<p>^ Yep.</p>
<p>^^ Not if you think that women should not have to ask men out.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t mind asking out a guy out on a date. Although, I wouldn’t really call it a date, maybe a “hang out.”</p>
<p>christ, if it’s that bad that u have to come on CC asking strangers for dating advice, maybe u really shouldn’t be asking her out -_-</p>
<p>i would never ask a guy out, but i’m pretty shy, anyways.</p>
<p>btw, if u think a girl might like u, crack a joke. not like a knock-knock joke. just say something funnyish. if she giggles, she likes u. almost always :]</p>
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<p>. . .But why in the world would you think that? If a girl likes a guy, why shouldn’t she be able to go after him?</p>
<p>Are you kidding? All of the time. You just have to be out there, and available. Try not to be drunk all of the time!!!</p>
<p>I’d say it’s the men 70-80% from what I’ve been told.</p>
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<p>No one is saying that she shouldn’t “be able” to do anything. </p>
<p>There are no objective answers to romantic questions because romance – like humor – is subjective, inspite of <em>ahem</em> certian individuals’ attempts to regulate preference. I personally though would not be the one to initiate a relationship because 1) I am a very passive person and thus 2) I need a guy who is assertive. If he is not assertive enough (or doesn’t like me enough) to ask, then I know the relationship won’t work out. </p>
<p>The bottom line is that people will look for whatever traits that turn them on – even if they may not be politically correct or rational – mostly regardless of social norms.</p>
<p>You know it’s entirely possible that a guy would like you if he actually knew you, but doesn’t because you’ve never bothered to make a move-- it’s not just a matter of assertiveness. There is really no justifiable reason to put all the pressure on the men to make the first move.</p>
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<p>If a girl is too shy to ask somewhat out, that’s one thing. What I don’t understand (And I’m not trying to “regulate preference,” I’m just explaining why I disagree.) is how a girl can say “Oh, he won’t ask me out, obviously he doesn’t like me,” when she will refuse to ask him out no matter how much she likes him. As someone said upthread, if everyone took this attitude, nothing would ever happen.</p>
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<p>East- 5</p>
<p>Thread- 0</p>
<p>Whoraw!</p>
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<p>For the same reason that the guy should pay for the date all the time.</p>
<p>Of course, this mindset generally leads to couples where both the guy and the girl embrace it, so it’s not really a negative externality on others.</p>
<p>When I find a woman I’m interested, I take a page from the Barney Stinson playbook. It’s called “The Naked Man”. Enter her room, strip down, lay seductively on the bed with a single rose on your chest, and wait for her to enter. Works. Every. Time.</p>
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<p>I’m not saying that my position has any sort of transcendent truth to it – it’s simply the way I am. I just wouldn’t be comfortable in a relationship where the guy didn’t initiate. I’m very much a social progressive, so I have no problem with people who prefer things the other way around. In fact, I’m pretty sure that my dating life would be better off if I wasn’t so timid about these things, but I am and I don’t forsee that aspect of my personality changing. </p>
<p>I think I must be making my point very poorly… What I’m trying to get at is that these things are completely a matter of taste and not something worth arguing over because taste isn’t something based on logic; knowing something empirically rarely translates to feeling that same thing subjectively.</p>
<p>If someone isn’t comfortable asking themselves then that’s a different matter, but my roommate for example would never dream of asking a guy out because she thinks it’s “wrong” across the board. I think that’s just weird.</p>
<p>I don’t think anything to do with taste or “morality” can be objectively right or wrong. Almost by definition.</p>
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<p>THIS. </p>
<p>I think I understand what you’re saying Liberationn15, and I’m sorry if I came across as hostile. I don’t have a problem with saying you’re too shy/uncomfortable to ask someone out; what I do have a problem with is saying a girl SHOULDN’T ask someone out, which is not what you’re saying. :)</p>
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<p>I just. . . don’t understand this. I’m not trying to be negative or whatever, but I can’t imagine someone willingly choosing to be completely dependent on someone like that.</p>
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<p>That’s nice. But the fact that your mindset is based entirely on the modern ideal of total independence from everything and everyone is not my problem. If I cannot put all my faith in someone (financially, emotionally, etc.), then I can’t be friends with/date that person.</p>
<p>For some reason my boyfriend and I never seem to be employed at the same time. So for the first year we were together, I paid for everything-- including much of his groceries, Dr appointments, school supplies, etc. The rare occasion that we went out I paid for that too, though he cooked me dinner on our first date and paid for that himself. I even paid for him to go out and have fun without me once in a while. But this past year he has had a job and I don’t, so it’s the other way around. He does all that for me now instead. For us there is really no expectation who will pay for what, it’s just natural that if I know I have money and he does not, I will help him get whatever he needs and vice versa. We don’t have much of an entertainment budget, though, maybe the more trivial things are more contentious. I can understand bickering over who is paying for an evening out that isn’t a necessity anyway, but if boyfriend is out of deodorant and can’t afford to get more I am not going to hold out on him to prove a point. XD</p>
<p>I think I worded my post poorly. What I meant was, as a girl, I can<code>t fathom always being dependent on the guy to ask me out and always being dependent on the guy to pay for our dates. If at all possible, I like going Dutch b/c I like being independent and able to take care of myself. That doesn</code>t mean I wouldn<code>t pitch a tantrum if a guy bought me dinner once in a while or paid for something b/c I didn</code>t have the money, b/c I would be willing to do the same. I just think its best to be able to take care of yourself before you start trying to add someone else into the equation.</p>