How often should freshman communicate with parents

[veruca]

<p>I wanted to respond to the ungrateful part.</p>

<p>I don’t think the parenting stops just because the kid is off at school. If the OPs son is truly acting rude (not saying thank you etc…)-I think he needs to be called on it.</p>

<p>I think forming character is part of the job of the parent. If your Mom or Dad won’t tell you that you are acting like a self-centered brat then who will?</p>

<p>I like the idea of some kind of conversation where the OP and the son sit down -maybe on skype and hash this out -work out some kind of compromise about how often and when they should communicate</p>

[music222]

<p>

Talk to me when you’re 65 and your parents are no longer around. I think you’re displaying braggadocio to make your point.

</p>

<p>You’re calling me arrogant for saying I don’t have regrets? Really?? I don’t believe in regrets. Never have, never will. I live for the present and don’t worry about the past. No point in living in regret and trying to change the past.</p>

<p>

and are temporarily addled with being young and unempathetic (based on your responses to the parents here)

</p>

<p>Have you read the whole thread? Some parents agree with me.</p>

<p>

then I am sorry to say that you will experience regret one day that you weren’t more communicative with your parents. I don’t wish that for you, but it’s simply what happens when we lose loved ones.

</p>

<p>Not for everybody. I communicate enough as I see fit. I don’t set a schedule to talk with anybody. I pick up the phone and talk to somebody when I want to. This goes with my friends. Sometimes I don’t talk to my friends for a couple of weeks. We are all fine with it. We communicate enough and spend enough time together. Who are you to tell be how I will feel once a person dies?</p>

[music222]

<p>

music222, I would suggest that you print out this thread and read it again in 25 years or so. I’ll bet donuts to dollars that you won’t have the same sentiments that you have posted here.

</p>

<p>How much would you like to bet?</p>

[music222]

<p>

Are you young? You appear to be, in which case I proffer that you don’t know about regret.

</p>

<p>Who wants to live in regret at any age? That’s not a good life to live.</p>

[music222]

<p>

There appear to be a dichotomy here in the responses from the parents v. the students.

</p>

<p>Have you read the entire thread? A lot of the parents don’t have the same views as others.</p>

[JenPam]

<p>

@music222

Who are you to tell be how I will feel once a person dies?

</p>

<p>An adult. </p>

<p>And yes, I’ve read the thread.</p>

[NewHavenCTmom]

<p>I had this issue with my own son who is now 21 years old… He would not call his grandparents to even thank them for the checks they would send to him… he was too busy he says… but NEVER EVER too busy to go to the bank and deposit them into his account. Its about being considerate and thinking of others to say a quick hello/how are you/school is great. We have raised a generation of selfish kids who think that its all about them/their needs and I think its sad. They only call us when they want something…</p>

[music222]

<p>

An adult. </p>

<p>And yes, I’ve read the thread.

</p>

<p>So you have regrets when the people you love die? Pretty sad.</p>

[music222]

<p>

I had this issue with my own son who is now 21 years old… He would not call his grandparents to even thank them for the checks they would send to him… he was too busy he says… but NEVER EVER too busy to go to the bank and deposit them into his account.

</p>

<p>That’s a totally different scenario than the issue at hand.</p>

<p>

We have raised a generation of selfish kids who think that its all about them/their needs and I think its sad. They only call us when they want something…

</p>

<p>What a way to generalize a whole generation.</p>

<p>It’s funny that you say this because this whole thread is about a parent’s needs.</p>

[GA2012MOM]

<p>music, this isn’t a thread about parental needs, it is a thread about family, consideration for others, respect and maturity.</p>

[jym626]

<p>Someone here seems to perhaps not have time to call his/her parents, but has plenty of time to argue with the parents on this thread? :rolleyes: Thats unfortunate…</p>

[music222]

<p>

music, this isn’t a thread about parents needs

</p>

<p>Actually it is.</p>

[music222]

<p>

Someone here seems to perhaps not have time to call his/her parents, but has plenty of time to argue with the parents on this thread? Thats unfortunate…

</p>

<p>lol Have you read my posts?</p>

[jym626]

<p>Get some sleep. Staying up all night arguing will only make one grouchier.</p>

[weatherga]

<p>From the original post on this thread: “We had quite the power struggle his senior year …”</p>

<p>Could it be that the young man feels angry and alienated? I’ve known young people who couldn’t wait to get out of the house and distance themselves from their parents. If the underlying problem is a bad relationship, rules about how often to call won’t fix it.</p>

[music222]

<p>

Get some sleep. Staying up all night arguing will only make one grouchier.

</p>

<p>Nope. I love a good discussion only if pertinent information is added. You just look silly making comments that don’t have anything to do with this thread.</p>

[music222]

<p>

Could it be that the young man feels angry and alienated? I’ve known young people who couldn’t wait to get out of the house and distance themselves from their parents. If the underlying problem is a bad relationship, rules about how often to call won’t fix it.

</p>

<p>Very well said.</p>

[T26E4]

<p>What a trainwreck of a thread. This has veered significantly, geez. At this stage, people are making out the OP to be Eva Braun. </p>

<p>How about a little less salacious speculation? Perhaps we posters are letting our own biases come out more than we care to?</p>

[music222]

<p>

At this stage, people are making out the OP to be Eva Braun.

</p>

<p>Oh geez. Lighten up.</p>

<p>

How about a little less salacious speculation?

</p>

<p>I think salacious is the wrong word.</p>

[jym626]

<p>Insulting posters for the content of their post is rude. You seem to want to dominate this thread with your parsing and critiquing of posts, and answering questions with questions. This is a discussion on the parents forum. Hopefully you treat your own with a bit more courtesy.</p>