HOW to ask girls out in college???(New Edition)

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Hi guys :) Glad to see I'm not the only one who missed this thread! Yay Sammywu! And Aim78, I'm impressed that you notice the subtle hints girls give out-- I really didn't think guys were that aware. It's true that every girl has her own 'technique'-- shy ones look away quickly, bold girls smile and say hi-- some just make sure they're standing near the guy as much as possible. But if a girl is interested, she will ALWAYS light up when she sees you. Sure sign. </p>

<p>So, update on my love life (should anyone care)-- ok, I'm taking ballroom dancing classes and I've met this very nice guy (who's a great dancer btw), who <em>seems</em> to be interested. However, he is very friendly to everybody so it's hard to tell if I'm 'special' in any way, or just one of many. He's given me unmistakable hints that he likes me (ugh, this sounds so middle school), but nothing bold enough to remove all doubt-- like a date. We had a great time dancing in class a couple days ago, after the class he even snuck me into the ballroom club, and drove me to my dorm (hugged goodnight + kiss on the cheek= so sweet). So, I e-mailed him right away about this other dance event that I was thinking of going to, but he still hasn't e-mailed me back. Wouldn't he have e-mailed by now if I was important to him? Is it possible that he's just very friendly to every girl... Urgh! Life was simpler when I didn't like him so much. I'm a dork. Meh. So there are the symptoms, does anyone have a diagnosis or prescription for me?</p>

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<p>if he gave u a hug and kiss and drove u to your dorm. And he doesn't do it for any other girls. I mean, he got to like u. It is obvious.</p>

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<p>Awww, thanks sammy :) I'm glad it's obvious to someone, becuase it sure isn't to me. lol</p>

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<p>This thread is hilarious</p>

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<p>I think he really does like you but probably didn't email you ASAP so that he could play it cool a little bit or so that he didn't seem too eager to see you again? </p>

<p>=/ THAT'S AWESOME THOUGH! </p>

<p>Off topic: I remember reading HMC has one of the best ballroom dancing clubs/teams...</p>

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<p>I sure hope that's the reason. I knew a guy who liked to "play it cool" while playing with the gray area between flirting and actually dating girls-- because he already had a girlfriend. That's what I'm worried about, thought my intuition tells me this guy is not the deceptive type. I really wish this guy would give me a definite signal one way or the other. Maybe he will when I see him this friday. It scares me a bit how he hasn't actually asked me out on a date yet-- kind of reminds me of the other guy with the girlfriend.</p>

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<p>Maybe it's just me, but a friendly ballroom dancer who hugged you and gave you a kiss on the cheek sounds like he might already have a boyfriend...I don't know what other kinds of clues he's giving off to you, but based on the information, that's what i'ld say</p>

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<p>LOL I'm laughing so hard right now! But, you might have a point there ;) I would hope my gaydar was better than that, but you never know. And he does dance very well... I think my e-mail must not have gone through. At least I hope that's the case, but I'll ask him tomorrow.</p>

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<p>Now don't get overconfident, lol... But if he has a thing for you, be patient with the email, he will get back to you. If he doesn't respond, it could just be that he hasn't checked his email, so don't fret. There's not much else you can do, so just relax and see what comes of it! Being a guy, I can say that if a girl that I like just talks to me, I will find myself opening up to her more... If he does this, you can become slightly more aggressive in your approach. Maybe ask him if he has any plans for the weekend, or just a subtle thing like that. Then if there's a window of opportunity, ask him if he wants to hang out with you (a dance event is perfect for you two, seeing that you are both dancers!). If he seems intimidated, he may just be shy to act on what he's feeling. But the best thing is to play it gently, and dont be too intrusive. He doesn't need you around him all the time to know that you like him. Give him a nice smile from across the room-that's something I really do like. He will get the hint eventually ;) just take your time, and have fun!! Let us all know how it turns out!</p>

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<p>Thanks blackferrari, very wise words. I asked him tonight (we have a dance classtogether) whether he got my e-mail, and he didn't. So he is forgiven. Tonight he invited me to an extra dance class in town (we danced all night-- Salsa is sooo good), invited me to come to another xtra dance class tomorrow afternoon, and a dance tomorrow night (a big fun one). And a movie sunday. And a Halloween party. (BIG SMILE). But,-- though you may not believe this-- he's still so friendly to everybody/every girl, it's difficult for me to judge the degree to which he likes me. Maybe I'm just a great new friend (frown). Ugh. I feel like a dimwit, not being able to figure this out. Some signs are obviously good (like movie + party), but I still need a clearer sign. CLARITY IS ALL I ASK FOR!. Ok, go laugh at me now. I know this is a ridiculous situation, and I'm probably being laughably dense.</p>

