<p>the best part…I didn’t get a chance to contact them first.</p>
<p>I have to say…if my kids sent me multiple text messages each day, I would worry more about them than if they didn’t communicate as often. By the time they were in college, I expected them to have their own lives, and deal with their own issues without me having to hear or help with every detail. Of course if they called, I’d respond…but I never anticipated being a part of their every day life in college on a frequent basis.</p>
<p>Interesting thread and a good learning experience for me, the father of a high school senior. willowoak, thanks for posting though I see where you were roughed-up for it a couple/few times. </p>
<p>One trend I see in this discussion are the small lies we tell ourselves. One example:</p>
<p>“I do not think it is a big deal for them to make a 2 minute phone call.” </p>
<p>But it’s not a 2 minute phone call. </p>
<p>One of the sobering lessons we learned this past summer when our son went off to a three-week university-based camp is information goes from a free-flowing creek to a dripping faucet. I’m talking big now b/c we’re not dealing with this issue yet, but when he goes off to school next fall I hope we can keep one tradition alive and create a new tradition: 1) when we text to him “Marco” he will at his earliest convenience respond with “Polo”, and 2) once a week at a fixed time we can have a 15 minute Skype conversation. </p>
<p>Thanks, again, everyone for sharing.</p>
<p>TV show “The Middle” had their own take on this last night. Kid liked to stay in contact with one parent over the other. Touched on many os issues here in a more comedic way.</p>
<p>^^^^Yes, Barrons, I thought of this exact thread when I was watching it!</p>
<p>Well, I just called my 23 year old after 6 hours. She was supposed to check in that she had arrived at her destination (usually a 2.5-3 hour drive) safely. Got voicemail. Hoping that means she’s having fun with her friends…</p>
<p>Has anyone had experience with the reverse, as in kids being concerned when their parents don’t respond?
My mom had terminal cancer, and we texted a lot. Sometimes I would be the one to get worried if she didn’t respond - that she was back in the hospital, for example, or worse. I got used to some intermittant responses, though, the longer I was away. So I didn’t think too much of it when she didn’t respond to my birthday greeting after we had talked the previous day. My dad called the next morning to say he’d booked me on the next flight home so I could be there at the end.
So I guess what I learned is, it’s good to keep in touch, and at some point it doesn’t do a lot of good to spend all your time worrying. But being concerned and thinking of your children is why they turned out so well. It’s just hard to find the balance when they grow up, for parents and for the kids.</p>
An update from the OP: My child is now abroad for the semester and we are keeping in touch through apps. However, there is no schedule as to when we message. My child just went traveling around to several countries, and I didn’t even know beforehand the itinerary. Both of us have grown a lot since my initial message!
Nice to hear the update. When our son was in Jordan we talked approximately weekly by Skype. He’d send us an email letting us know when to call or if they’d be on field trips and calls wouldn’t be possible.