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So, yesterday I had a quarrel with my roommate. She just came to me and said that some guy who left our room five minutes ago said to her that I said about her some bad things. Then she started yelling at me. Meanwhile I actually said, not exactly said, but write on a peace of paper to this guy to avoid some theme and not ask her about this so she don’t get upset (I was trying to be nice person) . But there was nothing more about it. But she came accusing me that I said something about her… So then I send a message to this guy to clarify the situation and he said that he didn’t even see her when he left the room (She left the room first). A couple days ago she was telling me that I am not respect her. I suppose she think like that because when I asked me about notes form the class she skiped. I declined and said to her if she was ill or had another important things to do I could borrow her the notes, I don’t have problem with that. After that she started behaving differently like she wanted to start conflict or something. She said that I’m not her mother etc. to have the right telling her where she should go etc. I just feel confused and, truth been told, mad. And now she is sitting here like nothing happened…
How to deal with a high-conflict and a little bit paranoid person,if you are sharing a room with her
Talk to your RA.
Talk to your RA. Tell them you would live advice on interacting with your roommate. Tell them about what you wrote on the note (i don’t understand that)…be specific so they know where she is coming from. Then tell them about how you didn’t want to share notes because she skipped class (not because of illness). Say that there is tension between you now and you want to find out how to de-escalate.
Your roommate has some issues, sounds like they need a single room
I am kind of confused about both of these incidents and the sequence of events.
In the first instance, it sounds like you had a guy friend in your room. You wanted to say something about your roommate - potentially something not so positive, because you were afraid she was going to get upset - so you wrote it down on a piece of paper to show him. Then later she said that you said some bad things about her. The question is - DID you actually say some bad things about her? Or did you write them on the piece of paper? Because if she’s correct your guy friend could’ve been lying.
The other conflict sounds like it happened because she asked to borrow some notes from you from a class she skipped, and you told her no (“I declined.”) But then you said that she could borrow notes if she’s sick or had some important conflict. It’s hard to tell what you mean here, but it sounds like you were judging her reason for skipping class and saying that you wouldn’t share your notes with her because she skipped class for a reason you don’t think is legitimate - only if she were sick or did something you thought was important. That’s your prerogative, of course, but I can see why she’d be irritated about that, and why she might say something snarky like ‘you’re not my mother.’
I think there are some communication issues on both ends.
Is English not your first language? It doesn’t seem like it so maybe something is being lost in translation between you and your roommate.