<p>Agree that communication improves as students become comfortable with changing roles, new surroundings, roommies, etc However, I also think kids need to remember that parents are also playing new roles—kids aren’t at home and they need reassurance that all’s well. Having said that, it’s not unreasonable to expect–and GET-- communication from said offspring as directed by parent’s timetable/comfort zone. If you don’t hear from him, you call and he will get the hint. I firmly believe that kids need to understand where we are coming from and that the world doesn’t spin on THEIR axis…Not hovering, but must know all’s well…at least early in the year.</p>
<p>I agree with Panhandlegal. </p>
<p>One thing I would like to add is the first few months of college life is crucial. It will set the tone on how well they’ll do later on. It is a brand new environment, they have a lot of outside stimulants they may not be accustom to. Many kids end up spending too much time partying, ECs, and not keeping up with their schoolwork. I don’t think it would hurt to keep on top of them them, help them talk it through on many demands of college life in the first few months. It is always inevitable by Thanksgiving or early Dec some parents will post about their kid maybe failing, possibility losing merit scholarship.</p>
<p>A few things to check on when you are speaking with your kids - 1) how often they go to office hours (no matter how smart they are, going to office hours is a great way to let a professor know they are interested), 2) how early they are getting their papers or problem sets done, 3) how often are they going out (we all have gone to colleges, we know what it takes to do well in school), 4) are they going out, or have someone to eat/hang out with (aside from getting work done, it is just as important for them to be happy socially). This may all seem a bit of hovering for some people, but we all know our own kid and how much hovering is too much. I feel it’s easier to correct the course in the beginning than trying to fix it when it’s too late.</p>
<p>I’ve found that when they initiate the call, you get a lot more information. We, too, have found texting the best way to get an answer, even if that answer is only “K”. We text and say “Call when you can.” That will elicit a phone call usually that day but within 24 hours. “Yoo hoo!” is my message that it’s been way too long since the last contact.</p>
<p>S2 is good about calling me when he wants something. For instance, it’s easier for me to check info in his e-mail than for him to go back to his dorm room, boot up the computer and check the e-mail. (The 4 flights of stairs may have something to do with it) I even got a call once when he and some friends were lost on their way to the local mall, and they wanted me to give them directions from MapQuest. S knows I am ALWAYS on-line or H is. Unfortunately, I wasn’t much help because they didn’t know where they were.</p>
<p>I didn’t see any reference to this classic thread on the parents forum:</p>
<p>We miss him, Maybe he doesn’t miss us. ? </p>
<p>It’s got some great advice about contact and what has worked for some people. Lots of info. specific to boys, too.</p>