We are having a debate with my daughter and I would like other opinions. My daughter’s main EC is competitive cheer. She is quite good at it and will likely be captain next year. The problem is that her coach is nuts. She schedules practice almost every day – last fall they had only Monday evenings off only. There was practice or competitions both weekend days most of the fall, with additional required volunteer events and of course, football games. The coach thinks that cheer should be the most important thing in their life. Without going into details, I’ve had a couple run-ins with her in the past when a practice has conflicted with a required academic event and the woman is just not reasonable.
This of course puts tremendous pressure on the students. Next year my D will be taking 3 APs plus she will have her college applications to fill out. We are concerned that cheer will take too much time away from this. Furthermore, we want to do a couple more college visits in Sept after classes are back in session. The coach will allow none of this. In order to visit colleges, D will either have to defy the coach (not sure what the consequences of this will be) or lie and say she is sick.
So… my husband and I want her to quit cheer. We feel that the demands of the coach are unreasonable and want her to focus on academics and college applications.
D is conflicted. She loves cheer but hates the coach and would not mind quitting, though she is interested in doing it in college. But she is concerned about the affect on her college applications if she stops. Will it look bad is she discontinues her main EC in senior year? She doesn’t have a lot else because cheer has been so demanding of her time. Other than cheer she plays viola and violin in the school orchestra and is in the school music honor society. That’s it. All her volunteer work had been cheer-related, though if she quits she will be able to start something else.
Also, she is not applying to the very top schools. There are no ivies or super competitive LACs on her list. Her reach schools will probably be Tulane and American. All others are less selective than that.
I would recommend only doing extracurriculars she actually wants to participate in. College Admissions are during the winter, so they mainly just look at freshman to junior years. Discontinuing some extracurriculars shouldn’t hurt her chances of getting accepted, especially since she isn’t applying to top schools.
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. My daughter’s main EC was 4 years Varsity Competitive Cheer at a school that vies for State level Div 1 championship – it’s an excellent program. Her coach values the kids’ academics and they’ve boasted equally about team GPA as much as cheer accomplishments. They have strict weekly academic reports, etc-- any grade or test below 80% and its mandatory tutoring before practice – and possibly on the bench on Friday or Saturday. Since 2005, they’ve been among the top five in top GPA Div 1 teams in the state. Perhaps it helps that half the coaching staff are also teachers. My kid (who was captain) is graduating this year with a very high GPA and with accepts at several top Engineering schools.
To your case, I would let your DD know that her case is an anomoly. Frankly, I find it hard to believe that the # hours your coach demands is allowably by your state HS athletics association. What do other schools do? It’s likely too late to effect a change so I’d have you kiddo drop her 4th year w/o blinking an eye – and this is from a 100% solidly confirmed “Cheer Dad”. I fully support our school’s pgm because it’s humane and values the athletes --and isn’t soley focused on the vagaries of chasing wins. Your DD not taking it her 4th year won’t affect her admissions – the main drivers will be her GPA, transcript rigor and test scores. Frankly, by being allowed to breathe, she may blossom in her next year’s courses – vital as she transitions to college-level work in Sept 2016.
If you had time, I would investigate your state’s limits on practice hours and end the tyranny of your coach. She’s outrageous.
That does not sound that out of the ordinary to me, at least compared to some of the other varsity teams practice schedules. Although I do think the coach is being unreasonable by saying that cheer comes first.
Regardless, I don’t think that dropping will impact admission. Good luck to your daughter.
I never thought there would be a state limit on hours. I will look into that. The coach is not a teacher, does not value academics and does not understand the demands of the more difficult courses. She is a graduate of a local state college (not the flagship). She coached there after she graduated and was fired a few years ago and then came to our high school. No one seems to know why she was fired but there are rumors of violations of some sort.
There is only one other girl on the team who takes any AP courses. Most girls are in regular courses, not even honors. The other girl is also considering quitting this year for similar reasons. D has said that if she quits cheer, she will probably do cross country which is a no-cut sport at her school and much less demanding, so she would stay active and still be doing something, but she is worried that colleges will care about the lack of continuity in ECs.
I recommend that you step back and let your daughter decide, ideally without pressure. In a year she’ll be on her own and from your list of likely colleges to which she’ll apply she will likely be some distance from home. She’ll need to make decisions such as the one you’re bringing up.
Your D should drop cheer and focus on her academics. Colleges are about education, and ECs don’t make up for grades (unless you’re a recruited athlete). Furthermore neglecting her studies now will put her at a disadvantage relative to other kids in college who have built a better academic base.