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<p>come on, isn't that clear enough!!! lol</p>

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<p>NO! The boy needs to make a move darn it!</p>

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<p>I can't speak for this guy, or any others, but I know that I like to put out "feelers" and ask girls to a few things and just gauge, by their reaction, what they think about me. He sounds like he's doing the same-- asking you out to a few things at first, then upping the ante by giving you a hug/kiss goodnight, and now a more involved weekend to spend with him. I'd say the from just reading what you've written, you've got a darn good chance here. Also, may I suggest, if the guy is the type to put out the "feelers," make sure you let him know how much you enjoy spending time with him and him asking you out, and such. That's one of the big worries/concerns I have (as the type to put out the "feeler"): the girl I'm hanging out with is either just trying to be nice and not reject me or just hates my living guts but can't say no. Good luck!</p>

<p>P.S. As far as my dating life goes, NSO girl has been unavailable this last week (midterms she's had to make up, schedule, and self-study for because she was going to California for the end of this week, through the weekend, and until Monday). I did meet up with her last Saturday night at the Homecoming football game (she's an usher there) and I met up with her right when she was going on her break so we managed to spend some time talking and just "hanging out." When I was there, she had some of the cough/throat drops I had given her and she told me they were "quite the lifesaver." When it came time for her to go back to work (and me to go home and watch Eternal Sunshine), she thanked me for visiting and told me I was the only person who has done that for her. Take note girls, the last two sentences are gold. If you like a guy, make sure he knows how much you are grateful for the little things he does (in this case, it was some throat drops and just visiting her at the football game).</p>

<p>In other news, this week went horribly (I didn't go to class too much, just felt sort of sick, weather's been cold/rainy, failed a couple midterms, etc., etc.) and I had no way of going out with NSO girl, so, needless to say, I was down in the dumps. Friday comes and I know I'm in need of something to do so I don't just spiral out of control. I ran into the old cafeteria girl when she was working (and I was waiting in line for some food) and we talked for a little while until I needed to order and she needed to get back to work. That was interesting. What's even more interesting was when I was leaving the food court, I heard someone call my name and, wouldn't you know it, cafeteria girl just got off work. We walked back to our dorms together (we live really stinkin' close to each other) and ended up talking for another half hour or so in front of her dorm until she needed to take a nap and I needed to run back to my room to get some books/notes for my next class. Again, that was pretty interesting. The night pressed on and eventually my itch to do something proved too much for me to bear. I called cafeteria girl to see if she wanted to do something tonight and it turned out she and a couple roommates were going to a nearby town to go to a haunted house (haunted forest actually). Now I don't think I need to go into detail about how girls react in those sorts of places but I will just say this- when girls (in general) get scared or spooked, they grab. In this case, there was a lot of cafeteria grabbing Jesse and a lot of cafeteria taking Jesse's arm to guide her through the dark. Now I'm not complaining because as I said before, this girl is great-- we don't have the connection me and NSO have but she's about as good as it gets otherwise. I just thought it was an interesting night (especially considering my insane fear of haunted houses).</p>

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<p>Welshie-- thanks for the input, and thank you more for the update on your love life ;) Just to let you know-- girls don't "grab" when they get scared, unless there's a cute guy they want an excuse to grab.</p>

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<p>Oh dear. It was pretty dark outside so she might have mistaken me for a "cute guy."</p>

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<p>Hahaha, I agree with anglophileLV. Thanks for the update on your love life, and cafeteria girl must definitely have a thing for you.</p>

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<p>well, I have a similar "grabbing" incident I may as well share, just cuz we are on that subject. About a year ago, I went to Disney World with my school band. While we were at MGM Studios, a few of my friends and I decided to go on the Tower of Terror. as we were snaking through the mansion to get to the ride, this girl kept eying me and I can't say that I didn't respond... I definitely played the situation and we both teased eachother a little bit. Finally we get to the ride, and who else was seated next to me but that same girl and her friend. Now... if you have ever been on the Tower of Terror, that first drop is always a surprise (even if it was your 3rd time of the day as was the case for my friends and I). While I was expecting the drop, I certainly wasn't expecting a hand to grab my leg and hold on for dear life. I swear, this girl had to be a drummer-she had a grip that could turn a rock into a diamond. Then as we were exiting the ride she gave me another one of her looks, and said "I'm sorry about that." I don't remember what I said, but if I spoke my mind, I probably would have gotten a hand across the face. Then that same day at Epcot, some girl had her friend approach me and my friends and ask how old I was, which was kinda funny, cuz when I looked at my friends, they were all wearing looks of "don't even say anything you little bastard." So Anyway... nice story Welshie, lol</p>

