<p>I'm an international (Chinese) applicant, so my mom is really paranoid/worried about sending me to the other side of the world to study in boarding school - she thinks I won't eat properly, I won't sleep properly, the flight is way too long, I can't carry my luggage by myself, I can't take care of myself when I'm sick, I'll ignore her, I'll waste money, etc.... (the list of her worries goes on and on and on). She doesn't want me to leave home unless theres a close friend living nearby. She also has this belief that the top boarding schools are full of legacies and rich people, and that it would be a 'bad influence'. Her goal (like many Asian parents) is for me to get into an Ivy League university (Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, etc.). My current school is already a really great school, so she doesn't find boarding school necessary for me to 'get into a good university'. </p>
<p>But personally, I think that the boarding school experience is as important as/more important than the idea of 'getting into a good college'. Learning to live on your own, having really close friends and teachers, and getting to learn completely new things that you might have never thought about before. What do you think? Why is it important or not important to have the boarding school experience? </p>
<p>I also have a question... do those boarding schools really help you get into a good college? Or is it just that most of the students at those boarding schools have 'connections' to the universities so that even though they might not be that great, they still get in?</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing your thoughts =)</p>
<p>PS: I've applied to Hotchkiss, Lawrenceville, Choate and Peddie. I know I shouldn't already be thinking about whether or not to go when I'm not even accepted yet, but if the time comes, I don't want my mom to immediately say no.</p>
<p>hey vivsters.
Well, first off, I wasn’t even allowed to apply back in 8th grade so you’re lucky you were haha. 关系is something mostly chinese, not many american parents invest that much in their children’s education (sorry for the stereotype), and so don’t tend to use it. Legacy doesn’t help that much in colleges, despite the huge urban myths. Boarding schools definitely help, and despite the large percentage of blue bloods, the people going to boarding schools tend to get a better education, and have a better time in high school.
they’re also waayyyy better than whatever ISB has to offer, so jump in for it. Talk to your counselor if you want–Mrs. Gold is a very nice lady.</p>
<p>Vivsters, like 30-50% of people at GLADCHEMMS (or whatever other schools) are on financial aid, meaning they’re just regular people. So not being rich or famous puts you at no disadvantage.</p>
<p>“Legacy doesn’t help that much in colleges” - I disagree if you’re talking about getting into the top colleges. Those (few) colleges usually select the best students from the giant pool of legacies (children/grandchildren of alumni/professors/etc, rich people who make very big donations, etc.) Especially Stanford. But in terms of getting into a college that you’re happy in/are successful in, legacy does not really matter.</p>
<p>“they’re also waayyyy better than whatever ISB has to offer” - Mr Fidler keeps telling me that those boarding schools aren’t that much better than ISB, however I don’t know if that’s true or not. My mom is starting to believe him… she knows that those boarding schools are much more prestigious, but she just thinks that it’s not worth the ‘risk’ to send me so far away. She’d rather I stay at ISB.</p>
<p>Talk to your mom about how boarding schools are more than academic learning opportunities, they’re LIFE learning opportunities. Nothing can prepare you for college better than boarding school.</p>
<p>Vivsters, your mom sounds like a smart woman. It’s not a small thing to send a child so far away to school.</p>
<p>I would point out that, if she criticizes boarding schools for being “full of legacies and rich people,” the Ivy League is also full of such students.</p>
<p>“Paranoid mom” is a redundent statement. Mom on its own will sufice! ;)</p>
<p>“…she thinks I won’t eat properly, I won’t sleep properly, the flight is way too long, I can’t carry my luggage by myself, I can’t take care of myself when I’m sick, I’ll ignore her, I’ll waste money, etc… (the list of her worries goes on and on and on)…”</p>
<p>The key here is “I’ll ignore her”. Convince her that you won’t and all will be fine. </p>
<p>This said, are you sure you can overcome homesickness? I know it affected me negatively when I went to boarding school.</p>
<p>“she thinks I won’t eat properly, I won’t sleep properly, the flight is way too long, I can’t carry my luggage by myself, I can’t take care of myself when I’m sick, I’ll ignore her, I’ll waste money, etc… (the list of her worries goes on and on and on). She doesn’t want me to leave home unless theres a close friend living nearby.”</p>
<p>I applied to boarding schools and I know my parents are happy about one in particular because they have family living close by. The other two schools, I’m not so sure what they’d do if I got accepted, so I share that problem. But for the other statements…
You would probably eat properly because of the great food offered at BS
You have lights out so you would finally fall into a habit of sleeping right
The flight may be too long but wouldn’t it be if you went to an Ivy?
