<p>I blackmailed instead of nagging - as in you can't go to so & so's house for new years weekend unless your app is completed and submitted first. Blackmail works so much better than nagging. :D . Took her on tours. She decided on which school was her first choice. Had to convince her to apply to a couple of others just in case. She filled out the applications. Did ask me to have a quick look to check for errors and I reminded her to add a few awards she had forgotten about. I provided the credit card. As for financial aid forms - it amazes me to read of kids having to do these without parents help. That part we are very involved in. Can't imagine not being. And no j07 - I really don't think she could do FAFSA without our input. her portion maybe but the parents financial info - no. </p>
<p>I had to laugh at the post about the kid whose college application went in with the Dads name on it instead of his. We actually know one or two people I could really see that happening to. I would say we are somewhere in the middle - definitely not hands off but very aware it is her going to college - not us.</p>
<p>swimcatsmom--Agreed! Blackmail works much, much better! We were very involved from the beginning, from visiting various schools to gathering information which I hoped he was digesting and contemplating. I am very glad of 2 things: 1) I found cc over a year ago and garnered much invaluable help and 2) we started this process 18 months ago. I can't imagine waiting until sr. year, although that's what most families at our non-competitive, rural public school do. I am probably an average cc parent. I am sure the local principal and gc think I am over the board nuts. Everyone makes mistakes--if that makes them look at my kid's stuff twice, ok by me.</p>
<p>I am a CPA and have parents going nuts over the FAFSA. I wouldn't dream of having a student try to attempt it alone. It's not difficult, but something with which most adults, let alone students, are not famiiliar. The profile....another story!</p>
<p>"Do you really think a checkbox covering all of these areas would make a difference."</p>
<p>Yes, many students who do not receive the same level of support and encouragement from their parents are at a disadvantage. The checkbox should at least get to the conscience of people who are thinking of lying about receiving help or not. However, they have no reason to lie. The checkbox would simply provide a context in which to evaluate the application (for example, the officers might be more forgiving of certain details like lack of campus visits).</p>
<p>"Frankly, parents need to be very involved up to the point of actually completing the application..."</p>
<p>Again, there's nothing wrong with that, hence why the student should be able to freely admit if he or she received helped from his or her parents and to what extent.</p>
<p>I used an online search engine during son's junior year to come up with a list of schools I thought he might like. He looked at the school's websites and told us which ones he'd like to visit. We went with him on the tours. He seemed perfectly happy to let me find schools and limit his role to yay/nay, but finally I decided he needed to take more ownership of the process, so I asked him to look for additional schools to visit. He found two - onethat ultimately became one of his top choices, the other he crossed off the list when he got sick of visiting schools and already had 3 he really liked.</p>
<p>He filled out the applications and wrote the essay. We reviewed, edited, and made suggestions, but ultimately they were his words. I was quite skeptical about his choice of topic for the essay, but in the end he made it work.</p>
<p>Our main involvement was NAGGING about getting moving, deadlines, etc.</p>
<p>If I were a college admissions person, I would want to know if a) you took a test prep course, b) if you hired a counselor, c) had more than minor proofreading help on essays.</p>
<p>Managing the logistics of the application process, choosing and visiting schools, paying for fees/score reports, dividing the financial responsibilities for all of this -- at least to me -- are decisions that have to be made within a family based on their dynamics, resources, etc. </p>
<p>Talking to DS1 about what he wants out of college has been a lot of fun. Dragging him out to learn how to buy shoes, fill out Fed Ex forms, make business phone calls, etc. is fun, too. (especially the feigned kicking and screaming part! :)) Discussing how all this gets paid for is another step in the "welcome to the real world" process of becoming an adult. </p>
<p>What goes out in that application, however, must be 100% student produced. That is non-negotiable in our house.</p>
<p>S1- I went with him to visit our state u and an in state LAC his sophomore year. H, S2 and yours truly went to see more schools with him out east summer before junior year, and again to his top choice spring of junior year. Neither my H or myself saw his application stuff before he handed it to his dad (the night before our flight to NCYC, in which I was one of the chaperones) so he can mail it overnight because they were due in two days.</p>
<p>S2 (now a senior)- H and I went with him for a couple of college visits. He has seen a lot more schools before because of older brother. He is applying to a couple of schools he has not visited.He plans on visiting them after he gets admitted. He applied to four and has been admitted to two (with offers of scholarships, yehey!!!!!!). My only help was to nag him about deadlines and to instruct him how to sent registered mail. I have not seen (nor my H) his applications either, but judging from his acceptances, he must have done a good job. The admissions officer in one of the 2 schools even wrote a handwritten note praising his writing skills in his acceptance packet. The other one called and mentioned the same thing. </p>
<p>I also bought them SAT and ACT prep books. I did not help that much with the whole application process although I would have loved to.</p>
<p>My mom is furious that she has to pay the application fees. I would have had enough money but I lost my job in December and I have to make car payments too. I was thinking of selling my car to pay her back.</p>
<p>I am admittedly way too involved. Partly because D spent the first half of her senior year out of state at a specialized school for athletes where there was no time in the day or on weekends to do college applications, and partly because I have really enjoyed studying the different schools. Call me crazy, I have no idea why I have found it to be fun. I have about a dozen books of choosing colleges, can rattle off stats at different schools when someone asks, etc. I need to get a life! But yes, daughter is appreciative of how much I have helped. She will make the ultimate decision about where to go, I cannot make that for her.</p>
<p>With DS, it was so much easier and less stressed. We did take a family trip, which included sightseeing and a visit to a few colleges. Since he's only applying to five colleges, and 3 are automatic acceptance state schools there is no pressure. :)</p>
<p>Yeah, I'm over-involved too, but it's been mostly a lot of fun. I love to do research anyway and I loved going to college and I love my son, so what could be more fun than helping him to find a great school? He's found 10 great ones, just finished the last app last night. He has a busy spring planned, so I'm hoping the wait won't feel too long. Hanging around on CC will help me deal with it.</p>
<p>Thanks! I felt it was being delivered with high forceps, though all I did was sit on the sidelines, wringing my hands. I really was ok with him not completing, but he'd already spent hours that day working on it and had a creative writing project due the next day too. He did it all. This is what separates the teenagers from the senior citizens!</p>
<p>bethievt, we are kindred spirits. My D just finished the last of her 10 apps (actually, the supplements ... all were common app, which was turned in at the very end of Nov.). It was submitted at 11:58 pm on the last possible day! After she hit the submit button, she hit the books. Actually, the BOOK ... she was up until after 3 am reading something (boring) for AP Lit. My hair got grayer through the process, but I will be visiting the beauty shop Saturday and leaving that behind me!! So glad to NOT have to ask, "How are you doing on your supplements?" every time I turn around. I have enjoyed helping with the process --- but my only contribution to the actual application process, beyond nagging, has been proofing. Glad it's done.</p>