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<p>hahaha, this had definitely been interesting to read. my story freshman year was definitely interesting. When I first meet this senior (yes, cliched) I was really attracted to him, unbeknownst to me, he also liked me. What was funny was we meet in an organization, and so, I had my freshman friends and he had his senior friends, and my freshman friends could see that I liked him, and his senior friends could see that he liked me, but nobody spoke to the other about it. So, a whole semester went by without anybody making any move despite everyone (including me and him) being really good friends (ah, so many nights staying up until 8am talking to each other). </p>

<p>so, it was after valentines day, and being me, I sat down with him and told him my feelings because of all the "signs" he gave off (asking me, and only me, to watch movies with him, go to the city with him, etc) but it turned out that he was only doing it subconsciously because he "used" to like me but because I was only a freshman, he had "squash" his feelings for me, blah blah blah. I was really hurt, and then, being stupid me again and putting my heart on my sleeve, in march, i told him I couldn't get over him and that i still really liked him, and AGAIN, he gave all the reasons we couldn't be together. I was extremely bummed, and I got the message.</p>

<p>so, april rolls around, and our organization's annual event comes along, and everyone got really drunk at the afterparty because the event was such a success. it was the first time I really got drunk and perhaps acted like a fool. We were still friends, and I wasn't as hurt. so, suddenly, he came up to kiss me when I was taking a breather (I now call our first kiss the spiderman kiss because I was laying down and he came up to me over my head) and he kissed me. I didn't respond because I was so shocked. I thought he didn't like me anymore. </p>

<p>He immediately rushed away (and I found out later he got frightened by what I would think) and the next day, when both of us were feeling more like ourselves, I confronted him about it. apparently he had never gotten over me, but he was afraid that he'd get hurt. still, he realized that he'd rather get hurt than to not have a relationship with me, and was afraid I had gotten over him. I told him no, but I had respected his decision and stopped "pursuing" him. So, since that fateful night, we have been together, and both of us are glad that we both took the risk to be together--we are both so happy and in love. it was worth all the pains in the beginning.</p>

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<p>Wow, I must say this is the best message board thread, ever. It's like a textual drama. And I don't mean that in a mocking way. You all must keep posting the play-by-play of your lives.</p>

<p>Although I suppose I should recipricate.</p>

<p>Well my first experience of girls at college was this one girl in my Architecture class. She did the whole "Do I know you form somwhere?" routine, maybe she was serious though. Anyway, we exchanged phone numbers and we talked some in class, but that's pretty much it. Which is fine by me, she's nice, but the spark isn't there.</p>

<p>I'm not too bad at talking to girls, but like someone said, its different than HS. So I've been woefully lonely, especially since my last gf broke up wth me a couple weeks ago. Willing to try anything I joined a site designed to meet people, and sent messages to some girls that interested me that were in my area.</p>

<p>Well, lo and behold, I get a couple messages back from some girls. One actually IMs me and we talk for some time. It just so happens she lives the next town over, and is interested in going here. I offered to give a personal tour and she agreed.</p>

<p>We talked a bunch more, and slowly the day approached when she was supposed to come. That day, I eagerly waited for her, but to no avail. Giving up, I left. I IMed and it turns out it was supposed to be next week. DOH! So now here it is Sun morning and I still have 3 days to wait.</p>

<p>The good news we've talked a bunch more, and we share alot of interests. I've seen pictures of her and she's beautiful, and she says she thinks I'm cute. So based on nearly everything, it seems like we're a good match, but I guess Wednesday (the day we're meeting) will be the true test.</p>

<p>Arg! I just wish I had a time machine to go into the future and get to Wednesday!</p>

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<p>Hmm, I'm having some troubles of my own....</p>

<p>I am a senior in HS this year and the guy that I like is a freshman in college. Everyone loved him in HS, and everyone still talks about him all the time (which is very frustrating, believe me). We were good friends and I thought that he might like me too, but I was too shy to ask. </p>

<p>He left for college in September and I emailed him more than 2 weeks ago and he hasn't responded! He's not the kind of guy to blow anyone off, even if he disliked them, and especially not me. So I'm wondering if he's just too busy to reply (he went to a really good school) or if he didn't get my email? (But I haven't gotten anything saying my message didn't send). </p>

<p>I'm getting really anxious and sort of curious, I'm starting to question whether I knew him as well as I thought! So guys, what do you think? If a friend from your hometown emailed you, what would prevent you from responding?</p>