I’ve been in college for a little over 2 months now and I’m still having trouble finding my close froup of friends. During the first week, I was hung out alot with people on my floor for things like dinner, but over time they gained their own groups and I was kinda left without one. By now, everyone has found their main “group” and when I try to ask if a new person if they want to hangout they usually say they’re busy or have plans with someone and I feel like an outsider or intruder if I ask to come along. I have plenty of “friends” and acquatintances from my clubs and most of my floor, but none that I really relate and regularly talk with. At times, I can feel very awkward and anxious with other people in fear that I what I say may not make sense or come out weird (it tends to happen at times).
I really want to meet people who I can connect with on and feel comfortable being my fun self. I see many people everyday but I tend to be cautious on who to open up to. I just don’t know if or when I will find my group and whether I’ll be tell when do.
There is no answer. Every person is different. Also, you are likely to find that the core group of friends changes with time.
You are assuming that people are busy with their “close group” of friends. The reality is more likely that they are busy with their casual friends and acquaintances. It is easy to assume everyone but you is connecting and having fun with their BFF. I assure you that is NOT the reality. Like you, MANY are looking to establish solid friendships.
If it helps at all, this is so common. Look through a few pages on this forum and there are many posters who are asking the same question in one form or another. It will take time, and you have to bear with it. It will happen eventually, but maybe not as quickly as you are hoping. A lot of people don’t have a proper friend group until seond semester. Meanwhile, there are a lot of suggestions on these posts about being proactive to change things for the better. Good luck.
One thing that you say you are doing is that you keep trying to connect with others. That is great. It takes a lot of reaching out to actually connect. But it is inevitable, if you keep on trying eventually it will happen. In the meantime, relax and be yourself. Try to enjoy your studies and other aspects of being in college.
I’m in the same boat, it has been over two months and I’m left wondering when things will get better. Just know you aren’t alone. Things will get better just gotta wait it out even if it sucks. I know I miss my high school friends everyday which makes it hard to move on because we were so close and it feels we are drifting farther apart everyday. Just stay strong and hold on hoping things get better.
Try to relax and let things happen. The people I was closest to freshman year have drifted a little apart now in my sophomore year, and I’ve become closer to two other individuals in one of my clubs. Do you eat on campus? If so, you could try to find a way to get into the habit of sitting with the same group of people. That can help bonding.