I also suggest that you have a chat with the principal and (if its a small enough school district) the superintendent. It’s likely they don’t know the details of what’s going on, and one hopes they think education is more important than cheer, nor should they be pleased to find out that kids aren’t allowed to miss practice for college visits. The catch is that if you complain she would lose this coach as a rec, but once she drops cheer I think that avenue is gone anyway. I would suggest sticking to the facts of how she’s running the team and leave out your impression of whether or not she values academics, the circumstances of how she came to your school, etc. so that you aren’t dismissed as being biased against her.
Good news, then. You can look at the Common Data Set for colleges and see what they say they consider in admission. The one for Tulane is at http://tulane.edu/oair/upload/CDS_2014-2015-final.pdf On a ranking “Very Important /Important/Considered/Not Considered” Tulane chose “Considered”. In other words even minimal participation in her other ECs is going to be enough, and the killer schedule your D is contemplating will not help her stand out.
Yes, plz check on the hours. In our state, there are mandated “dead periods” where coaches can’t oversee any athletic workouts/conditioning. If such clear and delinieated periods exist for us, I can’t see why they don’t exist for your state. And if your coach is so completely obvlivious to them…
Our state and school district both have rules on how many hours athletes can practice, so do check into that. Does it make sense to talk to the principal or academic dean at your school? My kids were athletes, musicians, big ECers and the school always worked it out so it pains me when someone won’t play nice.
It is your D’s call ultimately. How does she feel about walking away? Kids do it. Others feel connected to the team and won’t.
I think it’s incorrect that Cross Country is less demanding…just bc it is no cut? To show commitment in the new EC, she should give her all. My kids practice every day from 230 to 530 and have 2 meets a week, one on sat. This goes on year round, winter and spring too. Some kids come and go as they wish, and don’t attend all or all meets, but they are not really considered part of the “team” and just annoy the actual runners…
Everyone assumes other ECs are not as strenuous as the one they do. It’s about what you put into it! You put the most into the ones you love!
Does she even need a sport? Maybe volunteer one night a week instead? My kids do that on Tuesdays after practice. Thursday’s after practice is piano, and frankly, I feel that is scheduled enough!
Sorry if I offended you HRSMom with my comment about cross country. My D wants to do a sport because she has always done a sport and likes the physical challenge and activity. At our high school, cross country is a sport that people can participate in without the requirement of attending every practice and meet. I realize that this may annoy the more serious runners, but it is something that is openly encouraged by the school administration. There is no requirement or expectation that she should “give her all” in order to be on the team. If that was a requirement for listing ECs on college applications, I think many people would be listing a lot fewer activities than I see in some of these posts.
My point, I guess, is that ECs should be narrow and deep…I agree about the “listing a lot fewer” thing. She should do what she enjoys! Otherwise it is a waste. What about doing cheer but on her own terms? What can the coach really do??
That couch shouldn’t even be a couch. Sounds more like a child who hasn’t learned that the world doesn’t revolve around her. Like others who have posted above, I think there MUST be a limit on the number of hours a school activity can demand.
Grades come first, especially for one who attends multiple AP courses. Unless your daughter catches the eye of a recruiter, there’s no possibility that cheer can compensate for grades for college admissions. Besides, it’s not likely anyone, even one who is very talented, is going to become a professional cheerleader. If I were in your daughter’s position, I would drop cheer ASAP. Heck, I would have focused on schoolwork over any EC from freshman year, because unlike most EC, grades and test scores are absolute factors in college admissions. That’s just me.
In the end, it’s her choice. It sounds like your daughter wants to quit. Whatever she wants to do in regards to cheer, let her. If it’s a passion, let her pursue it, but if its a burden, let her quit.
It won’t be devastating for your daughter to quit cheer now. Academics comes first in ALL situations. If your daughter will be continuing other EC’s that she has pursued up to this point, the gap left by cheer will not be as gaping. However, if cheer was the main deal and your daughter is now sitting around with absolutely nothing to do, you’ll have to supplement with something new: volunteering, clubs, new sports (XC counds like it could work!) etc. can be a great replacement. Since you mentioned your daughter is into viola/violin and the music honor society, this won’t be a huge issue. She can add one or two more things to replace the cheer and be home free.
If your daughter wants to quit, let her. Side note: is it possible to ditch HS cheer and do it club-related? I don’t know how cheer works but if it’s possible for her to do it with less pressure outside of high school, then that’s an option as well.