<p>Ohhhhhhhhh. Well that’s embarrassing.</p>
<p>Of course, women prefer to be asked out as opposed to vice versa. Really, though, it’s for the same reason why many guys still can’t get girlfriends. There are shy, introverted guys who can’t muster up the courage to ask a girl out; there are guys who are bitter because they’ve constantly been stung by rejection. Yet, these guys have to keep on truckin, because they have no choice. It’s how society has laid it out for them: you be the one to initiate, or you get nothing at all. No wonder so much of a guy’s adolescence is spent just trying to figure it all out. I’d like to see a girl who preferred not to initiate step into a guy’s shoes and then see what it’s like. </p>
<p>I find that, most of the time, it’s no use trying to convince other people to change their social norms. This tradition, however, isn’t completely fair and, in the end, doesn’t make much sense no matter how much you try to rationalize it (kind of like the anti-gay marriage standpoint…but that’s another story).</p>
<p>I’m very shy, at least with people I don’t know that well so it would take me 1000 years to ask somebody out who I just met. If it’s a guy I know well and I know they’re interested in me too I’ll take the initiative but it will be more like ‘Do you want to hang out sometime?’ not ‘Will you go on a date with me?’. Also I want to be able to pay for things myself but if it’s a dinner or something, if he offers to pay then I won’t object but if he doesn’t have enough money I’d pay for myself.</p>
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^ Finally someone who understands! ;)</p>
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This is why I live off of cognative dissonance. </p>
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I think we all agree that it’s not fair, but alas… <em>glances downwards guiltily</em></p>
<p>ohnoezDx- "…I’ll take the initiative but it will be more like ‘Do you want to hang out sometime?’ not ‘Will you go on a date with me?’
I got slammed for suggesting the usage of “hang out” instead of “date” in a cross post Hookup vs Dating.
Thank you for your post #63.</p>
<p>“I got slammed for suggesting the usage of “hang out” instead of “date” in a cross post Hookup vs Dating.
Thank you for your post #63.”</p>
<p>Yea I saw that. The reason I’d say hang out instead of date is because I feel like I’d scare them if I said date, and less chance of rejection?</p>
<p>I’d rather ask out a perfect stranger than someone I know, though I’ve done it both ways. If you’re rejected by stranger you’ll never have to see them again. XD</p>
<p>That’s true but I don’t want to ask someone out I don’t even remotely know…that was probably a redundant statement but I wouldn’t.</p>
<p>I think for a lot of us, the concept of dating has become a lot less formal than it was in our parents’ time. And by that, I’m not necessarily referring to the college hookup culture. Most of the long-term relationships in my circle of friends didn’t begin with the traditional “girl meets boy; boy asks girl to movies”. Instead, most of them happened between two people who already spent time a lot of time together and developed feelings for each other over a longer period. Eventually, they had a talk that boiled down to “Are we together?” “Yeah, we’re together.” There was no official asking out, but there they were, in a relationship by mutual decision.</p>
<p>And as far as “hanging out” goes, I personally wouldn’t use that phrasing because I think it has too much potential for miscommunication and hurt feelings–it’s too ambiguous. Plus, it seems to be the go-to phrase for people who are friends with benefits but unwilling to admit it: “Oh, we’re just…you know…hanging out.” And to say that college students don’t date, they “hang out” implies (to me) that this is the only sort of romantic relationship found in college, which definitely isn’t the case.</p>
<p>well if I were to ask a guy I’d mean hang out as in go on a date. But yes there would be a miscommunication if they didn’t know what I meant. But hopefully they would know what I meant especially if they already knew I liked them and they liked me…then again assuming is bad. I guess I’d just feel weird flat out saying would you go on a date with me.
I never thought of it as a hook up term because I don’t use it that way nor do any of my close friends. Then again my close friends don’t hook up.</p>
<p>Yeah. It can also force the other person to awkwardly ask “Like…a date?” if they’re not sure. I would just make sure to preface it with something to the effect of “I really like you” so there’s no potential for a misunderstanding.</p>
<p>I’d definitely say something like that before asking the hang out question.</p>
<p>Girls dont know what its like on the other side of asking someone out and they never will because they wont get off their pedastool cause its easier sitting on top. Thats how it is. End of discussion .</p>
<p>^^
That’s not true. There are plenty of girls who aren’t even on a “pedestal.” The reason most guys take the initiative is because they think they’re supposed to, as said before.</p>
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</p>
<p>Maybe girls would like you more if you spelled better :)</p>
<p>“they wont get off their pedastool cause its easier sitting on top”
“Maybe girls would like you more if you spelled better”</p>
<p>■■■■■, truuue.</p>
<p>“The reason I’d say hang out instead of date is because I feel like I’d scare them if I said date, and less chance of rejection?”</p>
<p>if anything, i would do this.</p>