Pack light? hehe… well I’m sure you have the confidence in yourself to carry it.
When you are sick, there are nurses on campus at BS
You could agree to talk a certain time maybe once a week over skype or something, mail her letters… I mean you might ignore her at first because you’d be excited, but I know eventually I’D get homesick and want to talk to her.
And let her know that you know that the money your given won’t be endless and will eventually run out, so you would have to spend wisely. </p>
<p>I mean overall, you will make mistakes and learn from them, but that will better prepare you for Ivy League schools and life in general! </p>
<p>I believe the strongest argument here is that if you go to boarding school, you may actually get closer with your family and become stronger. You’ll learn to appreciate your family more and get closer when you return each break. Boarding school is also like cushioning the blow for college. You live outside of your family, but you aren’t completely on your own yet. It’s a great transition.</p>
<p>OP, you will be applying to college from the international applicant pool, in which legacies are rarer, so if you do well in a top boarding school it would almost certainly help you in college admission, but you mother’s concerns are legitimate. If she thinks you are not ready, you should consider her opinions seriously. It is not an easy road - especially considering your current school “is already a really great school”. And you didn’t mention the additional cost BS would incur. If it’s of any concern, would it be worth it?</p>
<p>um. mr. fidler works at ISB? He benefits from you staying at ISB? oui?
And thanks to markalex1 for bringing up the financial aid question. I’d take a liberal guess at 10% of people at boarding schools are blue blood, conservative at 5%.</p>
<p>vivsters- I know what your mom means. It must be hard to let you stay at a boarding school on the other side of the world… It’s the same for me, except that my parents have tons of friends in the states, so that will be no worry for me. All that matters is that YOU are prepared for boarding school and that you trust that YOU will have no problem being independent.</p>
<p>And IMOH, I think boarding school really does prepare you for college. Definitely. Some may not agree, however, but this is my own opinion.</p>
<p>let your mom talk to other parents who already have children at boarding schools, in stead of just imagining things by herself.</p>
<p>In terms of college application, DAndrew is right, international legacy is rare (for mainlanders) but there are students with high family background, the red third generation. They are more in top tier schools than in lower tier schools.</p>
<p>@vivsters,
The only point of boarding school isn’t to improve your college admissions chances. Yes, boarding school will help your college admissions chances, (Please no fights about this, those things really get under my skin) but there are so many other points. Boarding schools try to create a really stimulating intellectual environment and really help you learn, which to me is more important than the improved college admissions chances us boarding school students will enjoy. For my parents, I had to show them the college admissions stuff to convince them to let me apply.</p>
<p>@OP: Tell your mom how much harder it is to get in as an int’l applicant. With the sheer number of qualified applicants applying from that portion of the world your chances are severely lowered because they can’t possibly admit that many people from one area.</p>
<p>Okay well, I used to go to Concordia in Shanghai and I had several teachers that wanted to convince me out of applying to boarding schools… They were convinced that Concordia was on par with these top prep schools and I’m actually pretty sure one of them sabotaged my first application…
But anyways, that’s not the point. The point is, these boarding schools can not be compared to ISB or SAS or WAB or HKIS or whichever international school you’re going to now. Yes, they’re good schools and they offer a decent education, but the breadth and depth of classes offered at these prep schools is incomparable to those.</p>
<p>Oh and, to Rad…
It’s actually quite different. Int’l students that are local kids from China tend not to make it because their English and/or social skills are not what the schools are looking for, unless they’re like geniuses or prodigies or something. They actually like admitting kids who go to int’l schools in China because they add to their int’l student count when those kids are actually just expats.</p>
