<p>First and foremost - keep the lines of communication open!!! You should also try to get to know the parents of the bf or gf and hopefully both sets of parents can work as a team. </p>
<p>My daughter has been dating the same boy almost three years. They encourage each other to succeed in school and their extracurricular activities. They genuinely take a lot of pride in each others accomplishments. </p>
<p>My daughter has always put her grades first and dating hasn’t changed that one bit. I think his interest in school has increased from my daughter’s influence because he has told me that my daughter would never want to date a dumb boy.</p>
<p>A relationship can be a good thing if both kids are good kids.</p>
<p>Just to remind you that if they date for a long time, the odds are they won’t need to spend as much time on the phone as they might do in the beginning. I still can’t believe how much time they spent on the phone in the beginning.</p>
<p>D’s BF’s parents set a limit last year - no texting during homework. I was glad they did that, helped D to study as well! And they have a habit of talking to each other just before bedtime, we set a limit that phone calls had to end by 10:30 (even cell phone). Other than that they were both pretty motivated students so we didn’t have to do much, and since the rules were so minimal and reasonable, so they didn’t really object. </p>
<p>In my experience, trying to keep young lovers apart just turns them into Romeo and Juliet. What’s more romantic than “forbidden love”? And they are learning valuable life lessons when building a relationship, and navigating their way thru arguments or disagreements. The lessons don’t show up on the report card, but they are important nonetheless.</p>
<p>One young man we know resisted doing college apps the fall of his senior year. GF said “we have to get this done” and in one weekend all was accomplished. Mother was stunned and impressed. </p>
<p>It can be good to say "you, I trust. Nature, I do not. Biology drives you and her to take it to the next level every time you are together. Protect her by making sure you are meeting in public places or at home when family members are around. It is your responsibility as a man to not father a child until you are ready to raise one. " That makes the sexuality an adult thing, not a forbidden thing.</p>
<p>D recently had her first “real” BF; relationship lasted 2 months. So it goes sometimes in HS. I was very scared about the “distraction” thing at the beginning, but I knew I had to just trust her, and gave her space and opportunity to “learn” about relationship as well as school work. It’s unfortunate, I think, that kids’ lives have to be so scheduled and pressured and focused on academics in high school that they can’t have latitude to experience this very important and normal part of development without all the adults around them having a cow. Her school work didn’t suffer at all - she is innately very disciplined, and having a BF didn’t change that. Her sleep - well, that’s another story - they would talk for hours on the phone, past her normal bedtime. Over all, I learned that being there for her emotionally, during and especially after the break up, was the most important thing. I also got in touch with my own deepest fear - unplanned pregnancy - and we had a series of good honest talks about that issue, leading to me taking her to talk to a nurse about potential birth control options. Whew, that parenting moment is over, and actually, I feel it went really well!!! Now we just have to strategize getting a date to the prom … :-)</p>