and 10 years. That may help the process.</p>

7

<p>My son had questions about grad school. On my dime, I encouraged him to return to 2 top choices and spend some time around the students and in the environment. I felt that he saw the schools during interview days, and would be less anxious after acceptances. </p>

<p>If there is any way that your child can revisit, sit in classes, stay in a dorm, try.</p>